Not too sure where to put this.
DH works two jobs. I haven't worked for a couple of years while I dealt with some health problems as well as depression and severe anxiety. I have been a sahp, 3 children. We've had a small amount of tax credits to help.
I'm doing a lot better and desperate to get back to work so we can get our life back. However, I'm worried about the logistics.
DC1. Diagnosed dyspraxia and undiagnosed adhd, severe anxiety and suicidal thoughts (been on waiting list for camhs for 1 year+). Is having serious problems with her periods that are interfering with her schooling and pushing for a gyne referal. I often have to walk her into school as she will refuse to go due to anxiety and ongoing difficulties. Sometimes, I have to meet with pastoral support during school hours to support her. She has occasional hospital appointments for her hearing too.
DC2. Has recurring hospital appointments once every 3 months, sometimes more.
DC3. Appears to have some kind of low immunity. Nothing imparticular and has had formal testing to no avail but picks up every single bug going. Has had 5 pretty bad illnesses back to back since the end of December, including a hospital admission. Their whole life has been like this but "nothing formal" to explain why. Has recurring hospital appointments in addition every 4 months.
Aside from all of this, I have various medical appointments, and the DC all have optician appointments and all 3 have a fair amount of illness. They get it from me - I have been relentlessly unwell for a month now and its been a struggle. Everyone takes vitamins and has a good diet and plenty of sleep. We're just very unlucky. My average week, I am run ragged between illness, various hospital appointments, meetings with school and trying to keep DC1 on an even keel. I have very little time at home without there being an ill child - when I do have a moment I am job hunting.
None of the above came to light until after DC3 was born. Up until now, I have covered everything. DH works in an industry whereby he cannot work from home, to do a different job he would need to retrain and would take a significant pay drop. When he has covered child illness in the past (when I was working and we shared the load) his employer bradford scored his time off for dependents because it was so high. In the end, he found a more understanding employer, but equally that coincided with me being around to pick up everything.
I'm becoming more and more concerned about how we will manage all of this with me working. I do aim to work from home, but even so, I know I need to be realistic. Our support network is minimal. My parents have just been diagnosed with life limiting conditions, are extremely clinically vulnerable and cannot look after our children when ill (they helped before). SIL previously helped but has just started uni. So it's just the two of us to manage this huge amount which feels to us like a full-time job in itself.
We are due to switch to universal credit shortly and they want me to spend 30 hours a week job hunting. I'm already job hunting but i don't physically have this time, so I'm a bit worried about that too. Aside giving up sleep, but I know I need the sleep to keep my depression and anxiety at bay.
I'm hoping I find something suitable soon. My main concern is that I don't have the "time" to work. Last week alone I spent 15 hours at the hospital and 3 hours in other appointments. It's a fairly normal week for us. I just don't know how we're going to manage it but we can't survive without more than my husbands income (as I say, at the moment tax credits is plugging the gap, although quality of life isn't great). I just need a bit of advice on how to navigate this change. I'm so very desperate to start earning again and better our life, it just feels so impossible with how things are for us.