Husband being difficult

[FG416]

Hi,
Hoping someone on here can give me some sort of comfort as I’m feeling very alone.
My husband and I welcomed a healthy, perfect DD (our second DD) 5 weeks ago after some struggles with losses and conception.
Since she’s been born my husband has been quite detached from us all. He huffs when asked to help me with things and has become quite lazy. Only really wanting to sit on his phone (scrolling on Facebook) or watching tv. He’s put on weight and is snappy with me a lot (to be fair I’m snappy with him too - newborn stresses!) but has made some nasty comments that he knows I’ll find hurtful. He’s normally kind and supportive me is my best friend and I hate saying it but right now I don’t actually like him as a person.
Has anyone had any similar experiences postpartum? When I try to speak to him he says he’s fine or snaps at me saying I’m ‘nipping at him’ x

Just wanted to send you a hug and bump this thread. Congrats on your little one!

So he shuts down conversation by saying that you’re nagging. That could be seen as abusive.
Is there any chance that he is disappointed in a second girl?

Sounds really difficult for you. Is he taking DC1 out much?

@DustyLee123 we knew we were having another girl and he was delighted. After all the struggles we had to have a 2nd we were both just so happy she’s here and healthy.
@CadyEastman he’s definitely not engaging much with our eldest and so she always wants me. If he tries to do things with her she shouts for me and I hear him saying “suit yourself” instead of making an effort.

I feel like I’ve got a stroppy teenager as well as 2 young children. He’s absolutely addicted to his phone - and it’s either replying to work emails (nothing sinister -we work together so I can see them) or sitting on Facebook all the time. Last night he started doing work emails at 10pm (on a Saturday night) and when I asked him to come off his phone he got huffy so I just went through to our bedroom. It’s really getting to me now.

Can you talk to him somewhere neutral? Have you got DGPs that would be happy to have DD1 for a couple of hours whist you go somewhere together or just for a drive and you tell him how you're feeling?

He's feeling excluded and unimportant, maybe. So your older child is wanting you more, the newborn needs you, you are exhausted... your DH is having a sulk because nobody loves him or appreciates him in his eyes.

Either give him time to wake up to what a wanker he's being, or have a heart to heart with him about his experience of the last few weeks. Good luck

When aren't they bloody difficult. The simple fact of the matter is that he is a giant toddler, like most men who haven't grown up properly and become real men, who feels the baby is getting more attention than him and probably sex has not been on the cards for a while.

What was he like after your eldest was born? If he isn’t usually like this I’d be concerned. Sounds like he’s depressed? I’d have a frank conversation with him and say your behaviour is out of order and out of character. I’m concerned. Get along to the gp.