How can it feel ok?

[seasaltwater]

I have one child - conceiving took over three years, multiple surgeries and losses. Due to endometriosis, birth injury/surgery - I am no longer able to conceive (basically gone into menopause v.early).

For lots of reasons, I wanted to have two children. I know it's not everyone, but it feels like most people around me float very easily into being pregnant and having a child when they want one. Everyone else's joy makes me feel so sad.

I want to know how it can start to feel ok to confidently have one child and be able to answer questions about 'only one?' without it making me feel like a failure/deepest of sadness.

(Please no fertility tips, or miracle stories or suggestions to adopt)

@hilariousnamehere thank you - that is lovely to hear

@Tumbler2121 haha, i got it right first time is great. Might try that next time round!

I was one and done by choice, and of course I have a ton of empathy for you as that's not what you wanted. But I really do suggest you channel my absolute 'fuck off you nosey mare' stare for those who stuck their noses in about 'when I was having number 2'. Or just keep saying 'pardon, I didn't hear you' and make them repeat themselves until they realise how incredibly intrusive a question that is. Women are the worst for it, and I just think we need to call it out and stop making it ok to ask deeply personal questions about other people's fertility.

I suspect you'd be able to make your peace with things a lot more quickly if you weren't being asked about it every 5 minutes too.