Preteen DD and friendship issues

[LoveFood]

It's a tale as old as time but it's all new to me so any help appreciated.

DD has had a BFF for the last few years. They have spent loads of time together - and she also spends time with his family as she gets on quite well with his sister who has some additional needs and doesn't have a lot of her own friends.

They're now just turned 9.

But he doesn't seem to want to be her friend anymore. I think he's starting tp play with more of the boys etc, and they are naturally interested in different things. But DD is devastated. Absolutely devastated.

I just don't know how to help her. I'm sort of switching between deep sympathy and a bit of "right, well, you'll be okay, off you go now". I want to validate her feelings but also encourage her to understand this isn't weird that they've got different interests and like to do different things.

It's made more tricky as DD isn't brilliant at making friends. She's got a few friends she's stayed friends with throughout primary and one or two fairly superficial friends in her class etc, so for her it's devastating as she's not one of those children with a large group of diverse buddies. I am trying very hard to get her to be more friendly with other children in her class, and am desperately looking forward to next school year when they get moved around.

Any top tips?

This happened to a friend of mines DD. In year 4 as well. The little boy decided he only wanted to play with the boys and her DD was devastated and a bit lonely for a few years. The friend spent a few years trying to fit in with all the boys but in year 8 realised that my friends DD was the person he most enjoyed spending time with and he stopped caring what the other kids thought of him hanging round with a girl. They’re in their 20s now and holiday together all the time- absolute best mates.

I realise this doesn’t help much but it’s a situation I’ve seen before. I think in this situation it would have been better for the DD if she tried to move on as well and make friends with other children. Is it possible you can help with this by inviting kids round to yours and organising play dates? Having just the one best mate is always a bit risky not just in case they decide they don’t want to be friends anymore but if they move schools too.

Thanks. I've been trying to encourage other friendships and playdates but it hasn't been going that well. Still working on it... I do think that is the trick. She does have a few other good friends so I need to just up the time we spend with them perhaps.