Feel like I don’t know what I’m doing

[rorox]

I know a popular statement is “none of us do” etc but breastfeeding really has knocked my parenting confidence 2nd time round

DD is 3 weeks old (I have a 2yo but I formula fed him from day one so have never breastfed until now)

she is ebf, every nappy is wet and a little dirty but she also has big pooey nappies too! Plenty of good nappies, has gained 9oz in 3 weeks (got weighed yesterday) so the signs point to I have good milk supply

today she’s Been on me pretty much since 6am, with one boob it’s like she forgot how to latch she keeps getting angry and screaming and not latching

I Have also tried a wearable pump to get some to give a bottle as I’m so drained I’d like some help from DH, but I pumped for 30 mins and only got 2-3oz? :( I felt disheartened like why am I not getting much?

Part of me just wants to give fornula and be done with it but we just bought the expensive pump and parts and I’m nearly at the month mark of ebf I feel I need to keep going

It can take more than three weeks to get a good latch established. Have you seen if there are any local groups in your area/breastfeeding drop ins for support?
Are you drinking enough water to help with supply?
If its affecting your health, move onto formula. There is zero shame in that - you need to do what is best for you and baby.

There’s a group I can text/call I’m unsure if there’s drop in! But for a suspected lat h issue I’d have to have someone witness a feed wouldn’t I

i did text them when she did this the other week they said growth spurt

I am trying to drink more - I’ve had 2litres today so far so will continue

And yeah :( I mean I wish I had like the structure of the bottles I always kind of knew where I was up to with DS. I feel like I don’t know if I’ll feed her once and it’ll be enough for 2 hours or she’ll want to feed constantly for hours it’s a bit tough on the body and mind isn’t it?

And also have just bought the very expensive pump :/ so feel silly giving up now when my plan was to bf and pump too

3 weeks old is very standard fussy/cluster feeding behaviour.

I’ve sent this link to so many friends:
https://www.instagram.com/p/C2CYJEdNMBI/?igsh=aDlyN3MxcndjanVs

Also, pumping just doesn’t work for some people. My friend couldn’t get anything pumping. Definitely check you’re using the right size flange.

I’d really suggest looking for an ICLBC if you have the money. They can check latch/positions and help with pump sizing as well.

For something so natural, BF can be bloody hard work! Sounds like she’s gaining well - I think it’s probably just the changes that come in at three weeks!

cluster feeding is normal. My DD is 3 months now and still cluster feeds (dies!) When she was a newborn she fed constantly, it’s really hard. I think after the 6/8 week mark it gets much easier.
You do what’s best for you and your baby. I love breastfeeding as I could not be arsed faffing around with bottles and formula and it’s great to be able to whip my boob out on request, but have found it draining and suffocating having my baby so reliant on me. I think this is normal?
I’m sure you’re doing a great job - your pumping volume sounds normal.
Don’t feel ashamed to stop ebf if that’s what’s best for you.

Breastfeeding together helped me a lot in the early days.

Pumping volume is normal I think! This bit is really tough but then it gets lots better at 6-8 weeks, and you’ll appreciate the convenience of it. Good to get baby to take a bottle but could you wait a couple of weeks so your supply is established? Pumping lots now could give you oversupply so be careful with that.

My LO has had a bottle from dad since he was 6 weeks old so I’ve been able to go out etc, and he’s now nearly 8 months and I really love breastfeeding. I really didn’t at the stage you’re at, but it got a lot better quite quickly. Cluster feeding doesn’t continue for very long, and then it’s just great to be such a comfort to them so conveniently! Any whinging: boobs are the answer 😊

:( thanks everyone just down as I’ve been sat in all day and I remember with my 1st we’d go out a bit just even walks to get out

and DS goes to nursery some days so I want to do stuff with DD 1-2-1 as the other days I am split between both! And DS got the 1-2-1 time but I feel like all I’ve done today is sit on my arse :/ feeding her so obviously doing something very good for her but just have struggled

okay thanks regarding pumping. I somehow thought I should be getting 5-6oz lol, it does seem like I have it on for half an hour and only a little coming out I wonder was I doing something wrong. I have a wearable electric pump as it’s easier

do I hold off on pumping until 6 weeks? And would I get more if I pumped then?

Try rugby ball hold if she's showing preference for one

I haven’t tried this (only got one baby!) but have seen a couple of people breastfeeding in a sling when they also have to deal with a toddler. Would imagine there’s advice online about how to do it!
Your baby won’t need a lot of breast milk in a bottle, they tend to snack (hence feeding a lot unlike formula bottle feeding!), so don’t panic about amounts when pumping.
I was advised by a lactation consultant to wait until at least 4 weeks (we waited until 6 weeks) before trying a bottle, and then just to give a couple of ounces to begin with.
I could pump a fairly significant amount (but still only 4/5oz altogether in one go) in weeks 6-15ish and then my supply really settled down to just enough for my baby, so I started giving the odd bottle of formula instead if I was away from him. I get 2 ounces at best these days 🙈
When are you pumping? You have the most milk in the morning so ideally you’d pump then, and an hour at least after feeding your baby (which is so hard at the beginning, but if you wait a bit longer they’ll start having more gaps between feeds and you can find time to pump!)