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Parenting

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Original poster

Why is my 8 week old so bad at sleeping

18 replies

Cindy1802 · 14/02/2024 07:11

Am I missing something, when is this no longer "normal"?

He had never slept longer than 2 hours at night, and for the past week and a half he's up before the 2 hour mark, and last night it was about 50mins. I'm losing my mind with exhaustion. I have a toddler too so I can't just sleep in the day.

Baby sleeps fine in the day, he's really happy and content and feeds well. We swaddle him at night which does help the transfer into his cot. He is EBF and not convinced this is cluster feeding, twice he woke tonight and he was barely interested in the boob, basically fell asleep on me as soon as he latched. He is quite a windy baby though, we struggle with colic in the evenings and he's been quite uncomfortable (but not crying) with wind during one of the night wakes. Has some HUGE trumps sometimes (not sure if that's relevant)

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FirstT1meMum · 14/02/2024 08:38

No advice but just came to say you're not alone! I could've written this myself! Really struggling and the exhaustion is real! We hit 2am and that was it for the night 😴

CadyEastman · 14/02/2024 08:42

I can remember thinking I'd been given a faulty one too.

How long is he sleeping for in the day and are you managing to get him outside every day?

Original poster

Cindy1802 · 14/02/2024 11:56

@CadyEastman I've not been tracking it tbh, but it doesn't feel like an issue... it feels like a decent balance between awake and asleep. But thanks for mentioning it, I might track it out of interest to see if there's anything worth trying to change there.

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Original poster

Cindy1802 · 14/02/2024 11:59

And yes we get out most days, having a toddler doesn't allow us to stay inside all that much! We don't necessarily get an outdoors walk as that is weather dependent.

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Original poster

Cindy1802 · 14/02/2024 12:00

@FirstT1meMum sorry to hear you are having a similar time. Sending solidarity!

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Original poster

Cindy1802 · 15/02/2024 05:58

@FirstT1meMum How's tonight going? We took him to bed at 8.45ish and managed to finally get him down at 11.45. He spoilt me with a 2 hour sleep to begin with, but have seen every hour since 🙃

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BabySleep10Weeks · 15/02/2024 07:51

If he's going to sleep again when you hold him it sounds like he's wanting comfort and tu he with his mum.
My 14 week is currently doing this. For the last week or so he wakes up at 3 for a feed and then every hour after. I've taken to holding him from 5am which not everyone can but this is my first.
Exhausting.

soberfabulous · 15/02/2024 07:55

Mine was exactly the same and never napped in the day.

She didn't nap for longer than 20 minutes until she was 5 months old and even then could only go for 45 minutes if we were lucky.

She didn't sleep through until she was 14 months, we used to do a dream feed at 11 pm too.

It nearly killed me and is a key factor in only having one child.

I thought it would never end and it was a grueling period of my life.

What saved me was FF and getting DH to take some of the night shifts. I was delirious with exhaustion and used to fantasize about going to prison for a rest 🤪

You are definitely not alone!

FirstT1meMum · 15/02/2024 08:15

@Cindy1802 we had a really good night! Hubby always does the first night feed and gets her down so I can get some sleep in case she's up all night. He managed to get her down at about 12ish i think and she stirred at 2 but a quick cuddle was all she needed apparently then she went back down until 4! Hasn't been back in her next to me since but I'll take the 5 hours!

Hibernatalie · 15/02/2024 08:21

I breastfed and my first was like this. It helped giving her a bottle of formula just before we went to bed. We went to a sleep consultant at 7 months and did gentle sleep training. Took around a week and she's been a good sleeper since. Does yours have a dummy?

NewOrder · 15/02/2024 08:36

Honestly, sounds normal especially if you don't think there's an underlying medical issue.

The biggest issue for new mums is the lack of realistic advice as to what baby sleep can be like. We are sold this lie that newborns sleep loads, babies sleep through the night etc.

It hard - make allowances and things easier for yourself wherever you can!

Original poster

Cindy1802 · 15/02/2024 10:05

Thanks all. I think I was worried that it wasn't normal, but if I know he's absolutely fine and he just wants comfort then I can deal with it!

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Superscientist · 15/02/2024 10:08

That's pretty average to me. My daughter slept more 0-3 weeks then slightly worse from then to 8 weeks from 8 weeks to about 6 months it was blood awful as she woke up to 10 times as night. Reflux meant she didn't feed during the day so fed all night.

She's 3.5 now and whenever her reflux is playing up she wakes up every 40 minutes!

It takes until 12 weeks for them to twig that night time is for sleep and day time is for a awake. It can be the case where for a while they realise that day time is time to be awake but not yet twigged that might time is for sleep.

ghostywoo · 15/02/2024 10:17

Newborn babies are born without a circadian rhythm. It's not until 8-12 weeks that it matures and they begin to tell night from day. Sleep cycles are about 45 mins so it's pretty normal at this age.

Scootboot · 15/02/2024 10:19

Very normal. For my DC this was pretty much what they did until 4 so might as well get used to it and get some coffee in.

Original poster

Cindy1802 · 20/02/2024 21:22

Update... he's been diagnosed with CPMA 🙃 one week of dairy free and he's already sleeping better, I've had the first 5 hour stretch ever this week.

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FirstT1meMum · 21/02/2024 06:45

@Cindy1802 what were his symptoms?
I'm still really struggling...hubby can get her down really easily and she will stay down for a good 3/4 hours but when I put her down she instantly starts kicking and squirming around. Been up since 2.45...send help 😴

Original poster

Cindy1802 · 21/02/2024 10:07

@FirstT1meMum since 2 weeks he had really bad colic - to the point we couldn't watch TV or have a conversation for the screaming, we just took it in turns pacing the house with him trying to get him to settle. He pooed with every feed, and they were always extremely watery - (later developing mucus which was the first red flag that made me piece all the symptoms together). HUGE trumps, (so big my toddler found hysterical) all throughout the day, which always left skid marks on his nappy. A rash around the base of his neck and up into his hairline. Then of course the sleep - 8 weeks old and some nights waking every 50mins.

All of the above symptoms on their own (maybe apart from the mucus and the rash which isn't that bad) could have been put down to something else, or just normal for a young baby, and I had many people tell me that I had unrealistic expectations of how well a baby should sleep. All I can say is that my gut was right, something was up.

That would be my own piece of advice to any FTM, trust your gut as a mum. I've had instances with my first born that I have learnt that I should have trusted my gut (the biggest example being strep A undiagnosed for 8 months resulting in recurring fevers every other week, with GPs just telling me that toddlers get sick quite often). This instance with my baby has reiterated this same fact - I know my babies best!

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