I was going to have a 3rd dc, but now I think I've changed my mind - and I feel liberated!

[hermionegrangerat34]

Title says it all really. I've been thinking and thinking about having another for the last 6-8 months, and have gone so far as to have the coil out and start temping. Having another had become a foregone conclusion (though I always prefaced the conversation with 'we're nuts but...'!). Then a couple of weeks ago I suddenly woke up and thought, 'you know, I don't have to do this.' And the weird thing is, how liberated and relaxed and calm I suddenly feel!
Not really sure what I'm asking or saying but felt the need to share and see what came back...!

Congratulations, I think - as you say there are no rules on this!

Congrats! I think that knowing your family is complete must be a nice feeling.

However, you know how peverse hormones can be...there's no chance that you are, already, in actual fact (whispers) pregnant?!?!?!? And that all of this serenity is some kind of first trimester symptom?

perverse I mean. Doh.

Ha, AFM - I did actually do a test this morning just to check!!
I think (whispers) the broodiness was partly because I was 'mourning' the fact I wouldn't have a girl - have two gorgeous, gorgeous sons. And maybe just 'mourning' the end of the baby stage too (ds2 is nearly 3). That and moving to a big house that we seem to rattle around in a bit!! (Nice problem to have, I know!).
I just feel in a very calm place at the moment (and it would be useless to deny that money etc etc will be easier if we stick to the original plan of just 2). I suppose I was wondering if anyone else had had this and then changed their minds later (when it might be too late...), or had this and later felt it was absolutely right? Pathetic really, needing/wanting mumsnet confirmation for every passing thought!!

Not pathetic, they're pretty huge decisions after all. Your thread caught my eye straight away as DH and I are going for his pre-vasectomy chat on Fri - we have 2 DCs but have decided against any more for financial/childcare/plans-to-adopt-in-the-future reasons, so it was reassuring to hear that someone who could have more children was happy to stop at 2.

I tihnk that you should have a nice big glass of wine to celebrate, now that you know that you can do so guilt-free!

Oh, and by the way, my MIL had 2 boys and then has ended up with 4 granddaughters - I know that's ages away for you yet but I suppose I'm clumsily trying to say that it doesn't mean that you'll never get to love and adore a girly in your family!

Well, you know that's another funny thing AFM (we are so on the same wave length!) - I've been drinking wine like there's no tomorrow for the last couple of weeks!!! Can't deny its nice...

I'm not MEGA into having a girl - can't stand pink for example! I just think that may have been semi-sub-consciously behind getting broody again (I do tend to over-analyse...)And in fact I have a lovely relationship with my MIL (who has 2 sons),and am looking forward to that as a possibility (all the anti-MIL threads make me very sad).

AFM - we stopped at 2 (boys) and I was sterilised. We went on to adopt a little girl.

OOh, I like this thread! How long have you had your little girl Janni? How's it working out?

Hermione - perhaps having a MIL with 2 sons makes for a better MIL somehow? Mine is really laid-back, wouldn't dream of interfering and seems to genuinely love her DILs as much as her new granddaughters. And hey - you too can be this fab MIL now that you know you're stopping at 2 boys! Now that's something else to raise a glass to eh?

8 months, AFM It's very hard work, but probably no more so than a third biological child - different challenges though.

Post in adoption if you want to chat

I'm with you on this. Have 2 DDs, and would probably like a third DC but for financial reasons, peaceful life reasons, space in house reasons, generally can't be arsed reasons... we have decided not to.

I wonder if part of me will always regret that decision, but at the moment anyway the regret part isn't big enough to go down the whole 9 months of hell, 12 hours of agony, 3 months of misery making one hellish year route.

lol at 'generally can't be arsed reasons'

Yes, I like 'generally can't be arsed reasons' too! Very descriptive.