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Toddler only wants daddy since new baby

4 replies

wheresmy · 18/02/2024 04:31

Hi I'm 6 days post partum so granted hormones are wild but I'm really upset. My 17 month old dd has always been a daddy's girl, she really loves him, he gets a round of applause when he comes in from work etc lol but since I've had our new baby she is really rejecting me. I'm trying so hard to make her feel included, giving her extra attention and everything I think you're probably supposed to do but she just isn't interested in me, she just wants her daddy. When she is upset she won't come to me etc and I feel really sad about it all. I was feeling really guilty anyway as she isn't the baby anymore and this is just confirming she must feel sad too. She is still so young and I know doesn't understand properly yet what's going on, but she knows there is a change because she's been so clingy the last couple of days and literally won't let dh put her down.

She will occasionally look at the baby with this confused look and her face breaks my heart !!
The last couple of months dh has done alot of stuff like getting her ready in the mornings/taking her to bed because I've been so huge and uncomfortable and she is so strong I physically have struggled with her but she never rejected me until now.
Will it get better ?? I miss my little girl

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ImustLearn2Cook · 18/02/2024 04:44

Oh, I am sure it will get better. She is still adjusting. Does she see her dad holding the baby much?

wheresmy · 18/02/2024 07:09

ImustLearn2Cook · 18/02/2024 04:44

Oh, I am sure it will get better. She is still adjusting. Does she see her dad holding the baby much?

Yeah she does, he is brilliant with splitting his time between them both and also encouraging dd1 to come to me too. I don't think it helps I can't pick her up atm due to c section. I'll never forget the look on her face when they came to pick me up from the hospital and I was on the bed holding dd2 😆 she was like what the hell!!

I hope it's just a phase, maybe it will get better once dh is back at work ?

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CadyEastman · 18/02/2024 08:38

It will get better I promise. It's such a confusing time for them. You've been PG and they can sense there's something different. You've been to hospital and now there's a baby in the house.

Luckily she's at an age where she won't remember there not being a baby soon abd they are fairly close in age.

Let DH take her out as much as he can and you concentrate on the baby and recovery as much as you can.

Once DH is back at work and DD1 is back in her usual rountine she'll be fine, although she'll still probably be happy to see DH when he arrives home.

Congratulations on your new LO too Flowers

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Treacletreacle · 18/02/2024 08:48

Apparently my sister (4 years older, so more than your daughter) told my mum to shove me back up her jumper when she came to the hospital to first visit me. Its the family joke as she was the first child first grandchild.
You're daughter will just take awhile to process what is going on. What a pleasure it reads to see you're husband is being such a good dad. Make sure you rest as much as you can and try not to worry she will soon come around to the baby and get used to the new set up. Congratulations.

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