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Parenting

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Did stopping breastfeeding improve your toddler’s sleep?

29 replies

Moonshine160 · 15/02/2024 19:32

DS is 17 months old and his sleep has always been horrendous. He gets enough sleep, it’s just very broken because he is so wakeful. He wakes numerous times a night, sometimes he will find his dummy and go back to sleep but most of the time I have to breastfeed him. He doesn’t fall asleep being fed, he goes back to sleep when I’ve put him back down but he doesn’t settle unless hes had that feed. Then within an hour he can be awake again. We’ve had the odd few weeks where he’s only woken up once but it always goes back to this. He used to fall asleep independently for both naps and bedtime, but for the last month he now refuses his cot at bedtime and will only fall to sleep on my bed and is on and off my boob for ages before finally falling to sleep. He sleeps fine in his cot for naps but during the night he’s now in our bed all night. He’s hysterical if I try and put him in his cot. He also keeps asking for more milk during the day now, despite a month ago he had cut out his day feeds entirely. I feel mentally and physically drained and I want to stop breastfeeding. But I feel like it’s a bad time to stop now that he’s upped his feeds even more! He’s also got his back molars coming through. But I really feel like I can’t go on with such broken night sleep. There’s no sign of it getting better. He slept better at 3 months than this. Did stopping breastfeeding your older baby/toddler improve night sleep? I’m worried that it won’t and I’ll just lose the only tool I have to get him back down again

OP posts:
Zippedydoodahday · 15/02/2024 19:51

I kept going because a lot of my friends had told me that stopping feeding had made things worse for them, child would still wake, but they'd lost their magic wand to get them back to sleep. I didn't want to take the risk.

Hoooooda · 15/02/2024 19:56

Yes, 1000%. I’m very pro-BFing (now EBF my third DC) but with both my older ones they didn’t sleep through until weaned. Particularly if you feed to sleep and/or feed overnight, I think the two are hugely connected.

IwanttobeBeth · 15/02/2024 20:02

I had this issue too, yes, stopping did help their sleep, I went cold turkey as I was just so exhausted, my husband took him into his own room for around a week, its not easy...but we have to stop sometime and if you're ready for that to be now don't beat yourself up about it. 17 months is an amazing achievement, I was quite emotional as I did end up stopping quite suddenly. I've found there is so much information to help you get started with BF but very little help to stop. My son also started to eat much better during the day too when we stopped.

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ZebraPyjamas · 15/02/2024 20:04

Nope made no difference for me with any of mine! They did eventually just sleep better themselves though

bravotango · 15/02/2024 20:14

I'm in the middle of this! DS is 15 months old and never took a bottle or dummy, won't touch milk from anything other than my breast. Bed 6.30pm-7.30am usually waking 8.30,11,1,4,6am (or thereabouts). We started a week ago with me feeding to sleep as usual, and all night wakes until midnight handled by DH. Anything after that I went in and fed him. 3 days in and he started sleeping 6.30-1 (longest he's EVER slept). From yesterday DH is going in to settle at 1 and last night (touch wood) it went brilliantly and he went back down until 3.30 when I fed him. Up for the day at 6.30. Going to continue on this trajectory as it feels like it's working and it feels gentle!

Interesting to hear others replies as I've been umming and ahhing about this for the last few weeks!

HBGKC · 15/02/2024 20:14

Not exactly the same position as you, as mine did/do fall back to sleep whilst breastfeeding when they wake (every couple of hours), but basically as soon as I stop feeding them (completely, including daytime), they sleep through. Unfortunately for me, I generally don't manage to do that until 18-24 months. My youngest is 18 months now, and I want to stop soon but I just don't know how! There never seems to be a good time, and my husband is no help at all Confused

Hollyhead · 15/02/2024 20:17

I didn’t stop bf but I night weaned and sleep trained both of mine about 16 months (didn’t leave them alone but sent DH in with a beaker of water instead) Went from multiple wake ups to 7pm-7am in 2 days. Have consistently slept well ever since and their late primary age now.

ILoveSpoon · 15/02/2024 20:23

As I was reading I was going to ask about molars and there it is! I suspect that might be a link with the increase. Have they been eating less solids in response?

Have you tried paracetamol or ibuprofen before bed to see if it makes a difference?
(One night will not do harm but if it does help then it's better than LO being in pain and not sleeping enough)

Remember. BF is a two person relationship. They are old enough to understand if you say No.

Bumbers · 15/02/2024 20:26

It worked for my then 15month old! Had never once slept through. Once I stopped going in to do night feeds (and allowed a little bit of crying as I thought it would upset them more if I went in but refused to feed) then they started sleeping through most nights. They are 3 now and a pretty good sleeper!

x1x2x3 · 15/02/2024 20:26

Short answer... Yes. 100%. At 15 months it was the only thing that worked.

