Do I tell child’s dad he no longer wants to see him

[BeRubyLeader]

My DS is 9 years old, almost 10 and for the past few months has started saying he doesn’t want to go to his dads anymore. At first the reason he didnt want to go was “he doesnt do anything with me etc” now he says he’s being mean to him, always telling him off for nothing and leaving him out when his dads other children are there. He sees his dad one night a week, either during the week or weekend but other than that his dad shows no interest in him, has never asked how he’s doing at school etc. I don’t want to be the bad guy and upset his dad by saying he doesn’t want to come anymore but I can’t cope with my DS coming home crying or getting so worked up whenever I mention his dad is coming to pick him up
What do I do?

My DGS has just stopped going to his dad's.... staying over anyway... same reasons..he does nothing with him etc. DD has said if he doesnt want to go and he's unhappy then hes not to go...itll be agreed i think that he will see his dad for couple hour in day every other week but he won't stay over anymore

If he doesnt want to see him..then dont let him see him. Happy child is best

… depending on your relationship with his father first diplomatically suggest that your DS is starting to head towards his teens and is saying he wants to do more interesting things like X and Y when he stays over. If that’s met with indifference ( likely) atleast you've tried to support their relationship and then yes scale it back to just a few hours at a weekend doing something planned at his Dads when he wants to go . .. it’s a natural progression for some kids as they get older, up to his dad to evolve with that or not really but try to leave things on good terms, couch it like DS wanting to see more of his friends and staying at yours rather than an outright rejection of his father. Remember your DS may change his mind down the line and reconnect, support things to be civil still now rather than an abrupt disconnect xx

How about you frame it

"DS desperately needs some one to one time with you to reconnect and believe you still love him, have you any suggestions"

Thank you all for the advice, have spoken to his dad, and have settled on DS just seeing him for a few hours on a saturday and not overnight to see how he gets on. Fingers crossed things will improve ✌