Absolute despair!

[Strawberry06]

It's 2am and I've been feeding my 5 day old since 9pm.

He keeps falling asleep at the breast but the moment I put him down he wakes up screaming again biting his hands and grunting. Also managed to get him to fall asleep in me but again, soon as his head touches the crib he wakes up.

Is he still hungry?

Or could it be he hates his crib?

At my wits end and he's not even a week old!

So just an update here we are at 1pm and he's just screaming again, won't even settle on me.

I had absolutely no sleep last night and several crying episodes today, I can't even feel my eyes.

I haven't mentioned that when he was born he was jaundiced and had to go under the lamp. When my milk came in he was so sleepy during the day and wouldn't take it. The hospital said I had to top up with formula. I feel this may have killed our bf journey and he just isn't getting enough from me and the screaming is cause he's hungry? Though he doesn't scream during the day. And my friend said it's just total normal newborn behaviour and switching to formula won't necessarily change it. So I don't know what to do for the best really.

He's just constantly reaching out with his open mouth, shaking his head side to side, grunting and chewing his hands (and screaming) which seem like feeding cues but he's too adjutated for my breast.

Virtual hugs.

I tried bf and also had to top up when in hospital (due to gestational diabetes and babies sugars)

He completely turned on the boob. Screaming when I tried to latch. They said he had gotten bottle preference as it's easier for them and my choice was to pump and keep supply .
honestly, at 4am I gave in and said I am not bf anymore and switched to formula from that point. He was much better and no screaming.

Now over 3 weeks and he has suspected cmpa (poop issues) and we have had to go onto rice milk. I do wonder if that had anything to do with it but I am probably overthinking.
He is a decent sleeper and doesn't cry much.

It must be so hard as there is no way to tell if that's babies temperament or not.

sorry not really any advice here just ramblings x

At 5 days old it is possible your milk hasn't come in fully yet, but if the hv has advised to top up with formula then why hot try it and see if it helps?

One bottle won't kill your bf journey!

@Mangotango39 I remember you from the feb babies group! So sorry you're going through issues too.

He does feed off me ok during the day but I just wonder is he getting enough.

I had a visit from a BF support person today (yesterday) and she seemed to think I should be squirting milk at this stage (I squeeze and only a bit comes out) but she also said he wouldn't stay on as long if he wasn't getting anything. I just feel he's frustrated! Maybe I just don't have enough milk. Some women don't I know my mum and granny didn't, maybe it's hereditary?

I really don't know. My head says switch to formula but my heart says don't give up.

Please don't think this is the end of your breastfeeding journey!

My baby lost more than 10% birth weight so I have always 'topped up' my breastfeeds with formula.

It took a while but we have a nice little routine now , baby is 5 months.

You can absolutely do both if you want to!

Your supply will take weeks to regulate and establish.

Just to say if you do want to/need to combi feed, don't let it mess with your head. I think I was tricked until thinking my supply wasn't enough as she'd always sink a bottle after a breastfeed. But you don't hold a bottles worth in your boobs, that's why they feed so much more often on the boob than a bottle!

Keep going, let your supply establish and don't worry if you use formula!

Just tried to put him in his crib after a long stint crashed out on my chest, lasted all of 3 minutes before he was on the verge of screaming so picked him out only for him to fall flat out on my chest again! I'm propped up in bed with a million pillows so I can't move with the most terrible headache I just need to shut my eyes so bad 😩

Hopefully you asleep and won't see this until the morning, but incase your still up wanted to say it's entirely normal but also incredibly difficult, and your doing amazingly just getting through it. It does get easier!

Mine would only contact nap, so I ended up co-sleeping at night, then carrying them round in the sling for day naps. Not ideal, but we got through. In the morning look up safe co sleeping, far better to do it in a planned way then risk passing out with baby from exhaustion.

@Sprogonthetyne wide awake. He's screaming in his crib cause I decided to try out him down again. He was getting incredibly sweaty on my chest so was worried about him overheating

Aw bless you, the first weeks are so intense.

Put warm cloths on, then take the pillows and quilt off the bed and lie him on the mattress next to you. If you keep one arm round or on him, he'll probably stay asleep but won't be as sweaty or worried about him falling off your chest if you doze off. You can put a blanket over your legs, as long as you don't pull it up above waste height.

Or try breastfeeding lying down. If he falls asleep already on the bed, you don't need to risk waking when you put him down. Even if you don't get a proper sleep, you can doze and be lying down while he feeds.

Sending hugs as my first week was like this with no sleep at all. I was honestly running on fumes and crying all the time as I had not slept at all.

it does get easier, I promise.

with the fussing at the boob, crying etc - that is the natural process that tells your boobs to produce milk. So it’s normal to make your milk supply come in. The body is amazing and every time your boobs sense your baby crying at them, they get the signal to produce milk!

so even if it’s feeling like you don’t have enough milk, you do! Your body knows exactly what to do. Just keep going.

even tonight my baby cried at my boobs and they started leaking straight away.

try formula if you need to, but keep trying with bf if you want to, it’s magical and I love it, despite a difficult first few weeks with pain/ supply/ engorgement.

