My toddler keeps hurting the baby

[Mytoddlerisferal]

I have a 7 month old and a 2 year old (3 in June). My toddler has been quite good with the baby but it’s almost as if the more he becomes a little person and he realises he can do stuff, my toddler is growing more interested and not in a good way 🙄 I’ve tried all the obvious things and it seems anything I do just makes it worse. It seems to always be his head he’ll go for. He’ll sometimes be stroking his head or even give him a kiss but it quickly escalates into patting his head more and more to the point he’s just slapping him. I obviously keep a very close eye to intervene but he does it so quickly, he’s often crying by the time I pull him away from him. There’s been a few times where he’s either thrown things (constantly throwing) or hit him on the head with something. I’ve tried shouting, pretend crying and being disappointed in him, telling him no, putting him out the room, getting him to say sorry etc but it just feels like it’s now happening more and more often 😑 he gets lots of one to one attention too and it doesn’t seem to be jealousy.. other than just walking about with my baby in a carrier 24/7, what can I do? 😩

Could you put baby in a playpen?

I had this two with my DD hurting DS for a while. She would hit him and push him over. I totally empathise because it’s such an awful feeling. Like you, I tried saying ‘no!’ sternly etc but I’m the end that make it worse and more frequent. What helped in the end was giving NO reaction and simply picking baby up and walking away. You can calmly say “I have to move baby away because it’s not safe to hit” etc but keep things very calm and boring. If you give a big reaction it’ll encourage more of the same behaviour. Toddlers crave our attention, even if it’s negative!! This is heightened so much more when there is a new baby. They will be so desperate for your attention and will keep doing the thing that gets them a big exciting reaction. I know it’s incredibly challenging and there were times I failed to keep my cool but with persistence we’re through it and she is no longer hitting DS (they actually love each other now). Also, give loads of praise when your little boy is being gentle even if he is simply just sitting in the same room as baby and not hurting them. Say something like “you’re being so gentle with baby” or “it’s so nice when we can spend time together without hitting! Thank you!”

good luck and I hope it passes soon!

I had this too 🫣

DD is 2.8 and DS is 12 weeks and she adores him so much she can sometimes be a bit overbearing and hugs him very tightly and tries to 'rock' him but ends up shaking him. The only thing I've found seems to help is getting her involved in doing things for him like getting me a nappy and wipes or coming with me to sterilise his dummy because she is helping and showing her love to him that way and it also gets her out of the immediate vicinity of him. I love that she loves him so much and isn't jealous at all (at the moment) but she just doesn't know her own strength right now.