Fed up with being a 24 / 7 entertainment service

[Spoo]

I am starting to feel resentful cos there are things I feel I want to get done but I never seem to have the time or energy to get them done. I have two toddler boys and we haven't stopped all weekend doing entertainment type stuff for them. I would just love a weekend with my DH to just sort out the house and garage and feel productive. I have tried to do stuff with them around but it just takes so much longer and so much effort as they are into everything. I was trying this afternoon to sort out the baby toys from the garage for an NCT sale and DS1 has 'misplaced' the masking tape I need to label the toys up. Grrr. Neither of mine have daytime sleeps and by the evening we are both shattered. Does anyone else feel like this?

If you really want to get something done then it's best to just get on with it and try to include them and accept that it will take you twice as long as it would on your own. I think it's good for children to get involved in day-to-day activities and get used to seeing the things that need to be done. It does start to get easier the more you include them as they get to know what's expected.
If it really is too difficult then the another option is for you or your dh to look after the children while the other one gets on with whatever they need to do.
Last option is to see if you can find someone to look after them for a couple of hours. (Not really an option that we had).

I know you are right Juuule. I don't have the greatest patience. DS1 isn't such trouble and he like to 'help' but DS2 is just very clingy and nosey. I also find that I can do it for maybe half an hour or so before they start playing up and we have to go and do a more kids related activity. It doesn't feel worth it. Someone else to look after them - well that would be lovely but not gonna happen.

Could you plan half hour bursts and then stop for a break and then another half hour? Then perhaps finish off once they'd gone to bed. You'd have done quite a lot by then and be looking at half an hour to an hour rather than a 2 hour stint when you're tired. Something like that maybe?

Yes! I feel the same way my two are 1 and 3 and seem intent on stopping me from doing anything productive. DP and I have to parent in shifts to get anything done which becomes stressful and anything but relaxing.

I think using the evenings could be the key but like you we are exhausted by the time they go to bed and we've tidied up. We're fit for nothing bar watching TV and a glass of wine.

Do neither of them go to nursery or anything?

That's not a bad idea. Does it get better as they get older? If you give them some time do they understand that they need to entertain themselves for a period?

I use the term 'coffee break' and blatantly tell DD (3) that she will have to play on her own. The reward is that "Mummy will play shops after" or whatever she's into that day.

How old are the boys?

...try distraction...give them their own box of stuff to tidy so they think they are joining in.
This used to work with DD, there was one really messy kitchen cupbaird that she could "tidy" while I got on with other things in the kitchen.
She was so chuffed.
Of course I ended up with an entire bag of flour on the kitchen floor, so suggest you give your boys "safe" stuff.
And I know what you feel like...any chance of a friend or relative taking the boys out for an hour?

My boys are 3 and 22 months Poppy. DH and I have agreed to try and do more in the evenings over a glass of wine. Agree with you Maggsie distraction does work but I often end up with more to sort out. See example with masking tape. No one seems to be able to take care of my two. Even my mum refuses to take the two of them.

Noce to know I am not alone though.

Goodness that's a challenge!

All I can think is making them a 'safe area' like a play pen allowing lots of snacks and letting them explore some of the stuff while you and DH get on. Take turns to go in the play pen area with them but make clear how long for. I sometimes set a timer "When it goes off Mummy will go and empty the dishwasher". Could perhaps rig up the portable TV there for them too!

Perhaps reward them for letting you get on with the snacks little things like Humzinger bars, chocolate raisins maybe or whatever you allow.

I know it sounds like hard work but what choice do we have?!!? I am lucky that my parents will take my two (under duress).

I lock mine in a cupboard for 10 hours a day. Works well.

as long as you give them a treat after they won't mind.

LOL Hercules - if only. Mmmm. I will just battle on. Not sure they will stay in a play pen for any length of time. They are very good at team work on getting in and out of things. Just imagine them climbing out and smacking head on floor causing more trouble than its worth. I think I wil;l have to do it in small time slots until they get hooked up to the playstation and I have swathes of time to myself.

Kids are in bed. Time to break open the garage.

It will get better. Seemed like we couldn't get anything done last year with DCs around but now they are 3 and 5 they will play alone or together and we can leave them to sort out their own disputes unless they have come to blows...
Sometimes they want to join in so depending on the job I might take them out so DH can get on in peace or vice versa.

If you have to do stuff at night, set a timer for 15 mins. It's amazing how much stuff you can get done in 15 mins, if you feel you are 'under the clock'. I know it sounds a bit stupid, but this method of getting things done has really transformed my life.

It might work for them too, i.e. tell them that you need them to do 'said activity' until the timer goes off and then you will play with them. Sort of make it into a game...? ...or not But when you have got time uninterrupted try the timer thing, it really works.

There have been so many jobs I have put off coz they seemed so massive and I didn't think I had time to tackle them, and I have been amazed at how many I have managed to polish off in one 15 minute stint, (which I would never have believed in a million years) and other that have taken only a few days at 15 mins at a time. It's just that we think that we have to do it all at once, and that 15 mins won't have any impact at all, and it really, really does. hth.

Great advice cubby. Had just half an hour last night on a few bags from the garage. Little and often is the key isn't it? Like the idea with the timer as well. Might try that later today.
Thank you other side - things are starting to get easier - it's getting there.