Ideas for my highly sensitive child

[Thaimoon]

Hello!
I have a 3.5 year old daughter who is very sensitive. This gives her traits such as being very intuitive and empathetic, it also means she is unhappy in noisy, busy or over stimulating environments.

She prefers quiet play, at home, although she does attend preschool and has settled there by finding similar minded playmates.

I think she is getting to an age where she would enjoy and benefit doing an activity, like dance or sport or something. I'm just a bit stuck for ideas for her.

She would not like anything "rough and tumble" or where there would be loud noises or too unpredictable an environment. She thrives on routine, she loves animals and asking questions!

I just wondered if anyone else has a similar child who has any ideas? Not looking for advice on her sensitivity, we have accepted and embraced that as her personality. Just some ideas of activities or clubs she may enjoy and thrive in. Thanks in advance

I know you don’t want advice but Google SPD. My DS has this and sounds just like your daughter. He is 15 now though. Activities he enjoyed when younger were a science club and language lessons.

Ballet or gymnastics would be the obvious one if you are looking for a regular class. You can also visit places like alpaca farms or city zoos (they have guinea pigs and animals like that), there are museums and art galleries with activity rooms for little ones - usually drawing or weaving or identifying footprints etc. Swimming/water classes. Perhaps she could learn a musical instrument. I would expose her to as much as possible and see what sticks.

Horse riding. Only activity I actually enjoyed.

My advice would be not to overload her with activities. Some children are fairly exhausted by school/pre-school and need a lot of downtime afterwards. DS1 (ASD/ADHD diagnoses; 11yo) does hardly any clubs, because his battery is so low after a day at school and he just needs a reset.

Swimming is a life skill, though, both of mine had lessons and enjoyed them.

There are lots of clubs that do pre school sessions. I’d recommend trying as many as possible and she what sticks. At that age my DD who is also a hsp tried ballet, tennis, football, gymnastics, swimming. She only enjoyed gym, but a couple of years later switched back to ballet.

Unfortunately my DS didn't really enjoy any club I tried. I think the bottom line is that he'd always rather be home.

The only thing we persevered with was swimming, he didn't particulalry enjoy it but it was a life skill I wanted him to learn.

I didn't do any clubs at your daughters age though, just from reception age onwards.

My similarly.natured dd loved baby ballet at that age/stage as it was quite chilled but also very predictable in terms of building up the same skill for a few weeks. It's given her the confidence to transition to a 'proper' class where she now goes in alone which I never would have dreamed of a year ago.

3.5 is a great age to get started at table tennis? Not too noisy or rough but very rhythmic / regulating

Girl scouts

My DS7 is similar. Never wanted to do lots of clubs despite me trying to get him involved. Realised it’s detrimental.

Needs a lot of down time but is a super, bright and empathetic boy and pretty good at sports. Happy to be involved at school (when he has to) but not out of school.

Admit it is a concern as I want him to have an active lifestyle. He does a music class once a fortnight and a quiet games club.

I personally think he’d be great at drama but I/we can’t get over the early hurdles of joining a new club. Actually he did join one, and it was jazz hands awful - all shouty with no order (naturally!). So I got that wrong! Anyway - I do hear you and it’s great you’re sensitive to your child’s needs.

This.

Horses have turned my sensitive daughter into a very resilient confident teen.

Start her on an orchestral instrument as soon as she is old enough. Band practice, concerts and trips have provided my sensitive introvert with a social life for the last 8 years.

I have a similar DD, now older. Have you thought about getting a pet? Guinea pigs are nice at this age - very gentle - and become tame quickly if you keep them indoors and handle them regularly with treats. My DD also enjoys trampolining, baking and crafts. She's never really liked clubs much.

Along with her other quirks, is she not very coordinated?

My DM sent me to ballet hoping this would improve. It didn't and was painful for all concerned.

I struggled with DD. She liked brownies and then guides (until it got too loud due to some new recruits). She also went to a book club for several years.
She was also in a music group but it went belly up with covid sadly.
I tried dancing etc but they weren’t for her. I did try to get her to go to an art club but all the kids were younger.

Something creative and absorbing that doesn't need silence like an art club, yoga, helping with horses or riding, petting farm.

Ah thank you all for your responses, and for the great ideas.

I'm going to have a think, especially about horse riding- I hadn't considered that one.

I also agree with a pp that it might not be good to overwhelm her with things especially as she starts school

Thanks again everyone

Ballet (but check the teacher isn’t shouty, some are still very old-school) worked for my dd. Over a decade later, she still finds the best way to ground herself and feel good is to do a ballet class. I think it’s the repetition and knowing what to expect, plus both physical and mental challenge.

I’d also recommend choir and instruments when your dd is a bit older. Lots of sensitive introverts seem to be involved in making music!

She sounds somewhat similar to my 5 yo who is also highly sensitive. At 3.5 we started swimming lessons which she enjoyed straight away as had been going to baby swimming for as long as she could remember. At 4 we added gymnastics but that wasn't as successful. Took her a long time to settle and though eventually she did say she enjoyed it, she never made any friends and made very little progress with the gymnastics. We pulled her out of there at 5 and swapped it for performing arts classes. She's in her second term of that so far, she settled straight away and seems to have made a few friends and is really enjoying it.

I've also just remembered I did a trial of baby ballet at 3 with her which she didn't like. Wouldn't join in much and was painfully shy and wouldn't talk to the teacher etc so we didnt continue with it.

So at 3.5 I'd probs just suggest swimming lessons and waiting until after she's started primary school for anything else.

You can’t be empathetic at 3. Empathy doesn’t even start to develop until around 4. She just sounds shy and easily overwhelmed which is quite normal for her age.

@Pointey thank you! I've two left feet so got asked to leave ballet by my old-school teacher when I was 3 🙈🤣 perhaps she would be better than me though

@WeightoftheWorld thank you, she does love water so swimming would hopefully be a success!