Your experiences with exact 2 year age gap

[lpylu]

DS turns 2 in September and sibling is due 2 weeks after his birthday. Very curious to know first hand experience.

Don't think DS will be able to communicate well but a lot can change in 7 months.

How did you handle telling work with such a little gap between mat leaves and what are the pros and cons of this gap! I know there are a list for each. We are nervous but so so excited.

I wouldn’t worry too much about work. A two year gap means you’ll have been back at work for a year. People have much smaller gaps and go back to work heavily pregnant.

It isn’t easy but you get used to it and find your own way. Things to consider are potty training and getting about. Do you want both in nappies? I waited until 28 months as couldn’t face potty training and weaning. You could try before second one is born as it will be summer but they may not be ready then. Double pram or pram and buggy board or sling and pushchair? I had a pram which I could double which was a lifesaver as my older one has a tendency to run off.

The double nursery fees aren’t great but they are just starting to play nicely with each other at nearly 2 and 4. Sleep has been disrupted since number 1 born so at least we are used to it by now! Hopefully that will change in the next few months!

Ours are 2 years apart, was tough at the start as eldest was a chilled baby and youngest was the opposite! Just got to get through it really, but they’ve always been really close and I think that’s the main advantage - they like similar things at the same ages.

My blood pressure went through the roof.
My toddler got most of my attention, the baby tagged along.
Luckily, neither of them remember these days.

Stressful to start with. The toddler was not keen on new baby and we had behaviour difficulties. Nursery helped enormously at 3 and 1 years old. Double buggy for 6 months, then a buggy board on a regular buggy. Now they play together well and have lots of fun, except when they’re trying to kill each other. Mine are 7 and 9 now. I’m glad i did it. Was a zombie at the time

How long roughly until one can expect to be out the other side of the intensity of it?

DD1 was still napping so I did a lot of walking with them both asleep in the double pushchair. Generally we did stuff for dd1, and dd2 just came along for the ride!

Re work it doesn't matter if you're back for 3 months, 3 years or 13 years, it'll be you're going on maternity leave AGAIN honestly just get it over and done with. No-one remembers how long you were back in the middle they just remember you had 2 babies.

DD1 was not remotely interested in dd2. I don't think she really acknowledged someone else had joined us for about 6 months 😁

They are 8 and 10 now and get on really well, keep each other entertainer, despite being very different characters. It's worked out really well so far.

Mine are 6 and 8 and they play a lot! They play a game called "sis" like sisters and I'm not sure what they're doing but it involves detective work, jumping on the bed, playing "bad guys", being spies, being on horse and galloping around.... etc!
They have started to really play a year ago I would say so it takes a while! It was hard at the beginning I'm not going to lie...

It is peaks and troughs I think. The first year was not so bad, just took dd2 everywhere like she was a doll. The second year was harder because obviously a 3yo is pretty quick on their feet and a 1yo really isn't. After that, it is quite tricky logistically when you're back at work and one is at school and one is at nursery. But then in no time at all they're back in the same place every day and it is fine again.

We have just under a 2 year gap. It was easy in the early days. After managing a toddler whilst being pregnant, a newborn was basically like a needy pot plant in comparison 😂 90% of the effort was the toddler (even though baby was quite high maintenance in comparison with many)

When the youngest got mobile it got hard. When she started walking it got very hard. I'd say the most intense period was from 9m - 2 years (youngests age). Then it's gradually got easier. We are now at 4&6 and it's still hard but maybe similar to how it was initially. It's a lot easier than the double toddler stage.

They are best of friends though and entertain eachother a lot now.

In have no regrets.

Quick thought regarding potty training. Don't forget that a newly toilet trained child is far harder than them being in nappies. It passes but it's a hard few weeks/months.

We toilet trained when our eldest was 2 and the baby 3m. You get good at sprinting with a baby in a sling, carrying your toddler to the nearest loo and hoping they don't leave a trail of pee on the way 😂

You're virtually at the front of the queue at the supermarket and they need a poo, you abandon it and run. Your half way through feeding your baby in a cafe and they need to go, you run to the loo (abandoning everything), and try to get your childs pants down whilst still latched on etc. it's hard.

Pick your timings, but whatever you do, do it before they are mobile 😂

I found it really hard. I went for 2 years on barely any sleep and had no downtime as a sahm. BFd dc2 until age 3 so it was hard to play or pay attention to dc1 and he just ended up with a lot of screen time. Had to stop lots of dc1's classes as I couldn't take dc2 along, but I couldn't do all the nice massage and sensory stuff for dc2 with a toddler in tow. Couldn't take dc1 swimming or to soft play or big playgrounds for a long time as he needed my help climbing which I couldn't do with a tiny baby, and they made him stay out of the baby area. Lots of conflict in the early months as dc1 was so used to our full attention, and it coincided with the terrible twos.

They didn't really play together until dc2 turned 3. Even then, dc1 was at a different stage and in school etc, and expected more sophisticated games, and had grown out of under 5s activities so they weren't into the same things. I put them into different childcare and classes so they could take turns having one to one time with me. I've never liked coping with both of them at once - DH and I tend to divide and conquer. They get on OK now they are 8 and 10.

