Letter from my husband that I can travel with DS

[ElbiTut]

So I am going abroad for the first time alone with my baby boy.
We have different surnames but for that I am thinking birth certificate and marriage certificate will do. I will have them legalized.
But what I am confused about is the letter that I apparently need from my husband OK-ing our trip.
We are not sure if this needs to be also legalized in some way (by a solicitor/lawyer? What is the average price?) or is it literally just handwriting/ typed letter freestyle.

So, what are people doing? Also have you been asked for this letter anywhere? Because honestly I don't think it is a quite common knowledge, I could have easily missed this completely:S

I took DD and her friend on Eurostar, they were 12. No one asked for any documents and neither did I have any.

I have travelled a lot with my kids, without their father. They have a different surname and a different nationality from mine, and I have only ever needed their birth certificates, and only ever for entering the UK.

And, thinking about it now, once my kids were over about 7 the border officer generally just chatted to them and ignored me. They know the signs that they are looking for.

@GreenRaven

Are these thousands of children trafficked by their mothers?

OP is the child's legal mother. I

You need to check the requirements of the country that you are travelling to OP - they are all different.

I'm in the same position as you. Uk border control may ask to see the children's birth certificates (to show they are your children), your marriage certificate (to explain the different surnames), a signed letter from your DH confirming his consent to you travelling with the children without him. The letter should include his address, context details, passport number. A photocopy of his passport is also helpful. You should forewarn your children that they will be questioned about who you are, where you are going and why.

Also OP there's some very dodgy advice on this thread. Just because some posters haven't been asked to show certain documents, doesn't mean that you aren't required to travel with those documents.

Yes, you are completely right. Lots of children are taken away from a parent by another parent.

You should check if you're worried - but this letter is a) not exactly greate proof anyway, and b) explicitly not required by the UK:

a birth or adoption certificate showing your relationship with the child. divorce or marriage certificates if you're the parent but have a different surname from the child. a letter from the child's parent giving permission for the child to travel with you and providing contact details, if you're not the parent.

From the UK government website - you only need this letter if you are not the parent

Can't rely on surnames... A high percentage of Wales is called Jones, Williams or Davies.

They are frequently trafficked by women who claim to be their mothers

It is another adult that can be checked up on for criminal behaviour, contacted and used as verification.

it has saved children. Not all children, but some children.

Why are people so against another procedure which adds another layer of safety and contributes to the welfare of children?

It is another adult that can be checked up on for criminal behaviour, contacted and used as verification.

No it's not, it's a hand written note to someone on the other end of a phone. Could be anyone.

it has saved children. Not all children, but some children.

Actual blocks at ports and questioning procedures save children. Anyone relying on this as proof a child should be able to leave is foolish.

Why are people so against another procedure which adds another layer of safety and contributes to the welfare of children?

Because it's ridiculous to suggest that sharing a surname, or a hand-written note contribute anything to it - it's easily faked, not actually any kind of security at all. I suppose it can be seen as a talking point, and I'd say that that - the experienced immigration officer is the actual security here, not the note.

There is some really bad advice on this thread. Some countries have rules about under 18s travelling with only one parent and letters signed in the presence of a solicitor are required. You need to check your destinations requirements at gov.uk. Countries like South Africa, Portugal and Canada have requirements. Italy used to, not sure if that's changed so this is why you need to check yourself for current government not mumsnet advice.

If your destination is not requiring additional paperwork I'd still carry a letter signed by the other parent and a photocopy of their passport to be safe. Templates can be found online. Anecdotes about people who have managed to travel without are not a guarantee you will have the same experience.

I've been asked for this letter three times travelling in and out of the EU. They wanted to see a letter signed by ExH, detailing who he was, his contact details and passport number, who DH and I are, who the DC are and their address, where they were going, where they would be staying and when they would return to the UK. The letter needed to be counter-signed by a witness (not me or DH), with a copy of ExH's passport details page so they could verify his signature and a copy of the DC's birth certificates.

No need (yet) for it to be notarised or apostilled. I'd probably get that done if I was taking them to South Africa as they're very hot on it.

I can PM you the template I use if you like.

I have a different surname and different nationality from my children. I carry my marriage certificate and a letter from DH. The original marriage certificate. I used to carry birth certificates too, but actually haven't done that for a while. The letter i just get him to say when and where we are travelling, he gives permission and his contact numbers. It's never been looked at tbf neither have the other documents ever but guaranteed the one time I don't have them it will be asked for!!

I have never had the docs certified- they were clearly originals.

It might help that the Dcs are the absolute spit of me. Also, when they got older they were often very casually questioned as to who I was in a very relaxed way that is easily missed. 'Are you happy to be going away with mum?'. That sort of thing. Much harder when DS1 was non-verbal which he was until about 5 or so SEN).

And to echo other posters. It doesn't matter if some of us have never had to show the docs- its always important to carry them.

Birth and marriage certificate just because we have different surnames.
He is a baby so he cannot explain or confirm I am his mum.

If a hand written un certified letter is enough its the easiest bloody thing to fake in the world so achieves nothing

I totally agree and this is why I am asking for experience. Because the gov site says no need to notarize, which imo deems it pointless.
As for destination (Croatia) also cannot find literally no information about what to expect on that border.
One would expect these things are a bit more standardized but apparently not :S

Never asked for the letter abroad, only re-entering the U.K. 🙄 my child is always asked “who is this lady?”

After he shouted “mummyyyyyy!” and hugged me, once I looked towards the officer and he handed me a leaflet “why do we ask these questions” 😅

In my experience just the birth certificate is fine. I have a different surname from my children, but my name is on their birth certificates, so that proves that I am their mother. I am not married to their father, so don't have a marriage certificate.

I have flown from the UK to Croatia(Pula) a couple of times with the children, without their father, and never been asked for anything apart from passports (although admittedly I was pretty relaxed about it because I knew my partner was waiting for us at the airport and speaks Croatian, so if anyone had cared it would have been easy to sort out).

As others have pointed out, obviously experiences differ, but I have only ever been asked for their birth certificates as proof that they are my children.

Hi, did you hand write the letter or type it out on the computer?

There is never a good reason to hyphenate names. They are awful.