Work after maternity leave

[Gem95]

Just looking for some advice really.

My DH works FT and I worked FT before maternity leave. I enjoyed my job and am going crazy staying at home with baby so really want to go back but the cost of nursery doesn't make it worth it. We ideally need a FT wage and a PT wage (replacement of maternity pay) to comfortably live. My DH was happy for me to go FT and he does the SAHP job, plus a couple of nights a week but the jobs are not materialising. And I wonder if this will be too much for me to look after DS overnight and work the next day? My main concern is when DS gets ill which I know can be frequent and if we are both working days, we have no one to look after DS!

In a dilemma so any experiences or advice would be appreciated....

Do you mean ‘can I work overnight then look after DC’ if so, that would be tricky.

If you really meant ‘can I look after DC overnight then work the next day’ as you wrote, of course! That’s what all working parents do! Assuming they’re not newborn you’ll be knackered but fine.

As for illness, you just have to muddle through with time off. It’s not too bad.

Be mindful that full time work not being worth it now literally cuts you out of decent pensions, benefits and opportunities long term. The motherhood penalty.

I think it depends on your line of work but nursery fees are temporary. You can make a lot of progress during your employed years in that same time that can make life much easier and financially secure when dc start school.

DP and I worked out for us the best working pattern, he does 3 days, and I condensed my full time hours into 4 days. Baby does 2 full days at nursery, older DC does wraparound at school 2 days. Surprisingly we are eligible for UC top up due to childcare costs. In the short term probably we aren’t better off but once funded hours and then school starts we will be. And we won’t have a gap in paying into our pensions, nor a gap in CV.
The sahp should be doing the majority of nights, or if both working you share.

I work 4 days with Wednesdays off. A mid week day off helps me recharge and it's helps when she's ill or made me ill as a day a home often means we get over what ever bug by Thursday and can bypass the day off work.

Over night my daughter only accepts me so I'm do most of it without my partner. She's not a good sleeper. She's not been well this week with her allergies and last night she was awake every 40 minutes. I have been in the office today. I have needed a lot of coffee and I've not been up to much office chattering but I have had the energy I have needed to do my job at a good level. I'm looking forward to tomorrow where I can go at my pace to catch up in time to be back at work and functioning. In return for doing the nights my partner does the early mornings at the weekend and I get to sleep in until 10! Bliss!

My partner works full time and ideally he would work 4 days so he would also get a day with her but the nature of his job means that the amount of work would be the same over 4 days as 5 but with less pay and the boundary between home and work is more blurred so it would be harder for him to have that day off and actually have it off.

Work to one anothers strengths and keep an eye on things like pensions and being able to pick up careers later. Both me and my partner work in industries where time out is punished which was a factor in my decision to stay in work at close to full time hours

It’s expensive but it’s not forever so see the money spent as an investment in your future career. It’s short sighted to say it’s not worth it, because you’re giving up financial security and pension and it’s harder to get back in.

Can you make any adjustments to your hours/working pattern eg doing compressed days to reduce nursery bills? As others have said, even if it doesn't seem worth it now, returning to work is worth it in the long run from a career progression and pension perspective.

As for whether you can work after looking after your child all night - unfortunately yes that's what everyone has to do 😂 it's bloody hard work when they're ill/not sleeping etc but you just have to suck it up. You use your annual leave to cover the days when they're sick and can't go to nursery. Again, rubbish but it's part of being a parent. Depending on where you work some place have special leave allowance or parenting allowance which might give you a few days you can use to cover childcare.

Fundamentally do what's right for you but if you want to go back to work, I'd just go back and make it work. The first 6 months are horrendous but it does get easier.