Screen time long term guilt

[Marshmallowicecream]

When my now nearly 4 year old was 1.5-2.5ish I gave her so much screen time - too much - and I still can’t drop the worry and guilt even though I know it’s pointless. They weren’t even all educational programmes but rubbish fast paced nursery rhyme type shows. I had just lost a parent and I think I just didn’t know how to cope with motherhood and although I read to her, played with her and took her out I let her watch TV so so much when at home. I think also the fact that we were transitioning out of lockdowns and I was quite socially isolated having not been able to make new mum friends didn’t help.

I really worry that I’ve impacted her brain development, that perhaps she’s not as “bright” as others her age or as interested in a wide range of topics. I feel like I’ve failed her.

I try to keep screen time as limited as possible these days, but it’s the impact stemming from very early life that worries me.

Any parents out there that did the same and children turned out ok? Obviously intelligence is not a benchmark for ok, I just want her to reach her potential and be fulfilled and happy. Any other words of reassurance? Can’t seem to let go of this.

TIA

If my maths is right then it sounds like 1.5-2YO was lockdown - don't be so hard on yourself!

My daughter has always had as much screen time as she wanted and now she's older she will actively choose to do other things. She's doing very well at school and no concerns at all. Now if I can just get my 2 year old off of the screens as she is addicted!

My DD was 2 in the 2020 lockdowns and during the first one her nursery closed for 4 months. I still had to work full time from home, work was busier than ever, I couldn’t be furloughed, DH job can’t be done from home and he couldn’t be furloughed either, and couldn’t get any family support. She had way too much screen time as it was the only way for us to keep functioning.

She’s in year 1 now and doesn’t seem to have any ill-effects from it. She’s in the top group for reading in her class and as far as I can tell is ahead of where she should be in maths and other subjects.

Guilt about the past is a waste of time. Focus on what’s happening now.

Don’t feel guilty. You sound like a good parent. Ive seen very priveleged children have lots of low quality screen time such as kidfluencere(nannies usually bug allowed by parents). Those children always turnseje no

Thank you everyone. I think I notice the parents who are very careful more so than the plenty of others who are more laid back. So I’ve been feeling like I’m guilty of this terrible parenting, which is maybe more normal than I assume, I just remember it being so so hard to restrict and I just don’t really know why now!

I spent my whole childhood watching telly- no limit on screen time whatsoever. Okay, it was the 80s so no YouTube, but I had endless screen time watching some properly inane cartoon videos, interspersed with Thomas the Tank VHSs and some mad anthology of Disney songs video that was brain-rottingly insane. As an adult I'm a very bright person with a PhD in Literature.

I promise you that this screen time at that age will have done nothing bad. Don't beat yourself up.

both my son have no limit screen time. My 8 years old also play playstation for 2 hours everyday on top of it. And my 8 years old is gifted child and he is in the gifted programme with high IQ. And my 4 years old already can read story book by himself. I really dont think too much screen time affecting my children brain. Because they both are really cleaver both academically and socially and they watching telly a lot. Dont be too hard on yourself.

I relate to this but it's probably worse on my side.
My 4 year old has way too much screen time.
But then I remind myself how much she insists on at least two stories before bed, the countless times I've taken her to the park on her bike, the games we've played together, the amount of cuddles and kisses, the holidays we've been on.
It then doesn't seem quite as bad.

I'll always feel the guilt though. The problem I have is that I'd rather put the TV on so I can get on with 'me-stuff' which is so very selfish I know, but I find it really hard to sit and play with her for hours on end.

Even worse - I'm a teacher ...
I'm not winning any parent awards put it that way.