Supervised contact

[Mama1026]

Hello, my child is due to have supervised contact with the father in a contact centre. They’re bringing extremely distressed, crying before school and crying when we’ve spoken about contact. Also saying they won’t get out of the car to go. Has anyone been through this? Do I have to force them to go? Please help!! 😭😭

This must be very distressing for you and your child. It would be best I think for you to contact your child’s social worker and tell them what’s happening. Ask for advice and support. As far as I’m aware, the legal situation is that children should attend contact and that everything must be done to facilitate this. You would most likely be asked to reassure your child and do as much as you can to make it easier for them to go.

You should expect your child’s SW to discuss this with you and to talk to your child about it. Awful for you though.

If there is a court order then yes. If not, no.

Court ordered yes you must facilitate.
No court order, wouldn't worry about it.

So cafcass have said supervised contact for a number of months. We don't have a SW. I have never stopped contact, it's my child's wishes to not go from his previous actions! (There's been a lot) I was hoping that if they see how distressed my child is then they won't be made to be put through it?! I don't really know but it's really keeping me up at night! 😣😣

Is there another court hearing coming up where it will be reviewed?
You can ask for a report from the contact centre to support your evidence that your DC isn't happy going to contact.

How old is your child?

Go to the centre and get the staff to come out and see your child in distress and tell them to write it in their records. Then you have proof you facilitated contact but your child was too distressed. If you don't take your child it will look bad in you.

Although unless you have a court order you don't technically have to force your kid you need to play the long game. Supervised contact builds up to unsupervised unless it's shown to be detrimental to the child. The bar for showing it's detrimental is too high I think the system is disgusting and these poor kids suffer for it. But you have to get that evidence in the reports how distressed your child is or it will look like you are blocking contact. Unless you feel blocking all contact is needed and you are prepared to defend this in family court. I'd recommend getting advice from a family law solicitor with experience in this area as caffcass despite what they claim are not impartial and do not make recommendations based on what's best for the kid they think contact at all costs is best for the kid unless there is proof the kid is abused badly. My ex shook our baby and carcass recommended contact. She came home with marks on her from supervised contact. I stopped contact ended up court order and now they go unsupervised- I just tried to protect my children and thought the system would protect them I never thought about how to build up evidence and that was a mistake

That's so sad!!!! How awful!!!! I've never stopped contact! But my children have never felt comfortable around him! He's supposed to give medical records which he hasn't so still waiting for that! Cafcass is concerned with his his mental health and said 6 months supervised and if not then indirect contact but the courts are still pushing for him to see them but I've always asked if they'd like to or if they miss him! They're so emotionally distressed and it's about an hour away from where we live! The court just said I need to encourage them and do a statement how contact went and have another (4th) hearing!

Hi, my son will have supervised contact soon. He is behaving similarly. He has to meet his father three times until the next hearing.
How long this will go?

It’s awful isn’t it. Mine had to go to supervised contact for around 9/10 months.