"A taboo subject that shouldn't be"

[emkana]

Found this and thought it quite interesting.

I agree with the last two paragraphs, but on the sensual pleasures of b/feeding I'm not sure. I have breastfed three children for nearly eight years now and while I have obviously liked it I can honestly say that there was never any pleasure involved that was akin to sexual experiences with another adult.

Good article. I defintely felt the oxytocin rush whilst breastfeeding which I think I would describe as a sensual pleasure, but not a sexual pleasure, because the context is so significantly different.

My gut feeling is that arousal is a physiological process and can be caused by lots of different stimuli, but with our brains being our most erotic organ and all that, whether or not we experience this as sexual arousal is dictated by the way we think about the stimulus. And those overwhelming floods of maternal love would overpower anything sexual, I think?

I enjoyed feeding my two children. It was not a sexual pleasure, it was a feeling of happiness, of contentment.

Emkana, if you re-post this in the feeding section tomorrow you'll probably get a load more replies

Sorry I've just realised that sounded v patronising - I bet you've been on here 3x longer than me and had made a conscious decision to post where you wanted to - sorry! Bossy big sister, as if you couldn't tell!

No it's okay you have a point.

Was thinking about posting it in the feeding section, but then thought it's about more than that.

Might do it though.

I like the article, not sure whether the use of sensual is the right one though. simply because technically it is right if you take the meaning that it's descrbiing sensory feelings, but not when sensual these days is more likely to mean sexual, which is a completely different thing

I think that they've written a descriptive piece about breastfeeding, in a non-sexual way, but knowing that people will read more into it and not realise what it's about until later in the passage.
very clever

Good article.

I think sensual and sexual are different things tbh.

I derived a great amount of pleasure in b/feeding my children, once the discomfort and other problems I'd had were overcome. Particularly when waking in the morning and being very engorged. The whole process was a mixture of happiness, relief, love, closeness, intimacy, comfort, nurturing, flooding hormones and many other things I can't even begin to put as eloquently as in that article.

Very interesting article. Has anyone read Naomi Wolf's book 'Misconceptions'? She writes that apparently some women have actually orgasmed during breastfeeding. Also some women have been known to reach climax giving birth, as the g-spot is stimulated when the baby passes through the birth canal. When coupled with the fact that some birth experts recommend that the couple should get frisky during labour so as to help things along, I think that makes for a less than clear-cut picture of the role of our bodies' sexual responses.

I bf'd my DS for 14 months and enjoyed the connection, tenderness, etc - but did not find it remotely sexual. But our bodies are all different, aren't they? If the examples I've listed above are true, perhaps those distinctions are simply more blurred in some women's bodies?

I have experienced sensual pleasure in feeding both my children. The sensation of release and satisfaction, the tingling of let down. Obviously I have also found feeding to be at various times, painful, boring, irritating and of course very loving and maternal.

But I do think that to sterilise or separate bf from other adult feelings is a mistake. Bf is very intimate and that includes sensual feelings sometimes, for some. It is a shame if these perfectly normal feelings get hidden in the scary, distorting hype surrounding paedophillia.

An interesting article. I certainly adore hugging, holding and looking at my DS, but am beginning to feel like I've majorly missed out on something breastfeeding wise.

I don't know if I've ever derived that much pleasure from it. In the early days I just worried so much about whether I was doing it right and all the silly questions health professionals ask you to disguise the fact they want to know "how much is he having?"

DS has been such a fidget from about 5 months on that I mostly feel a bit beaten up and pummelled and tired and used up, though I must like it enough to keep doing it. He is 2.5 now. Reading articles and posts like this really does make me feel like I've missed out on something.

the erotic is born of early attachment experiences! babies are sensual beings....pure senses if you like....lolling, feeding, milky, skin on skin.

adult sexuality and adult ability to be intimate is in large part born of our babyhoods, our infant experiences.

there is nothing remotely perverse in that, and an understanding of it can help us understand why things can go wrong in adulthood, why intimacy is difficult, why emotions and physical experiences are chronically cut off from each other as examples.

it is a fascinating topic and one which I have a huge interest in.

Good post Sophable.

I love the way my babies have stroked my face/hair/whatever they can lay their chubby little hands on...not just because of how lovely it has felt between us two, but because instinctively, it feels as though this is the foundation for them enjoying happy, healthy relationships in the future.

It is a very interesting topic but one which is fraught with social anxiety I think...good to be able to discuss it.

we're in the tumbleweed zone here though aren't we finemess? not exactly heaving in here is it?

Oh it's being read - i can assure you of that.

It's a clear distinction from my point of view but we often laugh as Moomintroll looks at my knockers and gives a huge leary grin with his eyes shining full of appetite - he looks just like Moominpop !

Have to shyly admit that I did find bf'ing somewhat sexual, almost to the point of orgasm but also maternal and snuggly.
Was unable to bf'd for more than 48hours in hospital (c-section, complications, too poorly etc) but did use breast pump for 2 months once at home. It wasn't with the same sensation tho. Have got dh to nearly replicate the feeling
whispers don't tell anyone!

Interesting article. I think the passage of writing described is intended to be provocative. There is a well-known confusion in society about breasts - hence the men who don't want their wives to breastfeed.

When I was breastfeeding, it did cross my mind (i.e. the thought that it could be deemed sexual) but it didn't 'feel' sexual. Different context, different hormones. If anything, I found the physical sensation 'irritating'. I often didn't want a baby (even my baby!) attached to my front but when a baby is crying for food, it is the lesser of the two evils. And I wanted to do what I saw as the right thing, to breastfeed.

But I definitely experienced the oxytocin effect. I didn't look forward to it but I calmed down once it had started into a feeling of relaxation and peace. I recognised that it was the best way to bond with her. I enjoyed the intimacy, feeling needed, feeling able to do something important for my child, especially when she fell asleep afterwards. That was a huge sense of satisfaction to give my child that comfort.

And yes it is lovely to cuddle their little bodies. Small, fresh, beautiful unjaded innocence, spontaneity, their wriggling flexibility, soft skin, giggles, to watch the way they move. A sensual experience, not sexual. It is the amazement that I feel that I have produced something so imperfectly perfect. That I am her mother. But part of it is akin to the feeling that I get about any baby animal - a kitten, a foal - the maternal feeling, the cute-ness, the big eyes, the grace of new life.

I remember seeing a documentary on tv about an experiment on monkeys separated from their mothers and left in bare cages. They reacted in the same way as the poor children left in those orphanages in Romania or Bulgaria - rocking, banging their head against the cage, failing to develop phycially as well as mentally, slowly going mad.

Maybe there are people who find the sensual experience sexually arousing but I think most people, men and women, instinctively know that it is something different - that physical bonding between parent and child, the cuddles and kisses, is one of the most important parts of the child's development. Nature makes it pleasurable/sensual for both parties to make sure it happens.

Probably gone a bit off topic here but...

i read that too. I adore/d feeding my kids, and it's definately a sensual experience. the soft skin, the clasping clinging hands, the warmth. Sometimes (when he's not biting or pinching me!) it feels like the long cuddles DH and i used to have when we first met- silent, warm, comforting, loving etc. Not sure if i'd describe it as sexual though.