Newborn - what's your nighttime set up?

[msp2023]

DH has just started work again after paternity leave. He leaves home at 7.30am and gets back at 7pm. Works on his feet all day, needs a lot of mental concentration at work or could cause serious harm to patients.

We decided he would sleep in a separate bedroom on nights when he has work the next day (ie Sunday - Thurs nights and every other Fri). I feel this is fair because baby is up every 2h and this would seriously impact his working day.

Combi feeding at the moment so it's a bit tricky with BF and making a bottle up whilst baby is hangry but trying to get used to it.

I just wanted to know what other families did during this period and how you split the night shifts with baby :)

Honestly? I'd EBF
Would make your life easier

I kindly request that you think twice before posting unsolicited advice. There may be a specific reason (and there is) that I am not EBF and it is a sensitive topic.

That really wasn't the topic of conversation here so not sure why you felt the need to comment that.

Used pre-made formula cartons.
Working partner took baby 8pm til midnight, parental leave partner slept, then working partner slept in separate room. Allowed the primary carer one chunk of undisturbed sleep.

DH left for work by 6am every day so he slept separately and I did nighttime stuff.

On Saturday night he slept with the baby and I had the spare bed.

I didn’t EBF though so night time wake ups were usually just once and I got two decent stretches either side so it wasn’t too awful.

I ff fed so as our baby only woke once for about 10 mins to feed I did it, then slept through soon after

Op you are asking what people do people will reply if you are that sensitive to the way people reply a forum is an odd place to post

Thanks all.

Just a note - I was asking what people do in terms of splitting the night shifts. I was not asking for advice or recommendations re: feeding regimes. Think that's pretty simple.
Does not mean I am 'sensitive', just that the specific topic for a new mum can be sensitive.

He are you making the bottles? They can be kept in the fridge for up to 24 hours so we make in advance and then microwave for 30 seconds (and shake vigorously to get rid of any hot spots).

My DS is a month old. I’m breastfeeding mainly but he has 1 or 2 bottles a day. We also have a toddler so DH gets him up and ready in the mornings and I stay in bed if the baby has gone back to sleep for a bit.

DH sleeps in the spare room all nights at the moment, not just when he has work the next day. It means he’s well rested so if I’ve had a really bad night I can wake him up and give him the baby in the early hours of the morning.

Usually if the baby is still awake when I want to go to bed (about 9pm) DH keeps him downstairs, gives him a bottle and then brings him up asleep later before going to bed himself. And he’ll take the baby downstairs early in the morning too at weekends so I can get some extra sleep.

I’m not finding it too bad this time but my first DS was a very bad sleeper - DH used to have him downstairs until midnight sometimes and I would go to bed at about 7 and try to get some sleep before having the baby for the rest of the night.

The thing is, feeding and sleeping are so intertwined.

I mix feed between breast, expressed and formula. This is pertinent to my 3 month old’s sleep as my partner gives her formula in evening to fill her up and then she sleeps from around 7.30pm until about 1am. We co-sleep so I then breast feed her at 1am, 4am and 7am and she doesn’t even fully wake up until 7am, so unless I play on my phone, I am only awake for 15 mins each time and there’s no faffing about and i am no more disturbed than if I were popping to the loo in the middle of the night. When she was tiny, my dp slept in another room. Now she’s very robust, he’s back in our bed.

my dp tends to take her in the morning for 45 mins so I can sleep/rest until around 8am on weekdays and 10.30am on weekends.

On nights he Hasn’t given her kendamil in the evening, she wakes up earlier and more frequently.

We tried a snoo, a bed nest and a next to me. We have managed to get her to sleep in the next to me for the first shift each evening but otherwise she’s happiest bed sharing and breast feeding as she gets the best sleep that way.

I agree that ready-made kendamil is the way forward. No buggering about with mixing and heating and cooling etc etc. However, I find breast feeding works best In middle of the night as the bottle wakes her up too much, whereas the boob allows her to dream feed and then no one fully wakes up.

so feeding and sleeping are completely interrelated. You also have to consider your own sleep habits. I’m terrible in the mornings but fine waking up in the middle of the night. My dp is awful waking up in the middle of the night, but is bright eyed and bushy tailed from 6/7am and hates lie ins, so we developed a sleep and feeding regime that works for us.

I combi-fed too. I cannot tell you how much I loved my perfect prep machine! It is absolutely worthwhile. It takes two minutes to make a bottle at the correct temperature.

Other than that, it gets easier as you begin to recognise the feeding cues earlier. As they get older, babies develop their own set of cues and if you pay attention, you will learn them and have a head start on getting things ready.

Routine is your friend. X

Sorry, I posted before your update.

