New mum guilt

[redxlondon]

I had a caesarean with a few complications less than two weeks ago. The recovery has been awful but starting to get a lot more mobile and went for a very short walk outside yesterday.

The mum guilt is crippling me. I feel useless coping with lack of sleep. Husband and I have been splitting the night in two, and on advice of midwife combo feeding.

Last night from 10pm to 1:30am little man just wouldn’t settle, I was crying so husband took over. I then woke up at 7am. I felt so guilty that I’d slept for nearly 6 hours. I breastfed straight away but all these thoughts are going through my head

• I shouldn’t be sleeping for 6 hours with a newborn
• My milk supply is going to be ruined going 6 hours without feeding, so should I just stop now and switch to formula entirely?
• How will I cope when DH goes back to work next week and I want to support him more.

I just don’t know how I can do this.

First baby?
Don't panic. You're doing fine. Keep feeding combo if that works for you. Maybe find a breast feeding cafe or support group for a bit of reassurance.
You're milk won't go off for not nursing for a few hours.
The sleep deprivation is awful. Every single new parent struggles with it. It doesn't last forever and you will cope.
Take all and any support on offer! Keep your expectations around housework and cooking very low. Prioritise your well being and the baby above everything else. The first 6 weeks are like nothing else on earth, then after about 3 months it gets easier - you'll feel more confident and the baby will settle into more routines.

It’s so hard in the beginning as a new mum. But finding it hard to deal with lack of sleep is not something to feel guilty about, it’s normal! The baby not settling for ages in the early weeks, especially when you’re establishing breast feeding is also normal. They are probably cluster feeding. It feels endless but they do get through it and begin feeding at more regular times and doing it more speedily. I’m glad your dh is also stepping in and able to help. My dh and I divided the nights up in the first few weeks of all of our babies. And specifically on the sleeping 6 hours but still wanting to breastfeed. I had issues with my epilepsy in my third pregnancy and had to get a good chunk of sleep each night as I was still recovering, so my baby had a formula feed each night from almost the start. Breastfeeding still established very well and an advisor said that, while advice would say it’s not best, it doesn’t mean your milk supply will automatically dry up and you’ll have to stop. So don’t assume you’ve caused an issue simply by getting the sleep you need. You’re already 2 weeks in and your feeding will be established and many people resort to a formula feed here or there to help them get some sleep simply in order to be able to carry on. It will all get easier and you’ll find your way when your husband is back at work. But don’t feel pressure to get up and be out and about if a lazier pace at home while you figure it all out feels best.