Leaving baby in car alone

[monstera16]

Just curious about peoples thoughts on this?

To preface, neither me or my DH would leave our baby alone in the car, however, wondering if anyone does leave their baby alone in the car while they pay for petrol or nip into a shop?

DH grew up in another country where it was relatively common so it got me thinking!

I have never taken my baby our of the car to pay for petrol. And I had my eldest when there was no pay at pump. I will say I have always lived in quite rural/small town areas. So I can't comment on how I would feel in a big city.

Paying for petrol is one thing- it’s more faff and often dangerous (if we’re talking a walking toddler) to get them out and cross the forecourt, should there not be a pay at pump option, and the car is always in your eyeline. Nipping into a shop is totally different, I don’t know anyone that’s done that this century!

I can see why people leave baby in the car for petrol, and would do if necessary. I've just never needed to in 10 months of ds being alive. I buy petrol when I have DP, DM or a friend in the car with me, or when I'm on my own.

I would never leave him in the car to nip to the shop as I wouldn't be able to see him. As a pp said though, I live in a city.

Petrol-yes. Not sure about shop-I never did it but I can see circumstances where I might. I have done it while seeing older child across the road to the school gate. I have to say-the older child was always hugely disapproving!

With my first baby I never would have. With my second I leave him in the car outside the childminder’s house while I collect his brother. It’s literally 90 seconds though.

I do get a bit paranoid about if the car somehow locked itself and I couldn’t open it… but then I wouldn’t want to leave it unlocked either.

I never take my 2 yr old out of the car when paying for petrol but I do go to a specific petrol station which is really small and always park at the pump closest to the door. If it’s another petrol station like the big ones next to motorways then yeah, I’ll take him out.

Don’t leave him in the car either when going to the shops. My 7 yr old has started to ask if he can stay in the car when I have to pick up milk or dog food. I’ve tried it once and he was fine but it still makes me a bit anxious.

I would use pay at the pump for petrol when I had a baby or toddler in the car, or fill it up of an evening so as to not need to do it with kids in tow.

I have never and would never leave a baby or small child alone in a car whilst I went into a shop.

My LO is 2.5.

Nipping into a shop- never, don't think I'd do this for another couple of years at least, also there's not really any need to.

Paying for petrol- think I started doing this when she was over the age of 1 but only if I made sure the car was in sight at all times.

And also I tried to avoid it where possible eg pay at pump or fill up while someone else is in the car or in advance.

Yes for petrol
No for anything else

Not after that horror story where the car with a child in rolled into a river and the mother has no idea.

This one

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/mar/20/girl-dies-wales-missing-car-river-teifi-cardigan

I would be much more likely to leave a tiny baby briefly than a more mobile child.

Yes to pay for petrol, no for going into a shop (generally further from the car park and can't keep eyes on). Paying for petrol is pretty much the only time I leave her in the car to be fair, other than on the drive at home.

Petrol, yes, always.

Shops, maybe into a corner shop if parked right outside.

Petrol they stay in the car - safer than carrying them to and fro across multiple rows of cars. Plus, imo, the petrol pumps and the forecourt are one space. Its also easy to keep the car 100% in sight the whole time as the walls of the service stations are usually full windows.

None of this is true of general shops. So I take them into shops.

I leave 7 month old DS in the car while I collect his older sister from nursery. This is on a residential street in zone 2 London so quite an urban setting, but I am out of sight of the car. I struggle to think of the issue given he's strapped in and the car is locked. Yes there's always some kind of freak accident that people quote back on threads like this to scare you, but I don't tend to run my life in fear of these vanishingly rare events so it doesn't bother me

Does the nursery staff know this? It may trigger them making a safeguarding referral if they know you do this. Why do you do this?

I leave my small person in the van while I am paying for petrol, pay at pump hasn't really made it to any petrol stations within a 45 minute drive of here and there is no DH any more so I have no one to leave him with while I fill up, and unloading him in his wheelchair would be more dangerous than leaving him while I pay for fuel. It is weighing up the risk though isn't it, the risk of unloading him in his chair, wheeling him through the cars at the pumps and those moving on the forecourt then reloading him into the van vs him being alone in the van while I pay (with the added risk that he has epilepsy). If I am popping into a shop he comes too.

Jesus I would not be doing that! I really would stop, that is very irresponsible.

You know how common car theft is in London right??? It’s mostly at night but I do know someone that had their car stolen, in the middle of the day, from outside their house which also happens to be the popular parking street for 2 local schools. Also if the ever present traffic wardens spotted the baby they could call the police!

Hahaha. I always love this topic on mumsnet. Brings out the batshit pearl clutchers. Seriously, @SecondUsername4me @SErunner put your faux outrage away and don't be so ridiculous. It's a baby in a car for 2 minutes. It's really not an issue

I do this because it's an arse to get him out of the car seat for the 2 minutes it takes to pick her up. And it allows my focus to be on her at point of collection (it's kind of hard hugging an enthusiastic toddler who is excited and has missed her mummy while also holding a baby). So, baby stays nice and cuddly and happy with whatever toy he's got, none the wiser. But if it puts your mind at rest, it's a local authority run nursery school and they are very much aware so they're free to take whatever action they want (I'll let you into a secret - they don't care one dot, and I'm also not the only one who does it 😱😱😱)

Laughing and name calling at people expressing concern for your baby... ok then. And I bet it's not 2 minutes either.

The chance of something happening is low, but the consequences are high. Most people when risk assessing choose to avoid even a small risk, with large consequences, when avoiding it is easy. Which it is in this case. Taking your baby with you to pick up your older child is not something that needs to be avoided.

Petrol yes as I can see them. Shop no.

I usually roll my eyes at the 'batshit pearl clutchers' too but in this instance I am pretty shocked at that too @sexnotgenders. How far is the walk from the car to the nursery?

@InTheRainOnATrain thanks but there's no need to concern yourself about traffic wardens as it's not in a controlled parking zone, so there aren't any (not that I think it would be an issue). And yes, having lived in London all my life, I'm aware of car crime. The outside of the nursery school is full of parents at pick up time, so it'll be interesting to see why a criminal would chose to break into my locked car when the immediate area is surrounded by lots of mums and buggies etc. But hats off to them if they want to give it a go.

Any other far reaching scaremongering circumstance you want to try and create about what could happen in the 120 seconds I am out of sight if my vehicle? Lightning? Out of control steam roller? Aliens?

I wonder what the risk of a car hitting a person and their baby crossing the road is compared to the risk of something happening to the baby if left alone in the car. That would be interesting to know