Very small 7 year old

[ConstantastheNorthernStar]

I am hoping that the wise Mumsnet hivemind can offer some reassurance - or advice if I am wrong. DH is very concerned that our daughter is too small and skinny and that this is because I am too strict about food - specifically by cooking mostly from scratch rather than oven pizza etc. She is 7 in June and is 118cm tall and about 19kg. It's very obvious that she's the smallest in her class - however, both DH and I are small (5'5 and 5'3 respectively, and both slim). She is also visibly quite wiry, but to my (maybe biased) eye she doesn't look unhealthy.

Typical food intake is:

Breakfast: cereal and toast during the week, pancakes with fruit and honey at the weekend

Lunch: school dinner during the week, usually a cheese toastie or sandwich at the weekend.

Dinner: homemade chicken stew with rice, veg stir fry with noodles, frittata with potatoes and veg, fish pie, vegetable curry with rice, etc. Dessert is usually fruit plus a small treat like a small chocolate bar. I've tried yoghurt but she hates it. She normally has a pasta bowl-sized serving and eats most of it (I always offer her more if she finishes it, but she rarely asks for extra).

We are not super strict about snacks - if she asks, she can have fruit, crackers, cheese, etc, sometimes a pastry or cake depending where we are.

She is active but not excessively so - does swimming, multi sports and drama after school during the week, plus we are active as a family at the weekend. But it's not like she is doing 10 hours of gymnastics. However I think she is at least averagely physically capable - loves indoor climbing and ice skating, can swim 400m easily, loves riding her bike etc. I think she has plenty of energy. She's also very bright and doing well at school.

DH is convinced that kids grow up tall and strong on junk food and that her diet is abnormal. I think it's...fine? Not especially strict? Certainly I don't think my cooking is low fat; I use plenty of olive oil, coconut milk etc. But it's a version of an argument we've been having since she was tiny and he was obsessed with giving her formula, and I worry that I am not rational about it. Basically, does it sound like I am too strict? Or is DH bonkers because he ate too many Findus crispy pancakes as a child?

Ooh Findus crispy pancakes yum I used to eat those! Love them!

I don't think she's particularly short op...118cm puts her just under the 50th centile I think?

Ds3 is 7 in May and 126cm tall. He's visibly one of the taller boys in his class and many of the girls are half a head shorter than him...sounds like your dd would be about the same by comparison?

Her diet and all her activities sound absolutely fine. Some kids are little for a long time and then suddenly tall.

Our DC arrived prem - he was smallest in school, oldest in Reception class. Always 2 yrs behind in clothes sizes. Even when he got some height in Yr10 he was still in age 13 extra long trs. All of a sudden he caught up. I should add that we never eat chicken nuggets, fish fingers or crispy pancakes. Avoid the last of those as they are packed with allergens and stuff that will mess up your digestive health. I’m sure your DC will reach a good height and weight and being petite is just fine.

I'm sorry! Your husband thinks kids grow tall and strong from eating junk food. Does he not know anything about nutrition? Your daughter sounds like mine(also 7, slim, and smallest in her class). She is just naturally slim, and there is nothing wrong with being short.

Similar to my 7 year old. Have you looked at the centile charts in the red book? Or checked the NHS child BMI calculator, I just did this and they are within the healthy weight range.

At 8 I was the same size as my 4 year old sister. My mum took me to the GP who said you are 5ft4 your husband is 5ft6 she's never going to be tall. As adults I am 5ft2 and that sister is 5ft 3 and still share clothes so child hood sizes didn't relate to adult sizes. As babies I was always on the 2nd percentile and my other sister didn't reach the 0.4th percentile until she was 1. She is now the tallest of the 3 of us at 5ft4. Her daughter by comparison is already taller than her aged 13.

My daughter by contrast is on the 1st percentile for height and 25th for weight. She gets weighed and measured every 3 months due to food allergies and reflux. She's 3 and currently in some 12-18 months clothes but mostly 18-24months. Given my size the drs are concerned, my partner is 5ft11. Even at 3.5 she is a good 3-4 inches shorter than most of the other children in her nursery. There are a few that are closer to her size but she's the smallest. She's going to go to school aged 4y3w so she will absolutely be the smallest in the class as she's going to be one of the youngest as well as being on a very low percentile.

