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Reception Friendships

22 replies

MintMat · 23/02/2024 10:16

Hello! I just wanted a bit of guidance as I'm a bit out of my depth....my son is in reception and seems to play with a lot of the kids but doesn't seem to have a real friendship. I wasn't worried about this as he's only 5 but since speaking to other mums at the gate l, have found out a lot of the children do have a good friend they have made in class. Should I be doing more to help? He seems ok and I was until I found out about the other children and their friendship groups.
Thank You!

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Chocolatelover888 · 23/02/2024 10:20

Hi there, my son is in year 1 (about to turn 6)and he’s the same and from what I understand it’s normal! I spoke to the teacher and she said that while some kids do form close friendships / “best friends” at this stage, many “float round” (her words!) play on their own etc. my son runs round with kids sometimes and sometimes plays on his own (happily) but definitely doesn’t have a best friend or a close knit group. I was worried too until I realised he’s totally happy and friendly and stopped trying to force it. My daughter is 3.5 and has a group of best friends already so could also be a boy /girl thing in some instances, or just the kids character.

Normandy144 · 23/02/2024 10:23

Seems pretty normal to me and I think quite healthy to have a wide range of friends. As a parent what you can do, if you're not already is get him to invite a friend over after school to play/have dinner. Then you'll find that you might get reciprocal invites.

IncognitoUsername · 23/02/2024 12:19

I’m a Reception TA and this is totally normal, especially for boys. Girls tend to have more ‘best friends’ whereas the boys are just mates with most other children.

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IncognitoUsername · 23/02/2024 12:21

Also, be wary of what other mums say about their child having a best friend - it’s often that the mums are friends and so the friendship is ‘forced’ onto the children.

Barleysugar86 · 23/02/2024 12:23

My son had an inseparable best friend in year 1- who then moved away causing much worry to everyone. Year 2 he hasn't replaced him with another best friend but on the pick up and drop offs lots of kids are shouting hello and goodbye to him, he is invited to parties, tells me about the big group (mainly chasing) games he plays at break. So I've decided not to worry. Honestly his close best friend friendship made him quite vunerable.

CaptainMyCaptain · 23/02/2024 12:23

IncognitoUsername · 23/02/2024 12:21

Also, be wary of what other mums say about their child having a best friend - it’s often that the mums are friends and so the friendship is ‘forced’ onto the children.

I came on to post exactly this. I'm a retired Early Years teacher and your son sounds quite normal.

ColleenDonaghy · 23/02/2024 12:24

Sounds normal and healthy to me - my DC is the other way and quickly formed a tight friendship with another wee girl and doesn't seem to have much interest in playing with anyone else. Great when it's going well, not so great when it (inevitably) isn't.

WinkyTinky · 23/02/2024 12:24

My son is in year 11 and despite being a very popular boy according to his teachers (and I also think he's lovely) he's never really had what I would call a friend. I wouldn't worry at 5 years old OP, there's plenty of time.

CoalCraft · 23/02/2024 12:48

Some kids are more the type to form a small circle of close friends, others are more likely to socialise more widely. As long as they are having positive interactions with their peers and are happy, all is well!

(Actually I'd say there are benefits to being in the latter camp - less friendship dramas / jealousy that way!)

elliejjtiny · 23/02/2024 12:57

It's completely normal at this age.

Summershoes · 23/02/2024 12:59

My child didn’t have a close friend through any of his school years which worried us. He’s in his 20’s now and is a real social butterfly. It seems to have served him well in the end. I wouldn’t worry too much.

Original poster
MintMat · 23/02/2024 16:18

Chocolatelover888 · 23/02/2024 10:20

Hi there, my son is in year 1 (about to turn 6)and he’s the same and from what I understand it’s normal! I spoke to the teacher and she said that while some kids do form close friendships / “best friends” at this stage, many “float round” (her words!) play on their own etc. my son runs round with kids sometimes and sometimes plays on his own (happily) but definitely doesn’t have a best friend or a close knit group. I was worried too until I realised he’s totally happy and friendly and stopped trying to force it. My daughter is 3.5 and has a group of best friends already so could also be a boy /girl thing in some instances, or just the kids character.

