Child’s weight

[Helpme2015]

My 8 year old daughter is overweight and it’s really impacting her self confidence.
She has gained a lot of weight gradually over the past 4 years, and is now struggling to fit in age 12-13 clothes. I’m sure it is down to portion size, she wants adult size meals and always finishes them. She’s not a big snacker.
She has said other children comment on her weight, and is really upset and trying to hold her stomach in.
Ive not said anything in the past as I saw her gain weight, as I liked that she loved her food and also I didn’t want to make her self conscious, and have always been big on telling her she’s beautiful etc and being supportive. She loves to wear crop tops and was self confident but I can’t help but think these only highlight her tummy but don’t know how to say this to her without upsetting her, and that maybe there’s different tops she can wear that will compliment her figure.
We’ve spoke about making healthier choices and I’m trying to give her smaller portions/food that helps to keep her fuller for longer, and she has ADHD so generally never sits still and does 5 x1.5 hour activities a week so I don’t think exercise is an issue!
Ive also spoke with the school about children who say anything about her weight and they are going to sort this.

How else can I approach this with her and help her?
Should she aim to lose weight or just not gain anymore?
Should I chat about clothes that will compliment her more?
Please help!

Well done for trying to action this now.

The best approach is healthy meals with appropriate portions. No snacks at all is best but if she really wants snacks make them healthy - carrot/cucumber sticks, an apple etc.

More exercise will help too - family walks. Maybe try kids park run or a sport too.

Don't buy any junk into the house. No crisps, sweets, fizzy drinks etc. maybe once a week let her have a 'treat' but otherwise just keep everything in the house healthy.

I agree with addressing the portion sizes, gradually. If you do it all at once she might get hungry and start snacking.

The Caroline Walker Trust has some useful information on portion sizes here.

I'd also recommend on focusing on you wanting to be more healthy.

I dont have any advice on the weight loss but.... if she is breathing her tummy in she is at risk of giving herself Rib flair when she is older

I have sucked in my stomach all my life ( before finding out the damage it did! ) and I have horrific Rib flair.

My daughter is 9 and has also gained a little weight, she told me ahout sucking her tummy in and I have stressed that she isnt to do that and showed her my ribs

I think its important not to focus on her weight but look at portion sizes as well as if she needs more protein to keep her fuller. Sounds like shes getting plenty of exercise as well as not being a big snacker.

I mean, some kids are just going to be bigger. So I would work on the fact that her body is beautiful, and strong, and that moving our bodies in fun ways is great for us.

Dont mention the crop top.

My nephew has ADHD and is also overweight. But he is sensory seeking (part of his diagnosis) which means food gives him that dopamine rush which ADHDers love. It's really hard. He eats less when he's on his meds, but then he misses eating so hates being on his meds 😄 Bless him.
Might be worth figuring out if its the dopamine hit she's getting from food, and trying to find some way to replace that. I get it though, it's hard.

Apart from the 5 sports sessions she does a week, does she do much unscheduled movement? I'm thinking walking to school, playing in the garden and playground trips.

I don't think I she should wear baggy clothes to cover her up. She should continue to wear what she likes to. At 8 years old, they don't have a figure to show off like you would as an adult.

She might lose weight naturally with a growth spurt or puberty. When I was little they called it puppy fat (not ideal!) and I lost it with loads of dance classes.

I think you should look at specific advice as people with ADHD can often over eat due to sensory seeking or to fulfil an emotional need so your approach would need to be different.

if she eats well I would try reducing calories dense food with less calories dense. Eg reduce pasta portion and add in roast veg, grate apple into porridge to increase volume without the cals. She won’t notice a reduction in portions this way.

i would let her wear what she wants and what she is comfortable in.

Children should be active for a minimum of 7 hours across the week and this would include walking, play and sport. Does she do much outside of her scheduled activity?

Also look at protein rich foods and ADHD.

It might sound a bit silly but I’d buy smaller dinner plates. She can still eat a full plate but will reduce her portion size.