Single mum and a csection

[gigigig]

I'm expecting my first baby and been told I need to have a csection.

I have no family support and will be alone.

I'm a bit worried I just won't be able to manage.

Does anyone have any experience?

It’s tricky but tbh my C-section recovery with DC2 was pretty much the same in terms of immobility as my vaginal birth with DC1 that ended in an episiotomy and forceps, so there’s no guarantee a vaginal birth would leave you more mobile. Also great that it’s DC1 and therefore no toddlers needing to be picked up etc.

Others will be along with the practical tips (eg having a dressing gown cord on hand to pull you up from the bed) but just to reassure you, it’s not necessarily a harder recovery. And electives are much easier to recover from than emergencies from what I understand - so forewarned is better!

I have quite a brood of children and had all natural vaginal births with my older lot. I had my baby back in October I ended up with a semi emergency c-section after failed induction. Honestly the hardest bit for me was being unable to pick my toddler up or help with the heavy load. In regards to my LO I had no issues lifting her from her Moses basket and feeding her or changing her. Getting up to get myself a drink/food/bathroom etc... I was slow but if I was sensible it was doable. For me by day 10 I was much more mobile and capable of doing some of the lighter household chores without being in to much pain.
Congratulations and good luck OP

Could you afford to hire somebody to help you for the first 2 weeks or so?

You will manage. I have had 2 c sections one emergency one elective and recovery isn’t as bad as it’s exaggerated to be (for me anyway) my DH is self employed and we literally couldn’t afford for him to be off more than a couple days after my section which left me alone with a child of nearly 2 and a newborn. Have u any friends nearby ?
I think ur main struggle will be housework so if u can get a friend or afford to pay a cleaner to help with housework and washings thst maybe good.

I had a C-section and 3 older kids under 6 to look after so a 5 year old 4 year old 2 year old and newborn. I did it alone as ex left me when pregnant and had no family support. I managed fine you will be surprised what you can manage when you have no choice in the matter. I wouldn’t have paid for a stranger to be around as wouldn’t have felt comfortable with that. Its doable and MW/HV knew I was alone and wasn’t concerned

I could afford the a cleaner I think.

My worries and things like getting in and out of bed at night, walking up and down the stairs with the baby

I've had all 3 of mine via CS and I just wanted to say try not to worry too much.
Am elective is great because you will know your date beforehand and will be able to prep a bit. Get some easy to prep foods and snacks that will be handy to eat. (Keep some snacks in the bedroom for easy access!)

Don't be in too big of a rush to leave hospital, the more rest you get in that first week that better.

And for that matter don't feel bad if when you get home if you stay in bed for the first week. Have spare clothes, nappies, snacks etc in the bedroom at easy reach.

Keep on top of your pain medication for the first week. make yourself a little timetable of what you have to take and when.

Don't worry about the housework or cleaning, only do what is essential, resting is more important

My husband is self employed and never took any time off so I might as well have been on my own for all he did 🙈

Just take things easily and slowly. You could use a stretchy wrap so you have 2 free hands going down the stairs? With getting out of bed roll onto your side, use your arms to help you sit up and then stand. If you keep up with the pain meds you will feel a whole lot better in a week or so.

I didn’t have any issues holding the baby or walking up and down stairs, the only thing that hurt was sitting down and getting back up but that was temporary obviously lasted a few days. Once I was mobile in the hospital I had no issues walking up and down stairs or carrying the baby. It’s really not as bad as you think.

Tell your midwife you have no help. They won't kick you out of hospital till you feel ready. Stay in as long as you can . If you can't afford help and have no friends nearby There might be local help like a home start volunteer?
If this was me I'd be tempted to ask around for good babysitters and get one booked in for at least three hours a day.

I found it hard to get in and out of bed and up and down stairs. If you're in a house you might want to consider putting a mini fridge with ready meals upstairs and a kettle etc for tea and washing up liquid in the bathroom so you don't need to
Go up and down too much.

I'm so sorry that you don't have any friends that you can ask to stay x

Take your stool sampler meds as the consolation is no joke

• constipation

Buy a wedge pillow off amazon or similar - it really helped me post section (and before too actually with back pain etc).

I used it on the sofa so I was sitting more upright and it's then easier to get up and down (not sinking all the way into the sofa and getting stuck) and also in bed to sleep propped up for the first week or so at home, again made it much easier to get up and down in the early recovery phase.

Good luck - I was surprised at how quickly I felt mobile, by around day 4 (elective section). As others said, keep on top of pain meds.

The unknown is always daunting. If possible batch cook and freeze for yourself. Before DS was born I did this. Mainly soups with the rolls for the airfryer and easy dinners also convenience food in general.

If bottle feeding get the prepared bottles for night time,they are dearer but only short lived. Also couls be 2 or 3 less bottles to clean.Or if using a prep machine,could keep upstairs? I know then you've to come p during the day but everything is Lees daunting during the day

Arrange a food delivery for like 3 days after section,you'll be able to change the slot wr hours before IF you know you won't be home

Have a lot of vests and babygrows so washing isn't a massive priority.

If arranging a cleaner could keep all baby clothes separate to your own and have then put it on for you ans take out again before they leave

Accept any help you are comfortable with,ve nice to have a sleep but also nice to chat with an adult

Recovery was totally fine for me. I was walking about 6 hours after the operation and totally pain free after a week, and even before that the pain was very manageable - I've had worse migraines tbh.

Make sure you take your pain meds religiously (paracetamol and ibuprofen) and stagger them throughout the day.