Bed time battles

[Elisabeth3468]

Son is 26 months and has always struggled with sleep and falling asleep. Hes very energetic and takes a while to wind down.
I'm struggling with getting him to sleep at night and it can take hours and hours. I have no evening and barely any time to clean up, let alone wind down. Some nights I do manage to get him Asleep for 8/8.30 and it's a miracle and he sleeps ok.
He does still nap because he can't seem to do without one because he wakes so early - 5.45 generally. Sometimes he has 2 hours nap other times like 10-20 minutes and then he's grumpy. If I wake him from his nap he just cries and tantrums for an hour.
I'm really at a loss of what to do or is it a case of waiting till he outgrows his nap?
He's recently started speaking very well and having mega tantrums as well so not sure if the refusing to sleep is also developmental.

He probably needs a bit more exercise to wear him out physically. But try a change in routine at night? Feed a bit more perhaps. Try story, bath with nice smelling bubbles, gentle lighting. Be firm but persistent. Can try star chart for staying in room. Kids don't need to be asleep for you to leave them.

I have found this as my son has got older. It’s really tough! Physical exercise to tire him out really works with him. Soft play, swimming, park, and active play where he is walking and standing a lot mean that once he’s in bed and has his story he’s much more likely just to fall asleep instead of cry.

Thanks for the responses.
We have very active days and go to stay and plays 3 mornings a week and soft play a couple of times a week. Also go on daily walks (even in the rain) and to the park. He can walk for miles honestly amazes me haha.
I'm hoping when the summer comes we can get out even more and he will be more tired.
I think I do need to try a more consistent routine.
He's just so curious about the world and wants to chat away all evening. We are still breast feeding but this doesn't really work any more getting him to sleep so will be weaning him the next week or so. He doesn't feed much anyway.

It sounds like he’s just chatty and curious at that time. So perhaps a good wind down routine would help.
it sounds silly but a “dance party” after dinner to get the energy out. Then begin wind down with books bath etc.
then say it’s time for bed and leave. If he doesn’t cry then I think it’s reasonable to allow him to fall asleep himself. Initially it may take a while but if not unsettled it’s worth leaving him. It’s still quiet time even if he’s not asleep immediately. And you get your evening back!

Thank you for this.
Yes he's just very curious and lies there singing different songs. He doesn't get upset , he's just awake.
Last night I left him in the there and every time he got out of bed I said "time for sleep" down the monitor and he scuttled back into bed.
Felt a bit mean doing that but he didn't cry and actually went to sleep within about 10 minutes 😂

@Elisabeth3468 thats wonderful! You managed really well and he’s clearly ready for bed! Hopefully you got to enjoy your evening!
now if only I could get my 4 month old to sleep!

@Pinklilly this is the thing, I know he's tired but he just finds it hard to wind down.
Ahhh 4 months is such a tricky age. I had a very restless baby and when I think back to those times it was literally just survival mode.

@Elisabeth3468 its hard at that age to wind down. I also have a 2.5 year old and I find doing something like a dance party or role play (she’s the ice cream lady often!) actually helps get excess energy out before we actually start the wind down process. It’s not what books etc say as they this could stimulate a child but as long as you still use the wind down routine thereafter I think it works!
with children though ultimately consistency pays off so I’m sure if you keep reminding him to stay in bed he will soon do that naturally.

it certainly feels like survival mode with my baby currently!

I don't have much advice because my DS is 21 months and can be a real nightmare to get to sleep. Can take a couple of hours before he'll actually go to sleep and that's usually after pushing him in the pram or taking him in the car. But just want to say you're not alone, it's tough

DC1 was like that, and now a few months on bedtime is much speedier. I like to think it's stuff we did but it's probably getting older that fixed it.

Concise language and expectations set before bedtime, then repeated lots, and stuck to. So before, we were giving into extra chats, books etc. It all dragged on and on. Now it's, 'ok we're going upstairs in X minutes, then you're going to put your pyjamas on and do your teeth, then you will get in bed and I'll read you two books. After that we'll have a cuddle and I'll switch the light off and stay here until you fall asleep.'

Once we'd established that and made it clear what we wanted, there was a lot less messing around.

Amy attempts to deviate from the routine 'ooh you're really upset you can't play more. The problem is, it's bedtime. What was it you wanted to play with? I'll write that down on my phone so we remember to get it out in the morning.' Also 'I heard an owl outside!' Then back to 'right, time for your book now..'