Has anyone ever changed their mind on a third?

[helloonetwothree]

Hi everyone, I have no idea where to post this. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone in real like about it so I’m coming here. I’ve had to NC. I’m so sorry if this offends anyone 😔

Currently 11 weeks with a planned and much-wanted third baby, however, I’m starting to question whether we’ve made the right decision. Our current children are absolutely taking it out of me currently. So many fights and arguments and rudeness, so much screaming and crying, I just can’t fathom bringing another into this. I’ve also been plagued with pregnancy allergies and it is torture not being able to breathe through my nose. I can’t help but spiral into an anxious panic of how much of a shit growing environment I’ve given this baby; stress, worry, allergies. I’ve also been hit by this wave of no motivation and just sluggishness, the minute I got my positive test. In December I had so many personal goals and ideas, I was loving life, but these hormones have just made me want to stay in bed all day 😞

We’ve also just discovered mould in our (rented) flat. We’ve been here for 4 years and it’s usually been manageable (inbetween ventilation, putting the heating on, having two dehumidifier’s on for every minute we’re home and awake, hoovering, etc) it’s a massive bloody process to just keep the place inhabitable, however, the place is on its last legs and I discovered fresh mould stains coming through our wallpaper that was hung 4 years ago, meaning our huge cycle of things to do when we’re home clearly isn’t enough to keep up. The whole place needs doing up structurally, new windows, everything… ANYWAYS…

We will obviously have to move out at the end of our lease now, which is in September (my due date) and we’d be looking at having to spend up to an extra £400 per month for anywhere decent 🙁 (as our rent stayed the same since we’ve moved in). We could stretch to this, if I was at work. How could we do that if I have a newborn?

💔

Thabk you for reading this far. My head is all over the place. I can’t see any other way than to terminate, because if we don’t I feel like I’m being unfair to all parties? i’m heartbroken. I dont feel like I can talk to anyone about this (aside from my parents) because I just feel so embarrassed and ashamed. I just need someone to talk to so if anyone’s been in a similar position, please do reach out 😞

I'm so sorry your feeling this way. Pregnancy cold feet was very common and if you read recent 'should I have a third' threads there were definitely others in the same boat as you.

Remember everything is a phase with the kids, and the mould Wil also be gone eventually, overwhelming as it is at the moment. ❤

Thank you for replying. I really appreciate it ❤️ you’re so right that everything is a phase with children, I just feel like we’re still in the trenches (they’re 2 and 4) and will still be this age when the baby comes. 4, 2 and newborn in some mouldy shit hole 😫 or 4 and 2 year old in a better living environment, with more disposable income?

Aghhh. This sucks. Thanks Again for replying, I feel so alone with this x

Of course. Mould is awful and I am no stranger to the whir of the dehumidifier. If it's a long-wanted third you might put more trust in your planning than your current hormones. I would love a third and those gaps will be so wonderful (if challenging) but it's not on the cards for me. But of course that's not relevant!

Thank you for your comment. I’ve just read my post back and realised I let LOOSE (lol) but I wanted to explain my situation fully. Ideally we need a new home. No idea how we’ll afford to without me being in work. I’ve never felt so torn and so sad 😣