We ended up with multiple slings and about 4 buggies at one point. I liked using a double buggy but it wasn't practical for most journeys by public transport so we had a buggy board, but it was rubbish in the rain and for longer walking stretches. At weekends when DH could help, we found it better to have a single buggy each.

It was fine for us. I was worried the toddler would feel left out after the baby arrived but actually newborns sleep a lot so I had plenty of time with the toddler. They fought over toys a little as toddles. They generally got on well and enjoyed the same things. Now DD is 13 and DS is 11. Because girls mature earlier than boys she seems soo much older than him! It feels like she's a young lady and he's a little boy.

What I loved most was somehow we managed to get them both to have a lunchtime nap at the same time.
Meant I could sleep/rest myself

The age gap is me and my older sister, I was born exactly three weeks after her second birthday. I'm not sure about pros and cons because I don't have another experience of age gap to compare to, but we have grown up being close and still are.
The only thing that really bothered me, so I'll mention it as a 'please don't do this', is that for my entire childhood my parents treated us as the older child and younger child, because they only ever saw us as a pair with one older and one younger. So whereas she got to try lots of things first and grow confidence and independence, I was babied a lot and made to wait in second place and be cautious, which has had a long lasting effect on how I see myself and live my life.

We have a 2 yr, 2wk gap between our DCs. The first 12 months was fairly brutal and something of a blur, but then I was also project managing (and doing a fair bit of the work myself on) our extension at the time. I prioritised getting out every day to wear DC1 out, which made the rest of the day easier. DC2 would mostly sleep in the buggy and I always kept my changing bag fully stocked so we could get out of the house fairly quickly and easily. The second year was still hard going but much easier. By the third year it was plain sailing.
They are 7 and 9yo now, and it's worked out brilliantly. They share interests, are happy to do the same activities/extra curriculars, mostly get on well and play together, and all the clothes have been passed down to match the seasons.

I didn't have any issues about letting work know, as I left PAYE and returned to self-employment at the end of DC1's mat leave.

Two at university isn't a fun time financially.

That's been the worse part for us. When the second one was deciding what she wanted to do after A levels I almost said to her that she could consider a gap year but stopped myself as obviously that's not fair or reasonable!

We did know it was coming but and we did save but it's still a big deal financially.

It's going to be the nursery fees that hit hard first. DS won't go to school until a week before his 5th birthday, so the overlap will be 2 full years vs 1 year overlap of uni. Aside from that, how has the rest of the journey been?

I also wouldn’t leave it too late to sort out nursery. With the funding changes I think it will be harder to get places especially 4/5 days per week.

20 months between my first two and 2.5 years between number two and number three.

I went back to work after maternity leave just pregnant, I was worried about telling them but actually nobody was bothered really, I think people expect you'll have another at some point generally.

That was the easy bit... the hard but was the two kids, going to two under two was weirdly harder than going to three under five, but I think it was because at that point my eldest couldn't talk and he was such a late walker that he was barely on his feet at 20 months. The whole first year of my second child's life is a blur, I couldn't tell you when he walked or what his first word was or anything, poor boy, but he was a TERRIBLE baby and so we were totally frazzled and sleep deprived.

The oldest two are now 8 and 6 and the absolute best of friends. Too much, sometimes, because they play together at school rather than with friends, but they are just each others bestie. It was hard when they were little but so so worth it now. Honestly, it will be great!

Oh yes, nursery fees were a killer. I don't worry about uni because they might not go and even if they do, who says I would be paying for it?

2 days and 1 day here. I don't remember much from the first 2 years. Wasn't that bad to start with - you will find your newborn so easy compared to the 2yo! Baby was strapped to me and we just went about our day as before, with BF breaks. And been there, done that - so it was so much more relaxed to look after a baby.
But about 1 and 3, when they are both mobile, but utterly unreasonable...
It's great after that though. They have the same interest, hobbies, friends.

22 months between two of mine, they’ve always been incredibly close. I’ve found it a really nice gap - played together, shared clothes, same friends, similar schoolwork etc.

Mine 2 have birthdays 8days shy of two years apart.

Having a baby and toddler is waaaayy easier then being heavily pregnant with a toddler.

The first year was very tough retrospectively because the bigger one hassling the little one but you don't realise as you are slogging through it. It's gets slowly easier during year two. Then once both are potty trained it's smooth sailing and gets nice. Mine are 4 and 6 and are best friends and the last year or two have been lovely.

Currently in the trenches of this now, 2 years and 3 months apart so a slightly larger gap. I was a bit embarrased to tell work I was pregnant again but that was totally me being silly.

as far as how is it going? 🫨 stressful. Things are starting now a year and a half in to feel a bit easier. My 3.5 year old does take up a lot of my time. She's potty training, has autism and if I take my eyes off her for a second will hurt herself or squash cake into my sofa. The only thing I don't like about it really is that my youngest dosnt get a lot of 1 on 1 time with me or dad. My 3.5 year old is in nursery 2 days a week now though so we make the most of that time together and go to the library or get the toys out and whatever just the two of us. It'll be great, hard work but great 😄

Exactly 2 years gap here. Pretty much perfect.
The first year of two was the hardest but after that it was plain sailing and the advantages of the small gap were many. They were both interested in the same things and played together right through to teens.
Also by baby number two you have learned a lot.
Nursery fees were a killer (this was before any funding existed) but even uni wasn't a huge problem.