So sorry you’re having a tough time with it.

my daughter was like this, I do think she was hungry, she was a small baby and had an unusual sort of tongue tie (anterior?) which was missed at first. I tried so hard with bf’ing. Ended up exhausted and I look back and think I should have just tried some formula top ups and got some rest.

you can feel so much pressure with feeding - but fed is best, whatever way, and you getting some rest is so important.

make use of any support you have around you. A few bottles of formula might just help get you through and you can always pump if you feel you need to stimulate supply once you’re rested.

whatever you do - this will
pass and it will get easier. Do what’s right for you and baby.

I truly sympathise - the early days are both exhausting and terrifying!

Just something I thought I'd mention in case it helps is a dummy. My DD had a really strong need to suck but not for food. I was against dummies at the start but my midwife suggested it. She told me some babies just suck for comfort and get the same input from a dummy. I was worried about baby not replacing feeding with the dummy but she said ( almost certainly correctly!) that a baby can tell the difference and if they're hungry they'll reject the dummy!

Personally it made a big difference and helped DD sleep better and gave me a break with DD not on me. It didn't interfere with our breastfeeding and I fed exclusively until she weaned and continued through to 18 months.

Of course your circumstances might be different, especially if you have supply concerns, but I would at least consider it. I honestly didn't think I'd be a dummy parent, but she only ever used it for sleeping and her speech and dentition are great now.

You do sound like you are struggling - do try to get some support from your partner. They can hold the baby even if it's crying while you get some sleep. You have to be able to rest too!

Good luck!

You can’t go on like this OP.
Give him some formula and a dummy and let your partner take over for the day/night.
You are recovering from giving birth and need to rest. Dont make yourself ill trying to EBF.
It doesn’t have to be the end of breastfeeding.

At 5 days do you have a partner that can do a night shift comforting baby? They’re used to hearing a heartbeat constantly. That’s why they settle on chests. If your partner can do a decent stint at night so you can rest that might help?

Babies place their milk order for the next day, so will be suckling when there isn’t milk to stimulate supply. That’s why formula can interrupt the process in the early days but id not hesitate to give a bit of formula to see if it settles him for a decent enough stint.

You’ve multiple threads running, OP, with updates scattered all over the place. :-/

I think quite often with this the advice you get from a breastfeeding expert is very different to this. Women are designed to support all sizes of babies (the more milk taken, the more produced) and babies are designed to sleep very lightly and wake. There can be issues with milk production but these tend to be more solvable than we’ve been taught to think.

Oh gosh, i remember getting stuck in an endless cycle with DD where she would feed, fall asleep, poo and wake up and want another feed.
That once went on ALL night.

Yes, it sucks, and yes, it does end!

Hi OP, hope you are ok and have managed a little bit of rest.
What you are describing is absolutely normal. Babies brains are hard wired to keep themselves safe ie with their mum. Perfectly normal for a newborn to wake as soon as they are put down. Really normal for babies to wake loads in the night, it's protective against sudden infant death.
So all normal but not easy for us. Maybe have a read up on the fourth trimester. I think it is easier if you know it's normal so you're not necessarily trying to fix something that doesn't need fixing.
If baby is doing ok weight wise and you are getting enough wees and poos for his age then feeding is going ok. Cluster feeding for hours is normal. If you are in pain or baby is not gaining weight etc reach out to some local breastfeeding support.
Have a look at laid back breastfeeding and also breast compressions if you aren't sure baby is actually feeding for long. They need loads of time hanging around near your breasts to be able to learn how to feed.
Offer loads of Skin to skin, get your feet up, stay in bed, snooze when you can, rinse and repeat. It will soon ease off and he will get better at being put down as he develops.

just checking in, how are you x

DS had severe jaundice at birth I was advised to keep waking him up if he fell asleep at the breast until he’d fed for 30-40 mins. Also if they are too warm they fall asleep, so we used to strip him down to his nappy to feed and just prodded him to stay awake. The problem with jaundice is that they are often too sleepy to be bothered to feed, they then don’t have the energy to feed. During the day try keeping him awake while feeding, he’ll start to take more milk which will give him the energy he needs to feed and also stimulate your supply. Feed as much as you can during the day so his body clock fits yours. For the first 6 weeks it’s hard work but then things settle down.

I was lucky to have one to one support in hospital for 10days due to DS’s jaundice. I learnt so much from the midwives.

If you can try to feed lying on your side. This was a game changer for me as I can just fall asleep and baby can feed in a safe position. It is hard especially as you will have had the massive drop in hormones.

You are doing a great job

Make sure that you are drinking a lot of water. Have you got a sling that you or your husband could put the baby in to keep him close? Try doing firm gentle pats on his bottom to simulate your heartbeat as that would have been a constant in his life up to a couple of days ago

EBF is so so hard in those first few weeks but is worth it in the long run if it’s important to you. There’s no shame in switching to formula if you want to.

But otherwise adding in formula feeds before your supply regulates really will make it harder in the long run (unless you pump to replace the feed but then that’s adding to your workload with the washing!). It is very very rare for women to not make enough milk if exclusively bf. The problem is when you start adding formula in and a dummy or don’t feed to demand. You’ll get in a vicious circle where you’ll think you don’t have enough so too uo with formula but then you’re missing out on that extra stimulation so won’t make as much the next day so top up and so on.

As others have said, read up on 4th trimester. They reckon we should have a much longer gestation period but don’t because of the head size so it makes sense that they are so ridiculously needy (and useless 😂) at first.

My second is now 8 weeks and wirh both of them I coslept. Hats off to people who persevere with the cot but with both my girls cosleeping has been the key to a good nights sleep.

You’re doing really well and it will get better soon.