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Husband being short with 7 year old

3 replies

Anon4345 · 14/02/2024 18:38

My daughter prefers me to my husband with pretty much everything. We have asked but she never gives an explanation even though admits my husband does some things better than I do but still prefers me. My husband takes this hard and it upsets him. She will say things like 'oh its you' when he wakes her up in the morning and immediately asks where I am. Or if we're going out she will ask if I take her or if we're playing in her room and he comes to join she will say there isn't any space to join in. I would understand if I'm the primary caregiver but I'm not, my husband stays home with her. My husband plays with her, they are silly, laugh together and have a lovely time he spends time with her but it seems to make no difference. We have spoken to her about her behaviour many times as this is not acceptable and she should know better. I fully back my husband with this and try to work with him however it has come to a head. He went to put her to bed and she wanted me. I was busy so he said it will be him. She cried and said she didn't want him and wanted me and this went on. He put her to bed but afterwards was absolutely furious and has hardly spoken a word to her. She's tries to speak to him and he's short with her, says he couldn't care less if she asks him something. Am I being unreasonable to be absolutely furious at this? She is a 7 year old child. Her behaviour is not acceptable but I feel now neither is his! How are we meant to lead by example when he is behaving like this. How do I navigate this situation?

OP posts:
Zone2NorthLondon · 14/02/2024 23:44

Your husband is the actual problem,not the 7 year old. Your DH is overbearing demanding bully. Stop facilitating his behaviour and stop expecting a child to perform and give praise to him because he has hurt feelings or a disproportionately misplaced feeling of being excluded. Both your behaviour as parents is probably stressing the child, she was subjected to an adult parent excluding her, to his omnipresent bad mood . Outrageous. Start sticking up for your child. Only person who should be getting spoken to is this man child. The talk being be a responsible adult stop enacting bad mood and punishment on a child

angelpie33 · 15/02/2024 06:02

Your husband is acting like a petulant child and needs to grow up. Giving a child the silent treatment is ridiculous and cruel.

Maybe your daughter asks for you because you are not her primary caregiver and she misses you and wants that connection when you're home.

MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 15/02/2024 06:07

While I understand she's only 7, what tone is she speaking to him in? 'Oh it's you' is rude, dismissive sneery and very mean. Where is she getting this from?
Is this how she speaks to her when you're not there? How you and he speak to each other?

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