HOW do you manage to all eat together, as a family?!?!

[tryingforbaba]

Me & DP have 1 x 18 month old daughter and another baby on the way.

One of my intentions as a parent is to all sit down together for family dinners. I think it's an important bonding time and important for building a healthy relationship with food.

Ideally I'd like to start this as early as now but it just doesn't seem to work out.

DD goes to bed at 7 and so has food around 530/6. Partner isn't home from work by then and if he is, he's not hungry.

I'm not either really but I try to sometimes sit down and eat with her.

Also DP likes to cooks for himself (very picky) and I don't always like the stuff he has.... it all just feels discombobulated. I also take work calls in the evening from 7-9 so reality of me cooking for everyone later (even if he'd eat it) would be unrealistic.

I am just wondering how your family makes it work .... when did you all start eating as a family? Do you think it's important at baby: toddler age?

Ps- I will generally cook at weekend something we all like and make sure that we have a family meal on a Sunday.

At that age is very difficult to coordinate and not something to worry about until they're a little bit older. Aim to perhaps eat together at the weekends but only do it when it works for you!

My kids are now young teens and we tend to eat together but most evenings when they were younger they ate earlier around 5 and then we would eat later it's only now that we can do it

We all ate together at 630pm or 645pm if necessary. We lived 15 minutes away from work (in a pretty undesirable part of London) so we could make this happen. Absolutely worth it.

When my DC were that age we didn't eat together as DH wasn't home in time. Now they're older and we do usually eat together (unless the timing doesn't work out on a particular evening). So I don't think you need to start when she's only a toddler and still going to bed early. Do you have meals together at weekends? That's a good start. Even if you're eating different things I think it's still worth sitting down at the table together.

Honestly we sucked it up and just started having an early dinner, it was more important that Dd sit down at the table as a family to eat than whether we wanted to eat at that time. We are used to it now and really don’t like eating after 6:30 latest anymore. It did take some adjusting and there was a few months of late night snacking for me and DH but we got there. Overall I think it’s probably been good for us.

We did it from the start. But we kept our babies/toddlers up until at least 8 so we didn't eat ridiculously earl. Like in your situation, father is a very fussy eater, so a couple of times a week he'd have to opt out and cook his own thing out of view of the kids later. We couldn't hide the fact for ever, so it was hard to challenge everyone else's fussy demands as they got older. But in our experience, kids got very busy with evening clubs and activities as they got older, so if we hadn't set up the eating together right from the beginning, it probably wouldn't have happened at all.

We don’t and it isn’t something I worry about. I don’t believe it is important for preschoolers and in fact think it can be detrimental.

We had (still have- kids are teens) breakfast together.
In the very early days, weekend meals together, but from about 1yr old - ie actually eating meals - we all had early dinner together.
Find a way to make it work, at least some of the time.

It’s not the biggest deal. It’s one of those ‘easy fix’ parenting strategies that is advised to make sure families eat well and have time to chat with their children. It doesn’t have to be at the same time. Some families can only make time for talk IF it’s while they’re eating. You probably do all sorts of other things with your children that have the same benefits.
For some families it’s counter productive. Certainly used to be more stressful for me when I tried to do this as the range of sensory and social needs in the family means that close proximity, eating, smells, sitting still, using cutlery, chewing sounds, are all too much.
We eat our often, or together if we have visitors, and manners have been learned somehow.

I have a 2.5 year old and a 5 month old and we always have dinner together. For 2 reasons one it’s good bonding and I want that for my daughters and secondly it really helps my 2.5 year old eat better- she will see broccoli on my plate and realise we all have it! I suppose that’s not as important if you’re child eats well.
we eat dinner at 6/6:15 and kids are in bed 7:30.
by 6:40 we are done and kitchen cleaned whilst kids play. 7 pm milk and baths.
the key thing though is I don’t know if it’s beneficial if your husband will be eating a different meal as that might be confusing for your little one.

How about breakfast together? Or just weekend meals? It doesn't have to be every meal or every day.

I think it is important to model table manners and as a chance to have chat etc about the day. I don’t think you need to do it all the time if it’s unrealistic for you but a few times a week if you can? But we did it with my parents so it’s just the normal for me. Or like you say, eat a small portion with them and then your dinner later with DH?

