Is/was your second child the ‘troublemaker’?

[gabbagool]

Interested to hear who else has had the cliche ‘unruly’ second child?

My first born was a very easy toddler (although perhaps I look back with rose-tinted glasses), mild-mannered, easily distracted/negotiated out of a tantrum, ate whatever you put in front of her, played nicely with other kids. You get the jist.

My second born (22 months) is basically the opposite: destructive, boisterous, doesn’t listen, terrible eater, isn’t remotely nice to his sister etc etc. My husband and I joke that he’s the classic second child but is that an actual thing? Was your first born an angel compared to your second?!

I know, I wonder if there is something epigenetic at play to make people have a second. My dc1 is lovely, my dc2 omg, I won't detail the hard yards. He's almost an adult now. But if id had him first I would have been scared to have a second child.

It's not impossible that the womb somehow knows the levels of cortisol et cetera have an effect on a baby. And they have shown that in families with all boys, the youngest is most likely to be gay.

O the third

No, they're both lovely and get along great.

As much as I hate to say it other way round here. DS is rude, defiant, disobedient and disrespectful. The baby is so snuggly and sweet in contrast im struggling not to show favouritism.

I’m the difficult second in my family

My second child is easy.

My second is definitely more hard work than my first

I've never heard that said about a second child, but DC2 has been a handful since birth. Didn't sleep through the night for a year, wilful at 5years, very dramatic, competitive, you name it. An adult now and still a drama queen.😆

My second child was by far the easiest. I suspect that the distribution of 'troublemaker' versus 'easy child' across first, second, third, etc is completely random

Nope. My first is loud, boisterous, demanding and highly strung. My second is only small but seems very calm, mild natured and easy going. Both boys. I think inborn temperament plays more of a roll than birth order.

We’re six months behind you IIRC.

My DS is 3.3 and absolutely awful at the moment!

First born was a very gentle, calm, sweet child. Second child was unbelievably awful! Wilful, destructive, disruptive, tantrummed loudly and viciously, was always screaming or making other children scream. Third child was a dream. DC2 changed at puberty! Became calm, kind, studious and an absolute joy. All 3 are fantastic adults.

My first child lured us into a false sense of security. So we had our second and my god. He's the total opposite to his sister. Hence why we didn't go for a third haha

My second child is definitely the more chilled and content child. My eldest had a lot of emotions in his toddler years... 🙈
But both do them together can be hard work. I wonder if that's why people assume it's the second?

Hang on in there. DS1 is still hard but I’d say is maybe calming a little on the run into 4!? I would think parenting was piss easy if I had 2xDS2s, even though he doesn’t sleep….

This is us! Except I am now pregnant with no. 3 and starting to panic 😂

https://www.mother.ly/parenting/youre-not-imagining-it-second-children-are-more-likely-to-be-troublemakers/

I think most children are similar. We just have more time to dedicate to the first so we can deal with bad behaviour and they never have to compete for attention before second comes along. I'm probably more chilled with my second too as big age gap means I'm older. Finally, most people stop at 2 and say their last child was the reason they stopped. I'd imagine people who have more than 2 find their youngest harder than the older kids too

My second was definitely more demanding as a baby and toddler. Once she got to about 5, she chilled out a lot. She’s still harder to manage in some ways (fussy eater, more easily bored, less independent) but overall she’s really pretty easy now. She is much more emotionally mature and sensitive than her sister.

Opposite. Ds1 nearly broke me. Ds2 is easy.

My second is my easiest child by a country mile. My youngest, however, is a bloody nightmare.

So maybe it's a 'youngest' thing rather than a 'second child' thing?

My second was one half of twins - that 6 minutes made a huge difference - she is wild 😂

Not to a huge extent but then my number 2 DC is twins; although the older twin ( so my second child I suppose) is the lunatic of my three, although she has a lovely personality. She's rough around the edges and had the worst tantrums but is also the kindest , her feelings are all very big!

No, my second (now middle) was the easiest by far. All grown up now, so a long perspective on this. They've broadly required the same respective levels of parent input as adults as they did as children. Oldest the most, second the least, third is in between. I think you'll get all sorts of answers on this....family dynamics are varied and complex!

Same experience here 🤣

I'm a second child, I'm perfect. As is my second child - kind, conscientious, hard working, funny.

My third child could start an argument in an empty room, after he's trashed it.

My first is calm, compliant, studious, a bit aloof and- occasionally - a sulker (she's never raised her voice to me but she does do 'silent treatment'). She's 16 for reference and just like her father temperament-wise.

The second is hot-headed, argumentative, fiercely independent and a justice seeker (even when not her fight). She shouts, screams and throws things but she is also the most loving and cuddly creature. She's very much her mother's daughter.