Stressed with autism

[Worrieddad1237]

Hi

I am going to seem like the worst parent in the world but I am really struggling with my son who is going through autism tests. Tonight he just would not listen again and kept blanking me and I just really shouted at him. So loud that he covered his ears and was frightened. I feel bad but I am just struggling to get him to understand to do things and it just takes it out of me with working full time and trying to get time with the other child.

Any advice from parents dealing with autism how to remain calm and just get them on board.

Thanks for reading.

No personal experience myself, OP, but bumping for you, this in the hope that someone who does have useful advice to offer will reply.

Oh OP I understand how incredibly frustrating it can feel when everything is a battle, even trying to get their attention to give an instruction. No judgement here, I have lost patience and raised my voice. I find that often my patience is lowest when I'm expecting ND youngest boy to respond in the same way as NT older brother. It really has taken alot of work and retraining myself to adapt my interactions to whichever child I am currently dealing with. I'm still not perfect but I try my hardest to put myself in his mind. Sure it can be frustrating for me but I know sometimes that the whole world surrounding him is frustrating on every level, I just try to make it more palatable for him (especially whilst he's only 3).

I'm not sure how old your son is so the support available may differ from my experience but I have found the specialist HV team in my area absolutely amazing at understanding our frustrations and they offer actual tried and tested practical advice. There may be a similar team in your area - or whatever clinic you are dealing with for his diagnostic tests may be able to signpost you to support groups in the area.

I found that just knowing I'm not the only one dealing with this has helped alot. Please know you are not the first and certainly won't be the last parent to go through this. You are not a terrible mother - if you were you wouldn't be feeling any guilt about what happend. You are amazing don't ever forget that.

I'm so sorry I've just noticed your username - I'll add my correction
You are not a terrible father *

I've a 19 year old with severe autism and a 10 year old with high functioning autism and it's blooming difficult at times.
My only advice is he's not giving you an hard time he's having an hard time so as long as he's somewhere safe walk away and give yourself some time to breathe x
Shouting (we've all done it ) only throws fuel in the fire so walk away x

Just a message to say there are many of us in the same boat.
Some days are very very hard and I think I feel like I'm a bad parent several times a day.

I think reading or learning more about autism and autistic traits will help you.

many traits are a response to stimuli and the individual can’t help it. The more you understand their needs and responses the easier you will find it, but you are allowed to struggle as well.

it obviously depends on age of child,

I have an autistic child and partner, it’s a huge challenge some days,

Maybe he needs extra time to process before responding? Or doesn't feel a need to reply? Something that crops up a lot in my house then my kids point out I'm the same, oops.