Last nap of the day issues

[Supermonks]

Hi,

My 3 mo is resisting his last nap of the day at around 5pm.

All day naps go swimmingly, with wake windows of 1-1.5 hrs. He sleeps OK at night, wakes 3 times, goes down around 7.30-8pm and Wakes at 7-8AM.

So, the last nap... I take him to his cot which has a nanit camera to monitor his breathing. I black out the room, white noise and his nursery rhyms too. Rock him, give his pacifier but as soon as his head is down, he cries. This continues for c. 30 mins of me picking him up and trying again. Then i worry his nappy is wet, so i do that again. Then i feed him a measely half ounce, and it's back upstairs until i give up. He then cries in the living room, I'm trying to distract him. This goes on until my husband gets back and then he usually fixes it after some time and patience. Usually at around 7-7.30 or even closer to 8pm.

If i had another child, this would be impossible, i make my own dinner let alone another child.

I'm a first time Mum, Advice appreciated. This happens every single day. I want to break this cycle.

I've tried waking him up from the penultimate nap earlier, feeding him later in the wake window... I'm at a loss.

Also tried bathing before bed.

At that age my DS started bringing bedtime earlier, could you try dropping the nap altogether and doing bed around 6?

Ah thank you. Will that mean that he will wake up earlier in the morning? I'll give it a go

I should also mention that this all kicks off around 5pm , then we seem to loose up to 3 hrs trying to get him down

I'd try pushing his afternoon nap later, and then still put him to bed at 7pm, missing out the nap entirely. He's probably just not ready to sleep! They change fast at that age. My two had dropped the extra late afternoon by 3 months (if I recall correctly- it's been 12 years now!)

And you'll have to get used to him/her being awake and needy when you're trying to cook /clean etc as they sleep less and less. You just get used to multi-tasking, and being very efficient, cutting corners and generally just leaving stuff that doesn't absolutely need to be done!

Ha it may well mean he wakes up earlier, they change so much at that age but it's worth a shot! The other thing about naps in general is - if you're trying for 25-30mins with no luck, give up and do something else and return to it when they yawn 😁 that was a rule I ended up living by after spending god knows how long rocking an awake baby in a dark room! Also if you're on Instagram I really recommend heysleepybaby for sleep advice (and realistic content about infant sleep which in general is really wild and we're all just muddling along with it)

I would say 3mo is too young to skip the last nap unless the other day naps are very long/late. What do the other naps look like?

It is quite common for the last nap to be the trickiest - even Gina Ford (who is generally hard line about self settling) says the last nap may need to be “assisted” eg using a walk in the buggy or sling or rocking to sleep.

I'm also a FTM, I'm winging it by the way, my baby is 4month.

I've dropped the last nap. I don't let him nap after 5.. play til 6. Bath and then a warm bottle. In bed for 7. Hes usually pretty good (but I think we're hitting the regression) and goes down about 7/7:30 for 12 hours. He isn't much of a day time napper.

Ah thanks, well he does 20 mins first nap, around 30-40 mins for the next couple then he does a long one at 2-3 pm for two hours. That's the one which i think could be setting us up for a problem

Sounds like you're trying to get him to sleep when he's not ready for it. At that age daytime sleeps are advised to be in the same room/area as you rather than upstairs by themselves.

Yes 2-3 pm is late for a 2 hour nap. Would he sleep longer at one of the earlier naps?

He just doesnt stay down for the early ones unless i contact nap , its a weird daily routine we've got into where he sleeps independently but by the looks of things, not very well in the day

Problem is he won't go to sleep in the living room even if i turn on white noise , but I'll persevere. Thank you

Have you tried other methods of getting him to sleep? Contact nap or put in the pram or sling and walk around the block a few times.

If he won't go to sleep, doesn't it probably just mean he's not ready for sleep? Each baby is individual, and it's futile trying to force them in to some kind of rigid "textbook" routine.

You'll very likely be much more relaxed about scheduling with any subsequent children you have - most parents are. I think you need to be more open to allowing your baby to find its own sleep rhythms, whilst ensuring they fit around your rhythms as far as possible (ie if your baby wakes routinely at 3am and stays awake for 2 hours, then you need to adjust sleep patterns away from this)... but religiously following a Gina Ford-type schedule in the day when it's just not working isn't helping anyone.

Ds at that age would only routinely nap on the move. So around 4-4.30pm I would aim to take him out for a walk in pram. If he fell asleep I could wheel him home and he might stay asleep in pram . If not then well we both got a little walk and fresh air anyway. He would usually only nap around 30mins at that time.

This, he needs a walk at this time. TBH dinner prep is much easier to do earlier in the day.