I think it would be worth an appointment with the GP just for a once over. It might be worth just double checking there's nothing like coeliacs disease as an underlying cause.

My dd is 9.5 years old and only a few cm taller than your dd. We her parents are taller than you as well. My dd is just over three stone. She is short for her age just at the 2nd centile

What's worrying you?

she sounds like she’s not too tiny for a 6 year old. What percentile is she on?

being a summer baby she will look smaller than lots of the others because she’s younger too

Sorry let me get this straight - your 5ft 4 dh, who grew up on junk food, thinks it makes kids tall.... Is he aware of his height....?

So she's on what, about the 25th centile on height, 9th on weight? That's not a problem. And overfeeding on junk food causes children to grow up obese, which causes them to be taller in childhood, go into puberty earlier, stop growing sooner, and end up as shorter fatter adults.

She sounds fine OP. My DS was tall for his age, but was a similar height and weight combination to your DD (although at a younger age). He's now a tall healthy 18yo (still skinny).

He's mad if he thinks high calorie but low density nutrition foods are the key to achieving full growth potential.
Her genetic inheritance is the decider then quality nutrition is key to how much of her height potential she achieves.
Quality home cooked food is perfect. I'm baffled how anyone could conclude differently much less complain about your approach when you will be helping her have healthy food habits for life.
Processed foods are behind many modern disease profiles.

Sounds to me he's got a cup on his shoulder about height. He can sod off laying the blame for that at your door!

All my DDs are small, my 11yo (12 next month) still fits in to her sisters 7/8 jeans & shorts, is about 9yo on top. They all eat way too much crap, processed and sugary foods. Two out of 3 won’t even eat a vegetable or piece of fruit, the third one lives off fruit and veg would prefer to eat a big bowl of salad over anything else for dinner, she’s exactly the same size as her sisters at that age.

Your DDs diet sounds very health and measured, I wish I could get my older 2 onto a diet like that.

Your Daughters food intake and exercise is almost identical to my 6 and half year old daughter. She is the tallest in her class so that throws DHs junk food theory out the window.

You’re feeding your daughter great! It’s sounds like height may be due to nature rather than nurture.

She sounds perfectly fine. My daughter was 118cm and 18.5 kg on her 7th birthday and our paediatrician was very happy with her. Don’t worry.

Dd will be 7 in August. She’s 117cm currently & weighed 18.5kg a few weeks ago (GP appointment). She is tiny, skinny but never sits still, very sporty & eats like a sparrow. She was tiny at birth though (0.2centile) so she sounds fine. Your daughters diet sounds great.

That sounds fine. You are both small so she's likely not going to be very tall either - I'm only 5ft 1 and I can't imagine I was any bigger than that age 7, I ate very small amounts and was very skinny but I wasn't unhealthy. And the food sounds fine as well, make sure DH doesn't give her a complex.

Does DH have a bit of a chip on his shoulder about his height? I know some men who are under average height are very self conscious about it. But really I don't think being short is very problematic if you're a woman (and shouldn't be if you're a man either, but I don't make the rules!) so it's not something to worry about. I personally forget I'm really short unless I'm standing in the middle of a crowd!

She’s a normal height isn’t she? Taller than my 6 year old! And her diet sounds great, similar sort of food to my dc.

If I've got her DoB about right - June 2017 the NHS BMI puts her on 8 centile - and that's healthy.
It's where my teenager has sat since forever. Buying trousers for him is a nightmare. But he is healthy and fit and strong. And eats everything and anything.
Like your daughter, he has 2 small-ish parents (although my waist isn't small).
Someone has to sit on the lower centiles. And add to that an ever growing group of overweight kids, and it makes perfectly healthy kids look very scrawny and small. They aren't. They are healthy.
She's active. She's healthy.
She eats well.
Sounds like a success to me.

In fairness, he blames that on his mother smoking!

No offence, but he doesn't sound like the sharpest tool in the box.

He has a PhD, just not in anything terribly useful!

Well, it wasn't posted in AIBU but I am taking this thread as definitive proof that I am not the unreasonable one here.