Help I really do not know what to do.

[MumEll]

I have had quite an easy ride with my baby, he’s been so easy it’s unreal, but since he turned 10 weeks everything’s turned upside down. He’s refusing food, refusing naps, and crying/screaming all the time.
He usually ate 5oz every 3-4 hours, this has dropped significantly to around 2-3oz every 4-5hours sometimes later. Also whilst eating he’s acting like he’s in the most pain, he’s crying sometimes scream crying, stretching in a way to refuse the bottle and trying to kick us off him.
he sleeps really well in the night, we normally wake at 12am and then in-between 4&5am. However, in the day nap time is out the window even if he’s desperate for one. Yesterday he wanted to nap after only 20 minutes of being awake each time, but it’s so hard to get him down now, he ends up screaming the place down.

I don’t know what’s happened. I have noticed he isn’t pooing very much. He’s having 1 little poo a day, my partner has done the nappies the last two days though so I’m not 100% sure on the details, just it’s only been once and small and smelly.
I have also noticed him gulping a lot as if somethings come back up even a few hours after eating. We’ve gone down the reflux street before, once the first week he was born (apparently not reflux, just nose congestion lmao) and a second time around the 6 week mark where we were told it can’t be reflux because he isnt loosing weight. After this appointment we saw the midwife around 8 weeks and he had infant dropped the weight but not drastically.

I really don’t know what to do, I’m feeling like the worst mum in the world right now. However, I also feel like I can’t breath as he won’t be put down to nap. He’s constantly crying and I constantly feel like I’m in flight or fight. I’m dealing with this pretty much on my own too. My partner works and then when he’s home he’s too overwhelmed so now I’m breaking down, but he’s also not listening to me when I’m saying somethings not right.

so if anyone has any advice please, I’m all ears. I want to take him to the doctors but my partners been very closed minded and keeps saying “they’ll just dismissing us” - a reflection of the state of the NHS right now. I would call the HV but it’s the weekend so she’s not working.

Don’t worry, it sounds very normal , all babies have days like this. It does sounds like it could be reflux to me, or some kind of discomfort. Have you tried giving calpol? Or gripe water? Cycling his legs to encourage his digestion?

I'd go the docs, keep a record of what is happening when. He might need Lactulose or similar if he is not pooing as much as you think he should (although babies can go for several days without pooing, esp if bottle) He might have colic. Colic is horrible to deal with as a parent. My 4th baby had it, so I knew (having had 3 before) that it wasn't "normal" crying, he used to cry inconsolably for up to 4 hours a day (not continuous), every day from about 8 weeks until about 16 weeks, and would not settle at night. He was happy-ish if he was in my arms and I was stood rocking him, but obviously you cannot do this continually. We got a rocking swing eventually to use at night when we were trying to get him to go to sleep, and also bought a white noise CD which did help him fall asleep, but when they stopped, he would sometimes start up again. It is grim, but once you have ruled out all other things (intolerances (no issue if BF, but maybe if on formula), medical issues) it is what you are faced with. Infacol and gripe water had no effect. It does pass, often at around 16-20 weeks. We were getting around to "3 bad days in 7" at the 16 week phase. As an aside, was he early born? My first three were late, my last was 3 weeks early. People always told me it was because it was related to feeding, I am not convinced about this. I hope you have some luck in sorting it, or at least getting used to it for a while, you are a good mum and try not to worry xx

Crying during feeding was a sign of CMPA for us, combined with others along the way- unsettled, screaming at lying down, poor sleep, ring eczema patches on neck and traces of blood in poo. I wasn't listened to until this point as it become impossible to feed with all the crying, HV said feeding should be the most relaxing thing for them so the Dr finally listened. Weight gain had stopped too by then, approx 16 weeks. We were prescribed dairy free formula, had been EBF, and the change was incredible.

I had no they could go 7 days without pooping!! I was told they must go at least once a day and also didn’t know where he was putting all his milk lol 🫣
I did mention to my partner it could be comic, if he has him, he has to be standing up with him just walking around. If I have him I can usually settle him on the sofa, turned in, and tapping his lower back slowly & softly - but it does take ages.
it’s so overwhelming, especially when it’s nonstop.
only difference is he’s amazing in the night? At around 6/7 he’ll start screaming but when we go upstairs and settle him, he’ll sleep amazingly. We have a rocking swing, he used to love it but now it’s a nightmare trying to get him in it.

hopefully it’ll pass soon, but will deffo be ringing the doctor!

We tried gripe water when he has gas issues at around 8 weeks and it went horribly so been put off ever since - baby did not agree with it by the sounds of it.
we do the cycling a lot before & after feeding, helps him get his gas out and helps him eat a little bit better.
i did read around 11 weeks the start learning another big step and that can cause the 3Cs (crying, clingy, chanky) so I’m hoping it’ll pass, but reflux is standing out to me.

Okay, I’ll deffo contact the HV & doctor! We have similar symptoms just not the eczema or blood in stools. But the quote “feeding should be the most relaxing thing for them” said enough. I’m not going to allow them to dismiss us this time!

Sounds like reflux, and/or cows milk allergy. Are there any skin reactions or spots? If so then allergy.

There are things you can do to relieve the pain - wear in sling, keep upright (especially after feeds).

Good luck and remember this too shall pass.