Longer answer involved stopping feeds before and after naps and me being away for work overnight as a one off (wouldn't take a bottle AT ALL)

liquoricecravings · 15/02/2024 20:30

bravotango · 15/02/2024 20:14

I'm in the middle of this! DS is 15 months old and never took a bottle or dummy, won't touch milk from anything other than my breast. Bed 6.30pm-7.30am usually waking 8.30,11,1,4,6am (or thereabouts). We started a week ago with me feeding to sleep as usual, and all night wakes until midnight handled by DH. Anything after that I went in and fed him. 3 days in and he started sleeping 6.30-1 (longest he's EVER slept). From yesterday DH is going in to settle at 1 and last night (touch wood) it went brilliantly and he went back down until 3.30 when I fed him. Up for the day at 6.30. Going to continue on this trajectory as it feels like it's working and it feels gentle!

Interesting to hear others replies as I've been umming and ahhing about this for the last few weeks!

My ds is 14 months and I'm going to do a similar approach. The lack of sleep at night is beginning to take its toll. We did the same with our dd and it had a good result. I fed her until she was 2 but she slept through from 15 months.

Cheeseismyfavourite · 15/02/2024 20:30

Yes instantly. I don’t think it was the actual breastfeeding but more the fact that I was shoving a boob in her mouth to get her to sleep which was then causing her to wake up. I hadn’t planned on stopping at 14 months but I was sick husband took over for a few nights and it just happened

stickybear · 15/02/2024 20:35

My youngest was up three times a night every single night until 15 months when I decided to stop feeding him and see what happened. It was instant, i think he slept through the next night!

Sunnnybunny72 · 15/02/2024 20:37

Yes. I was going back to work at four and five months each time and needed more sleep. Felt physically and psychologically much better going forward. They pretty much slept through thereafter. Also went into their own room. No regressions.

queenofkale · 15/02/2024 20:38

Yes worked for me pretty much straight away - for both DDs one at 12 months and one at 15 months.

I do think that those who say it doesn't help the sleep are potentially replacing the milk with another sleep prop of some kind. I do know someone whose children's sleep are still very difficult despite night weening, however she didn't night ween until 4 and a half and I think by this time the sleep habits had been ingrained and child generally gets his own way via a tantrum. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Ponderingwindow · 15/02/2024 20:41

No, stopping breastfeeding made our nights so much worse.

LillyBugg · 15/02/2024 20:58

I stopped at 2yo and he was sleeping through within a couple of weeks. I'm not sure it was the right time for us. But it did achieve what I wanted. Sleeeeep

afinethingindeed · 16/02/2024 06:00

Yes. We stopped just shy of 20 months. I had been reducing the day feeds over the week anyway so she sort of knew what was happening. When she woke, I just cuddled her and put her back down. Was so surprised it worked! Then the night wakings stopped after a couple of nights.
I don't think it would have worked as well when she was younger though.

She'll be 3 in May and now only wakes in the night if poorly etc.

Gruffalotea · 16/02/2024 06:24

Yes, for about 8 weeks he reliably slept through after night weaning (age 2) then the last four months have been very disturbed, with 2 wakes being a good night.

However, this last week or so has been much better and he has mostly slept through.

So I feel it was probably coincidence that he was going through a good phase when we night weaned. Sleep goes up and down in early childhood and sometimes we can’t figure out why. I know that doesn’t make it any easier though.

Pickledprawn · 16/02/2024 07:01

I didn't stop BF until my daughter was two years old. But she slept through the night from around six months. Once I figured out which were comfort feeds and which were feeds because she was hungry I cut down on the night feeding and she slept better. We were in separate rooms too, but not sure if that is relevant to how she slept.

Arewethebadguys · 16/02/2024 08:05

Hoooooda · 15/02/2024 19:56

Yes, 1000%. I’m very pro-BFing (now EBF my third DC) but with both my older ones they didn’t sleep through until weaned. Particularly if you feed to sleep and/or feed overnight, I think the two are hugely connected.

Same. Wouldn't have believed it the day before they slept through!

Superscientist · 16/02/2024 10:36

Feeding overnight has made 0 difference to my daughters sleep. We switched to formula at 10 months when she was waking 3-5 times a night only thing that changed was in now took longer to get her back to sleep. Then we went to a small drink of oat milk about 50ml and no difference she still kept waking up even though she only had the oat milk once. She now has it once a week and on Monday night she was awake every 40 minutes. She's 3.5

She has severe reflux still and at 14 months old she had a massive relapse having been almost symptoms free for a few months. During this time she went from drinking 5-8oz of formula at night to 20+Oz and desperate for more as she was comfort eating. Drinking soothed the pain of the reflux but was responsible for the reflux. One of the triggers for her reflux was her molars coming through due to the excess saliva

BertieBotts · 16/02/2024 10:37

I found that putting them in their own room and being consistent with the boundary not to bring them into my bed helped with sleep, even without stopping breastfeeding.

It's more disruptive short term but long term it's worth it.

PurpleBugz · 16/02/2024 11:25

Nope didn't help mine to sleep any better.

You have done a very good length of time bf. And you say you feel mentally and physically drained- that is reason enough to stop feeding. Particularly as then daddy can take on half night wakings

Scarftown · 16/02/2024 15:30

Made absolutely no difference here. Actually harder as no magic boob to put her back to sleep. She still wakes up twice a night at almost 3.