If my DH is working, then I eat with the children at 5/5.30 ish (tbh after having lunch around 12.30 I’m ready for dinner by then and prefer to eat earlier rather later anyway and hate the idea of cooking again once they’ve gone to bed!) Luckily he does shifts so is around some days to eat with us.

We all eat together early. 5.30 at the latest really. We just got used to it. I’m starving if I’ve not eaten by 6 now!! It’s nice to eat together most nights and chat about the day.

Detrimental how so?

I never liked the idea of my child eating most of their meals on their own so initially I would eat with the children around 5.30 and husband would eat later if home. I liked modelling sitting together etc

Weekends we all ate together.

Maybe you could have "something" while your toddler eats tea ie have a small portion of what they have - even if you eat later?

If I made a big dinner for the 3 of us I'd use the leftovers to form some lunch for toddler the next day but often she went with "picky bits" (I hate that term but heard it on mn and that's what it is!) of chopped veg, egg, cheese, ham, bread sticks etc at lunch time.

The only real answer is that it's only possible during the week if you're all home in time. We eat together at 6-6.30 and have done since my eldest was weaning. I appreciate we're lucky to all be home then. We often don't all get home until 6, so we do a lot of meal prep to make sure we can have a home-made dinner ready quickly.

Could you all eat together at the weekend, as a compromise?

The weekends are your best option.

Set the bar low, this is the practice, it takes a while to become "perfect". Getting children to sit at the table without a screen is a great skill for eating out.

I used to sit down with the children and have something to drink myself while they ate. As they got older we shifted timing so we all ate together.

We eat dinner together at 5 everyday, which I know from the outside seems ridiculously early but we’ve just got used to it. Both my husband and I have flexible jobs that facilitate us doing this.
Dd who is nearly 3 eats the same meal as us every night and is great in restaurants, which may be influenced by eating together every night (or just luck!)
It’s a really nice time to chat about our day.

We didn't and still don't DS is 5. He eats dinner about 4.30-4.45! I eat with him, DH eats alone later on.
Only way possible like you say, is lunches at weekends.

When my older 2 were younger DH was out 7-7 so they ate before he got home and we only ate together at weekends.

Now he's home at 5.30 so we all eat together every night at about 5.45/6. I know lots of people think that's too early but I work from home so can get the dinner started before he gets home. I would hate to be cooking and then clearing up later in the evening when I'm trying to get littlest to bed. I also hate eating late and going to bed still full! I guess we adjust to the routine we are used to...

We all eat together at 5.30pm. DH gets home from work then and is hungry as he has had lunch around 12 at work, I wfh and I'm done by 4pm. DCs go to bed at 7.30/8.30. DH and I have the same meal, DCs get offered the same or sometimes I do something a bit milder. It's nice to have that time together as a family, and getting dinner out of the way earlier means we can spend time doing homework and play time, or a short walk before bedtime.

Pre-dc, DH and I used to eat much later (we'd often do sports or gym straight after work) but we quickly adapted to an earlier dinner once the eldest weaned.

At the toddler age I just sat with them and had a snack whilst they ate dinner. But by 6 or 7 years old they could wait to eat with us at 7 pm. And even as toddlers they always had breakfast together with us as a family. It’s important for modelling good eating and table manners, but also time to chat about the day.

I agree that when you're used to all eating together it feels like the easiest way. The kitchen is cleaned by 7.30pm every night, and I hate the thought of getting the kids down then making dinner for ourselves every night, as a lot of my friends do. I also couldn't face cooking twice every night. We do quite often do it on a Friday - we have a different, grown-up meal with wine later on - and it means I make a really quick and easy meal for the children and that the adults don't sit down to eat until often nearly 9.

I don't think you should stress about this with nursery age kids to be honest. You can eat at the table with them for breakfast and lunch when they're home with you, and meals at the weekend.

Children who go to nursery or preschool often get five social eating opportunities a day while they're there. Three meals and two snacks. They sit with their peers at the table for each one, and are taught table manners the nearer they get to school age. Usually when they get home they're tired, and it's hard to eat as a family when they're grouchy and adults are not hungry. It often ends in disaster.

Instead, focus on the other opportunities to eat together as a family and let it go until they're a bit older.