We had a next to me crib and then co-slept. I did most of the night shifts but DH did help out too. There were a few occasions when he would sleep in the spare room if he needed to be particularly on the ball the next day. But mostly we did it together.

Interesting to note that DH’s initial thoughts were that he would get the baby from the crib, I would feed, he would return the baby to the crib. This is what he had done with his ex and older kids. I think he really loved the next to me crib and was happy to stay in bed but be awake to provide moral support and the odd bottle.

I do the night time feeds and my husband takes the baby on the days when he leaves later for work in the morning so that l can have a lie in. Also has baby until whenever on days off so that l can lie in.

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If you’re combi feeding then you could do similar to us - I don’t give formula but give expressed milk in a bottle. I go to bed around 8-9pm and DH will take over settling her if she’s aggy (she’s 6 weeks so peak witching hours age and is sometimes fussy until 10-11pm) and then will give her a bottle before bed which I have usually pumped before bed or earlier in the day. Then I BF overnight as this is the way that everyone gets most sleep as no faffing with bottles or going up and down stairs etc. Then DH will take baby any time from 5.30am onwards whenever she is unsettled/rouses and if needed will give a bottle then too. Luckily he usually doesn’t have to leave for work until 8.30am so he can let me sleep until 7.30 most days. We have two older DC who he also sees to until this time. Then I help him get them ready. At the weekends he’ll often let me sleep until 8-9am 🙌

Husband slept in our bed and I slept in the spare room with baby. I'd take formula bottles up in a cool bag with ice packs over night (I have my baby it cold so her never knew any different 😂) or use a perfect prep machine (set it up in bedroom!)
Hope this helps x

Not here to tell you to exclusively breast feed at all but my DC is now one month old. For the last 2ish weeks I have been expressing (especially at night as massive leakage). Breast milk can be kept in the fridge for up to 4 days so would be less bottle prep.

DH is usually out for work from 7:30am until 5:30-6pm Mon-Fri and some Sat 7am-1pm. I breast feed mostly.

During the day DC goes anywhere between 1-3 hours. Still very much feeding on demand. Around 5pm onwards (typically as I am preparing dinner) DC starts to cluster feed. At 9pm DH will take over and DC will usually have a bottle of expressed breast milk around 10:30pm. I think DC gets more out of a bottle so then will sleep 4-5 hours before next feed as is full/milk drunk. I then breast feed around 2-3am and DC wakes around 6-7am. DH tends to fall asleep on the sofa or goes in the spare room.

I went to bed as early as I could (around 8pm) and DH kept DD downstairs until he needed to go to bed (about 1am but could be earlier if your DH needs more sleep for his job). He gave a bottle just before bring her up already asleep in the Moses basket and I would do any further wake-ups.

We did the same as you and my DH slept in another room if he needed to have a good sleep for work.

I EBF so it meant I had the whole bed to co sleep if I wanted to, and didn't have to worry about DH rolling on the baby

Then on nights when he slept in with us, he would hold her while I went for a wee etc if she was awake/crying or he would change a nappy etc if needed. Obviously he couldn't feed her as he didn't have boobs, but he would otherwise help if I needed him too.

Outside of that, he would help me get as much sleep as possible. So mornings if he was around he would look after her while I got a lay in, weekends I would nap if I needed to etc. Although to be honest in the newborn days I never really felt sleep deprived as I would just sleep in the day with the baby, it got harder when the baby was older and didn't sleep as much in the day.

Get pre mixed formula for night and a mini fridge in your room

My partner left the house at 5 am so slept in the spare room 4 days a week when he was in the office. I did the overnights. On the weekend he took her from 7ish so I could sleep until 10. At 3 this is still the set up. I am a night owl and find the early mornings harder than the overnights. My partner is a lark and finds the overnights harder than the early mornings. Play to one anothers strengths

I was EBF so DH couldn't help with the feeding so a bit different. For the formula can you keep bottles and pre-made cartons in the bedroom?

With DD1 DH slept in the guest room. DD1 screamed all evening and had reflux all night; it was awful and almost broke me.

With DD2 we no longer had a spare room so DH slept on the sofa when he needed to. DD2 mostly slept amazingly so DH kept her in her moses basket in the lounge during the evening whilst I got an early night then he brought her upstairs when he came to bed. If we co-slept he went back to the sofa.

I have twins whom were combi fed and when newborn their sleep was awful. So we did the following sunday-thursday I went to bed 8pm ish to 10.30 then we both did 10.30 feed and got them to sleep. Husband then slept in the spare room. If girls were awake about 5.30 husband would then have them till he went to work. We would reverse the routine on Friday and Saturday nights. Hope that makes sense.