Anyone else feel unbelievably anxious about their toddler and the thought of yet another temperature

[Fightingtobepositive]

We’ve just got over what was suspected to be a nasty virus fortnight of temps (40 spike) hospital admission and damn right scary for us and very unwell little boy (2 - 3 in April)

im just so sick of him going to a soft play who he we’ve now stopped or nursery and then 3 days later something starts brewing. Im so anxious it’ll be more than just a runny nose. He suffers with his throat to he has naturally big tonsils so always seems to head the same way. I don’t know im
just looking for some reassurance that we are not alone. He’s been back in nursery for 3 days after two and a half weeks off and this morning woke up flushed and snobby. I’m just so anxious at the sight of those lottle red cheeks and snobby nose.

Yeah I'd knock soft play on the head for a bit. Give his body a break so it's just the same kids at nursery he's mixing with

It felt never ending when they were that age, at temperatures and illnesses. They do eventually get an adequate immune system but I would avoid soft play for a few weeks and just take him to the park, walk and let his little body recover, poor thing!!

@MotherofChaosandDestruction @tomago
yes we are on a soft play ban. But we only went the once since last autum. But that one time was before the nasty illness. So we are avoiding at all costs. We are always outdoors but we are in wales and have literally had around 10 dry days since last November. It’s so frustrating.

I think I can handle the snobby noses and so on. It’s the temperature that frightens me and it seems to linger for so long to. He ends up on antibiotics then 😢 is this just us! When does it get better. He’s been in nursery since he’s been 1

I found at 3 they just started getting longer stretches of being well. It's awful seeing them so unwell but what I will say is don't let your anxiety run wild, I suffer badly with it but tried not to allow it to stop me doing things. If you haven't been to soft play since autumn I would perhaps return soon, let him get well but don't avoid it totally!

My kids immune system is now robust due to licking blocks in soft play 🤣

@MotherofChaosandDestruction I hope it’s soon. My mind is haywire I’m frightened of everything. We went once since autumn and that was before he came down unwell. So it’s put me off again now 😢 he was 6 weeks early and I worry he finds it hard to fight things off himself

You’re not alone, my son is 5 soon and I get sooo beyond anxious about germs and temps. I’ve got my reasons that I’ve had counselling for, but any little cough or temp and im anxious, catastrophising, and it’s horrible. I have calmed down since he was 2/3 mind, but it’s not great. Since Christmas he’s had covid, a viral infection and now a huge cough and cold. I’m trying to get used to it being how it is. Always worse when they start school.

Solidarity OP. I am similar, we've had loads of bugs and illnesses with our DD and some that have been particularly nasty requiring hospital visits (particularly double ear infection with burst ear drum, 14 day diarrhea and nasty nappy rash incident, etc). I am finding it extremely hard to cope with the anxiety.
I've had some therapy but I think some of the anxiety is circumstantial and will get better when the illnesses get fewer and far between. Also its not like you can ignore the anxiety completely as its serving a purpose to keep your child safe and so you do have to keep monitoring them.
Things that have helped me

• allowing myself a bit of reassurance seeking but only once and then not feeding it any more
• taking docs advice with regular doses of calpol and ibuprofen
• lowering my standards elsewhere
• acknowledging the anxious thoughts but trying not to argue with them or rationalise them, just notice they're there and accept them as what they are - stories your brain tells you
• honestly, wine!

I'm told this will pass. Hang in there, you're doing great OP xxx

Another one who totally understands.

For me it's a cough, as ridiculous as that sounds. When my eldest gets a cough it's never ever straight forward and it goes on forever.

I hear her cough once and I get the most overwhelming anxiety.

We’ve all had a really bad stomach bug and now he’s back to having a cough / cold 🙈. It just seems never ending!
im taking him to some outdoor playgroups to see if that makes a difference x

@Noshowlomo @Aprildaisyx @Purple89 @losthj so hard isn’t it I just feel so frustrated. The people around me don’t seem to deal with illnesses more so temperatures as often as us. I just feel for DS he’s just been through a horrid illness and we aren’t even into a new month and something is brewing again.
I can feel that churn in my stomach and the feeling of insecurity as to what’s to come. He has nursery Tuesday and just the through of sending him if so much as has a sniffle breaks me knowing he will pick up more 😢

Try and challenge your thinking, OP. Although it's upsetting and worrying when they are ill, childhood illnesses actually strengthen us! They are a necessary part of a developing a strong immune system so he will be developing antibodies all the time!

@coloursquare i know this and I do battle the thoughts from both sides and so the doctors keep saying also. It’s just so hard to watch and when I compare to others I feel like he’s unwell more so. But I guess he doesn’t have the chance to stay home when he’s a little under the weather (sniffly nose etc) we still have to send him then he picks up more and it all gets to much I think. It’s just a mix of everything anxiety mum guilt frustration. But you are right I know I need to understand it’s part of development x

@Fightingtobepositive it haunts me and I don't think I will ever recover from this time.

I was a very different person before this.

I think these posts can divide mums. Sadly.

Bugs and nurseries always went hand in hand.

However, I'm sure there will be a study in years to come to show the damage we have experienced.

Those who had a child exposed pre covid, then had siblings, usual level.

Those who had children just before or and during covid, something else level.

Many factors, lack of mixing, lack of immunity and lack of regard for rules. It's well rehearsed that parents, are so sick of kids being off, just send them in.

That's not a blame game, just a reality. Whilst there were always parents who did not care, I absolutely professionally and personally have seen that increase.

@Fightingtobepositive how is he doing. And you?

@losthj i know it is just so hard isn’t it. No one warns you about this side of being a mum ❤️

he’s ok. The runny nose didn’t last past Sunday but he’s started coughing through the night last night so that’s started me off again. Nursery is just full of germs isn’t it 😢