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Parenting

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ADVICE NEEDED FOR TOXIC EX

4 replies

Jean2003 · 01/03/2024 14:18

Hey sorry it's long just really need advice, so from November my ex hasn't seen our daughter due to his binging on beer and coke and it basically messing his life up, was the same in our relationship but he got very aggressive and abusive with me. Since November he has been abusive with me and threatening behaviour. He has never shown this behaviour towards our daughter, a couple weeks a go decided he could see her supervised and it went fine and has seen her a few times. He asked to have her on his own for a few hours today but I've woke up to a message that he is busy and will pick her up first thing tomorrow!! I am fuming, he was obviously out his face last night and probably still is, so nothing changes at all. I would think that someone that's not had his daughter for nearly 4 months would clear his schedule or get stuff done before or do tomorrow. I just want don't know where I stand or if anyone has been in this situation? This is how it will be constantly and I don't want it. Those four months without him was so peaceful and freeing. Can I just stop contact? I mean there has been a lot happen. We had social services involved, numerous police call outs because of his behavior the same with his other baby mum as well, I have since found out he was done for domestic abuse in court. I give chance after chance as I like to see the good in people and also separate what he did to me with him seeing our daughter but honestly it's all draining and I don't want it, any advice welcome, thank you x

OP posts:
cheeseandketchupsandwich · 01/03/2024 14:32

See a solicitor. Get a formal arrangement in place

How old is your DD?

Jean2003 · 01/03/2024 14:38

Thank you for replying. She is 3 and yeah I will up for an appointment and go from there. I just want to have little to do with him as possible

OP posts:
Queijo · 01/03/2024 14:39

You can absolutely stop contact. And I would encourage you to.

If he wants to see his daughter he’ll have to go through the court process, so make sure you keep all evidence you have of him being a waste of space!

I wouldn’t message him/contact him. If he asks to see his daughter tell him to contact a solicitor as you’ll only speak through them.

Jean2003 · 01/03/2024 14:49

Queijo · 01/03/2024 14:39

You can absolutely stop contact. And I would encourage you to.

If he wants to see his daughter he’ll have to go through the court process, so make sure you keep all evidence you have of him being a waste of space!

I wouldn’t message him/contact him. If he asks to see his daughter tell him to contact a solicitor as you’ll only speak through them.

Thank you for your reply. Yeah I am starting to write everything down, there are loads of messages and voice notes/voicemails. He has a long history of treating women awful. I have blocked him but he can still leave voicemails and has said he is coming to mine tonight. I'm just on edge all the time and don't feel like I can live my life x

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