Social cues concerns

[wallpaperthecracks]

My LO is 3 nearly 4 and we went to soft play today. He loves making friends and enjoys play dates etc. He really wanted to meet up with his little bestie today but she was at a club. Anyway, when we get there he starts running about with a group of slightly older kids but basically they were there together and didn't want him tagging along and kept running away from him. He kept coming out and crying and I tried to tell him to go and play with someone else but he just kept kicking off. It was embarrassing and I tried to encourage him to go and make other friends but it was like he got fixated on playing with them and wouldn't budge. I didn't really know what to do in the end and came away feeling miserable. It's worried me that he couldn't really read the social cues they were giving off and now I'm just feeling a bit worried in general 😫

This on its own is not something to worry about. Kids do stuff like that.

There must be other things going on that are making you concerned?

I used to worry about him a lot because he had a speech delay and this impacted other areas- making friends, lots of frustration etc and I worried there was something more going on. Then we found a really good speech therapist and something just clicked last year and now he's exactly where he should be on all areas. We've just had a parents evening and his pre school gave him a glowing report and I came away thinking all that time I spent worrying about him and now he's doing amazing, has really good friendships etc. But then today just took me straight back to that place of worry and anxiety and thinking why would he not just go and play with other kids? I don't want that to be my default setting but I worry about him/for him a lot

Just explain at another time sometimes people come with other kids or siblings and dont play with others at all. But some kids are happy to play with new people, he just needs to look for those who are looking for someone.
You can say directly do you see they know esch other and are running away

I wouldnt worry too much it would become clearer at school as kids tend to be blunt and say not to play unfortunately.

Or ask him to say do you want to play or shall we do xyz.

Maybe he did pick up on it afterall you were saying too but more an issue of stubborness

My dd is having asd referral and actually she used to be ok about approaching others at the park etc. It was more an issue later on and in school

I think this isn't unusual behaviour at 3. My DD tells every child who gives her the time of day and that they're now best friends and the other child just looks confused.

Let's name the worry - you're worried he is autistic. Worrying won't change who he is, your lovely little boy with strengths and weaknesses like any human. He's doing well and that's great! He's still young so just see how things go

That has been my worry but only out of concern for him. I just wanted him to have a nice time yesterday, I didn't want him being upset because these kids didn't want to play with him and to feel left out