Thank You for taking the time to reassure me. Its very worrying and has really been on my mind lately so it's great to hear your son is simular.

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Original poster
MintMat · 23/02/2024 16:19

Normandy144 · 23/02/2024 10:23

Seems pretty normal to me and I think quite healthy to have a wide range of friends. As a parent what you can do, if you're not already is get him to invite a friend over after school to play/have dinner. Then you'll find that you might get reciprocal invites.

We have had a few play dates, I am a little wary of organising too much with the mums at the gate as I didn't want to push any friendships on my son that he wouldn't have formed without my intervention, maybe I am just thinking too much and reading too much into everything!

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Original poster
MintMat · 23/02/2024 16:22

IncognitoUsername · 23/02/2024 12:19

I’m a Reception TA and this is totally normal, especially for boys. Girls tend to have more ‘best friends’ whereas the boys are just mates with most other children.

Thank You!

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Original poster
MintMat · 23/02/2024 16:23

IncognitoUsername · 23/02/2024 12:21

Also, be wary of what other mums say about their child having a best friend - it’s often that the mums are friends and so the friendship is ‘forced’ onto the children.

I am really worried about this also, I really don't want to push anything on him so I'm worrying about that too. Think I'm over worrying about everything, does it get easier as they get older?

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Original poster
MintMat · 23/02/2024 16:25

Barleysugar86 · 23/02/2024 12:23

My son had an inseparable best friend in year 1- who then moved away causing much worry to everyone. Year 2 he hasn't replaced him with another best friend but on the pick up and drop offs lots of kids are shouting hello and goodbye to him, he is invited to parties, tells me about the big group (mainly chasing) games he plays at break. So I've decided not to worry. Honestly his close best friend friendship made him quite vunerable.

Thank You for taking the time to share this, it's all so worrying to me.

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Original poster
MintMat · 23/02/2024 16:25

CaptainMyCaptain · 23/02/2024 12:23

I came on to post exactly this. I'm a retired Early Years teacher and your son sounds quite normal.

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Thank You for confirming this

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Original poster
MintMat · 23/02/2024 16:26

ColleenDonaghy · 23/02/2024 12:24

Sounds normal and healthy to me - my DC is the other way and quickly formed a tight friendship with another wee girl and doesn't seem to have much interest in playing with anyone else. Great when it's going well, not so great when it (inevitably) isn't.

Goodness I didn't think of the other side of the coin.

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Original poster
MintMat · 23/02/2024 16:26

CoalCraft · 23/02/2024 12:48

Some kids are more the type to form a small circle of close friends, others are more likely to socialise more widely. As long as they are having positive interactions with their peers and are happy, all is well!

(Actually I'd say there are benefits to being in the latter camp - less friendship dramas / jealousy that way!)

Thank You and your last point makes total sense.

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MummaMummaJumma · 23/02/2024 16:29

Sounds normal to me. My daughter, YR1 is a bit of a floater, but does have ‘best friends’ and a wee boyfriend 🤣

My son is in nursery and does often play with a few of the same kids, but mostly because of the activity as opposed to being mates with them. His old keyworker kept writing ‘needs to form solid friendships’ on his next step. His new keyworker has no concerns at all, as he is very social, plays with everyone.

It seems like perhaps it is a boy thing, from what I’ve read on the PP, it sounds really common.

IncognitoUsername · 23/02/2024 16:31

MintMat · 23/02/2024 16:23

I am really worried about this also, I really don't want to push anything on him so I'm worrying about that too. Think I'm over worrying about everything, does it get easier as they get older?

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Some things get easier, some seem to stop being so important and other things appear from nowhere! Parenting is a stressful job, but if they are happy and healthy you are doing a good job!
Mine has just done GCSE mocks and I was more stressed than he was!

TwoWithCurls · 23/02/2024 16:59

IncognitoUsername · 23/02/2024 12:21

Also, be wary of what other mums say about their child having a best friend - it’s often that the mums are friends and so the friendship is ‘forced’ onto the children.

Definitely this. Some mums form a sort of clique, and their kids end up behaving the same way.

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