Spirited 21 month old running me ragged

[tiredtiredmum]

Looking for advice on my 21month old spirited and energetic son.

Our days together are just so hard. He is struggling to ever entertain himself for more than 30 seconds. If I take my eyes off him he does something he’s not supposed to, like climbing on furniture or throwing things. He got a new book board game today and I played with him for 20 minutes then sat back and when I stopped paying attention he threw the whole thing on the floor. I took him to the library this morning, we took a long walk there, lots of energy burner and when we get there he sits for 10 seconds at most then wants to grab a different book, so we read that again for 10 seconds then he’s off again to a new book, pulling books off every shelf and never staying still. I turned around and there were about 20 books out. I feel embarrassed to take him places.

Nursery have told me the past few pick ups that the days have been difficult, with him not listening, not staying still, and only happy if the activity is adult led at all times.

I am really struggling and exhausted. How do I manage this? When he doesn’t get our attention instantly he misbehaves (hitting, throwing, climbing) so ignoring doesn’t work. I am worried there is some sort of behaviour issue? Does it sound like this?

For reference he has a very balanced diet, lots of veggies, lots of exercise and sleeps well.

We are a two parent household, he is the same with Dad but admittedly worse with me

Stop responding to his behaviour. Some kids struggle more than others to regulate themselves. I have 3 and one of my kids is as you described. I've learned to ignore - he will eventually get bored.

Also if he throws stuff - show him how to tidy 'oh now, the books are messy , can you help me tidy up?' Then demonstrate how to tidy

I have a similar situation, my 22 month old is a ball of energy - and she LOVED books up until about three months ago, and now there just not cutting the mustard.

Playdoh is a great tool in my toddler arsenal, keeps her attention for a while, duplo blocks that she can build towers with and crash them down - just more active 'do-y' toys.

The Tupperware drawer is also a constant source of entertainment 🤣

following.

I don’t have answers but can only send some moral support. It’s awful isn’t it. My son just is incapable of staying still, whether he’s walking, on his trike. In the buggy. The minute you stop moving he looses it.
Also the more energy you put in the more they have????????? Make it make sense.

I wonder about the behavioural side too but I guess some people have to be go getters right 😢 I feel like our ones will be the crazy’s up at 5:30am to climb Ben Nevis or something. Guess it’s the cards we got dealt but doesn’t make it ANY easier.

Hows your bedtimes are you managing to settle ok? x

Do you tell him off?

He’s 21 months are you mad, why would she tell him off? Unless I missed something in the message. What a horrible thing to suggest

I said tell him off, not beat him 🙄 a firm ‘no’ if he throws books on the floor at the library, and lift him away from them.

Unfortunately this behaviour is normal for a child this age, particularly boys. Not all are like this but lots are. He really can’t be expected to concentrate or sit still for any length of time. It will get easier as he gets older. For now you just need to build in survival strategies. I would spend as much time as possible out of the house in environments where he can burn off energy. So parks or soft play when wet weather. It is also normal for a child this age to demand attention from their caregivers. If you give as much attention as you are able to he will need it less as he ages. So when you’re with him put the phone away and treat it like your job to be “on” as much as possible.
It really does get easier.

Can you get things like a spinny chair, toddler climbing/rocking arch, sensory swing etc? Sounds like he needs a lot of physical activity, so being able to have safe activity items in the house could save him going for unsafe ones. Don't take him to the library, go to the woods, a stream, park with balance and climbing items. If you have a garden, get a sandpit and mud kitchen.

Our youngest little boy very energetic and ‘spirited’ too, although he has got a little easier as he’s got older. We were really lucky though and found he was fine at nursery where he got chance to run around and be stimulated all day so we just increased his hours there which gave us a bit more energy for coping with him at home! Can imagine more difficult if struggling there too, how set up are they for his personality? E.g. lots of opportunity for free play, staff who take the initiative to help him with behaviour etc?
At home now we still have to get out and about every day, put on his waterproofs and wellies and get out there whatever the weather, clubs he goes to help too, then usually find get half hour here and there in between when he’s just happy to watch tv and we can take a breather!