Miss the ‘first baby’ feeling

[BT26x]

Is this really weird? Had my 2nd DC and it’s a little sad how many seem not to be as excited for them, and unfortunately I mean DH’s family really don’t seem arsed maybe because it’s our 2nd (and there’s some other kids in the family) but for DH I feel bad

my family are very excited and involved so it’s not tht

i feel like there’s a bit more support first time round? I’m 6 weeks pp now and I feel lots of pressure and I’m struggling with lack of sleep but I just don’t have anyone I can talk to or confide in

also the mum guilt is horrendous, I have so much guilt for my toddler worrying they’ll get upset at new sibling and wanting to keep their life as the same as it used to be
then guilt for my youngest as they haven’t had the 1-2-1 time my eldest got and constantly worrying and hoping they know I love them unconditionally :(

it’s just tough but I feel 1st time round there’s. A bit more of an adrenaline boost? Does this make sense ?? I felt a bit more like superwoman last time

I think I know a bit what you mean although personally I felt more anxious etc in the early weeks with my first than with my second. I already knew how to do the basics of baby care with DC2 which took a lot of the anxiety out of it all. Also for the most part the reason we got much fewer visitors and support second time round was due to illness. DC2 was an autumn baby and within a few days of birth, DC1 and DH both came down with a horrible viral illness. So obviously nobody wanted to come to our house and catch it, understandably. It was so shit though, we were so sleep deprived and I had a difficult birth with a birth injury and pain breastfeeding and DH felt so poorly himself but we still had to muddle through. Then once they were were finally recovered there was a fair amount of bugs around extended family given the time of year and of course nobody would visit a newborn with an illness and so on. I actually felt like we could have done with the practical support more second time around too tbh because of DC1 - we needed to feed them so couldn't just eat shite like in the early weeks of their birth, I had an even longer/more painful/more complicated recovery after DC2's birth where I was going back to the hospital 1-2 times a week for 4 weeks, DC1 needed attention, we had more mess, more laundry and all that given we had DC1 as well. But it was mostly just unfortunate for us rather than that people weren't so bothered. I think the fact that DC2 was a different sex actually weirdly drummed up interest in them that probably wouldn't have been there otherwise tbh.

I'm pregnant with no.3 and now we also have a niece and nephew on both sides of our family so I reckon people won't be arsed about this one frankly. We will manage, hopefully won't be so unlucky as we were with DC2.

I found DC2s first 3 months tough because I felt so sad about my bond with dc1 was totally lost and it would all be ruined (spoilers, it was fine) and I didn't bond with dc2 for several months. It all got better though. We had 0 help or support for both so that was pretty comparable.