Unexpected toileting problems with 2yr old

[fridgemonkey]

Hello, I'm quite new to mumsnet, so apologies if this has been covered before...

My little boy, (2.3) has suddenly started getting really upset about doing a poo. He is consciously hanging on and trying not to go, running up and down on the spot and looking very agitated. Then, when nature takes its course he starts crying and saying "no, no, all done".

I don't know if this is just a normal phase or if it is a problem?

We're not really potty training him yet, (I thought I would wait until the summer and it's a bit warmer), just letting him go in the loo if he asks, as he wants to be like daddy.

Any advice on what might have caused this change as I'm drawing a blank, and also what I should be doing. Just ignoring it or should I start the potty training or, well, I don't know?!

Thanks,
FMx

You could ask him if he wants to use the potty.

It sounds like he's just realised that he's about to poo and is trying to control it - some 2year olds have no idea when they're about to poo.

Tell him 'well done' when he's pooed - he might get the hint it's a good thing. He might just not like the sensation.

I have heard of children around this age who suddenly get scared to poo because they sort of think that they are losing part of their body when they poo.

Ideas: take ds to the loo with you when you need to poo and let him see it afterwards (yucky - yes, but may normalise it for him) If you can get your dp/dh to do this too, even better.

Let him see the contents of his nappy when he does a poo and tell him "well done! You did a poo!"

There are some good books that might alleviate stress about pooing
One called "Everybody poos" with a bunch of pooing animals.

Also, it may be that your ds is ready to potty train. When you think he is holding it in, put him on a potty. I gave my ds books about children toilet training to read whilst on the potty. It really inspired him!

Hope something works out for you!

Has he had a hard stool recently?

If he has it could be that it hurt to 'go' He would then try to hang on to it (for fear it will hurt again)

Keep an eye on him though, as it can become a vicious circle of him holding on because it hurts, the stool will then get harder because it hasn't come out, then it will hurt when it does so it reinforces the message to him that it does hurt and so it goes on if that makes sense?

If his stools are hard a few days on lactolose to soften it a bit won't do him any harm.

this one

and this one

and this one are our favourites...

Thanks for those suggestions. I will give them a try.

Also, he did have a hard stool about a week ago, it didn't seem particularly painful to him, but that could have triggered this if it was uncomfortable.

Is lactolose a brand name? Can you get it from the chemist or is prescription only?

I dont think it is a brand name, is it elesbells? It is basically a sugar solution - I think you can buy it over the counter - although discuss with the pharmacist how much to give a two year old.

My DS, now 5, had a similar problem just before he was 2. He seemed to find it very difficult to pass a stool with his nappy on. When we took it off so it could all come out freely in one go without getting squashed, he was fine. Very soon after he started using the toilet to poo and never had another problem.

My 21 month old and my friends 21 month old (girls) are both doing this at the moment, I think that wanderingtrolley is right - they suddenly become aware of being about to do a poo and also aware that they can do something to control it. My little girl says "Oh no! Poo!" when she is about to go and gets quite annoyed but she is definately not constipated nor has she been (I'm a nurse and know firsthand what is constipated and not constipated poo!).

I just try to explain to her that she is doing a poo and to squeeze it out so that it is all gone - then demonstrate appropriate "squeezing a poo out" faces and positions much to my H's amusement! Pingu and dolly have a go too which usually helps. I love the idea of those books though, they look great.

Lactulose isn't a brand name, its the generic name. I would talk to the pharmacist first if it were me, but that is because I wouldn't give it if his poos have been of a normal consistency when they are done because you don't want to give him a dose of the runs which may not help either.