Tips for first residential

[Misscloudycat]

DS9 has his first residential coming up next week. He has never stayed away from home, although we had hoped to do this before the trip a number of factors meant this didn't happen.
He's quiet at school but has lots of friends and seems confident about it, but I'm wondering if anyone has any tips that may help whilst he is there?
I was wondering about slipping a discrete note into his bag so if he wets the bed he can pass it to a teacher (it's highly unlikely this will happen but I'm just thinking of the things that could go wrong)

Any tips at all?

I wouldn’t put that note in his bag, it may get found by the others.

Make sure he helps pack (even if you sort it all out in advance) so he absolutely knows what he has with him.
A bin bag or similar for wet/dirty clothes.
A small cuddly toy if desired, he can keep it hidden if need be.

Thanks, good thought.

Great idea about getting him to help pack, thank you. Luckily all of his friends have already had a chat about cuddly toys and all agreed they will take one each

And name absolutely everything.

and don’t fuss, your anxiety about this will make him anxious when he’s probably fine and looking forward to it

I'm definitely more anxious than he is!!

I have read about some parents doing a carrier bag's worth of clothes for each day - pants, socks, shirts, trousers to encourage clean clothes. Don't know how well it works though!

Follow the school instructions on what to take/ not to take.
If they say no sweets, don't try and slip some in - there will be a good reason!

If you put the idea that he will be nervous to him he will be maybe have more faith in him?

Agree with PPs, clothes stacked by day helps.
Take his own pillow.
Dont transmit your anxiety to him.
My DD couldn’t sleep on the first night but honestly after that they’re so busy they’re too tired to feel homesick.
Has your class teacher organised for them to have a letter from home to open halfway through?

No, they aren't doing letters. I'm trying very hard to make sure he doesn't pick up on my anxiety whilst giving space for him to share if he's worried.
I like the idea of clothes packs for each day.
They haven't banned anything like sweets and he's organised with his friends to be in charge of "entertainment" so bringing a pack of cards or similar which I doubt they will have time to use!

Don't do the note. Don't do anything sentimental to make you feel better.

I worked at PGL for a few years, and the amount of kids that would be buzzing on arrival, only to opentheir case to a note from Mum and then burst into tears and say they were homesick.

That's really good advice. Thank you

I wouldn't pack his clothes by the day for him. The whole point of a residential is that children learn some independence and resilience. Let him choose what to put on according to the weather & activities being done that day. Just make sure he has a waterproof bag to put his dirty washing in.

If the school has given you a list of essentials to take, let him do as much of the packing as possible. He'll be unpacking and packing his bag on his own while away. Don't pack any luxuries eg his own pillow unless school has them on the list.

I've led lots of residential trips with primary children and it's wonderful to see them flourish. They usually end up wet, tired and hungry at some point but they survive together. Do try to keep telling he'll be fine so you don't transfer your anxiety to him.

Between now and then, think of all the things he could be doing for himself at home that you do for him and try to build his confidence and independence.

My 9 year old did his first residential a few weeks ago. (2 nights away)

We stuck to the packing list that school provided- and I made him pack it all in the case so he knew where things were. We just kept it as a pile of pants, socks, t shirts etc.
I did include a clean pair of pjs for each night.

Definitely a bin bag for wet/muddy clothes.

He took his own pillow and a huge teddy. And some games which they played in the lodge each evening whilst they had hot chocolate. We sent one snack type item which was shared (in my case I sent 15 mini packs of cookies). A lot of these came back to school for them to eat in class in the days that followed there was so much!

Honestly- he had THE BEST time.
They were kept busy from dawn to dusk so were knackered and they did sleep.
The teachers have done it all before and they know the situation so trust them.

He still talks about the trip now!

I'm so glad I posted, thank you for all the tips.

I’ve taken brownies and guides away on camp before. The biggest worry most of them had was getting their sleeping bag back in its bag. We let them have a go, and step in if necessary. As a consequence I’m quite the pro at sleeping bag folding!

Pack spare pjs, and a bag he can put wet clothes in, and tell him to tell the teacher he spilt his water bottle on his bed if he wets it (have a discrete word with the teachers beforehand so they are aware and don't tell him off)

Make sure he takes his own pillow and if he has a fleece blanket or similar for his bed, takes that too. Ditto a dressing gown or onesie if he has one. Home comforts.

Otherwise, pack him a ton of sweets and let him have a wonderful time!

I'm a primary teacher and am in charge of our residentials. Packing together and following the kit list is really good, that way they know which clothes they have to wear. Label everything!
I tell our children to put their cases under their own beds so they stand a far better chance of keeping their own stuff together. Carrier bags for wet or dirty clothes another essential.
We encourage the children to bring a teddy, a book and something like pencils and a notebook. We definitely don't allow any sweets/choc/snacks as they don't need them.
I ask parents if there are any particular needs like bed wetting, routines etc. All extra info is really appreciated.
They have a brilliant time on residential and tend to all come back more resilient and organised.

No, they aren't doing letters.

Good. Letters, calls, texts from home are a guaranteed way to instantly induce homesickness in children who had previously been perfectly fine and happy.

Be calm and relaxed and he will be. Wave him off with a bright and breezy "have a great time, see you on <whenever day>" - don't tell him you'll miss him or drag it out or get weepy or anxious.

We did the outfit in a bag and both DC really liked it and tend to almost do that themselves now they're teens and pack for themselves.
The most important thing I drummed into them was to keep wet and dry separate and to turn their coat the right way around and hang it up but to think about what it was hanging over.
Put the towel at the bottom. It most probably won't get used!

Oh - and remind them that everyone might be a bit anxious, homesick and tired , everyone will have their own habits which might be really weird to you and to be kind and understanding but also stand up for yourself and that you can tell the teacher if you're getting upset or struggling.

Is he actually likely to wet the bed? If so, I'd talk to him ahead about strategies to avoid it and mention it discreetly as a possibility to the teacher. Don't do the note.

Do the packing together so he knows what he has and where it is. DS used to come home with a bag full of clean clothes, having worn the same thing all week and claimed he didn't know he had anything else 😭

Bin bags for wet and dirty stuff.

Brings back memories of school trips! Sleeping bag stuffing was a nightmare!