Experienced mum's with 10 year age gaps

[Hzky3]

Looking for any advice experiences from older mothers with large age gaps?
How did you're older children react to news of the pregnancy ?
Have things changed since the birth?
As a mother did it feel like having you're first all over again or was it 2nd nature?
Was the youngest planned or a complete suprise? Thank-you

Unplanned age gap of 11yrs.

It's honestly shit. For the eldest one anyway. He's still essentially an only child. He's approaching 16. DTwins are 4.

DTwins are brilliant and have each other. But I would in no way recommend this age gap. We'll have been "parenting" for 30yrs non stop by the time DTwins are 18. We'd have been "free" in just two more years with eldest leaving for uni if we didn't have such a stupid age gap.

I love them all, fiercely. I will do my utmost to ensure they don't make this mistake and spend half their adult lives just child rearing. I think my DC are perfect. But my life would be so much better if the age gap was 3yrs or less.

7 years here.

Eldest girl adores him. She was brilliant with him when he was a baby and toddler. They wind each other up and argue like cat and dog at times and they also laugh like hyenas and giggle and play games. They are very different. She can’t ride a bike and he goes off whizzing on his. He has loads of energy compared to her. She is highly academic - he’s not so. They both are exceptional at Lego and can play for hours - both are bossy and controlling. They both love Green planet, Disney’s, death in paradise etc. they fight over chores and both messy. For me as a single parent I am so glad they have each other.

I really make sure I spend time with both of them alone - daily.

Mine are now 10 and 17.

14 years here and loved it but then Tati g the empty nest years and I'm grateful I had 32 years as a mum

12 years for me. It was tough having a teenager and a threenager. But no worse and no probably a bit easier, I would imagine, than having 2 toddlers. Now they get along really well. They go away together and have a close sibling bond. A friend had 2DCs then a surprise 12 years later and the 3 siblings are all very close.

No problems with the news of the pregnancy for me and I found everything loads easier as I knew difficult times would pass.

Mine are 53,46,41, 31,last one second marriage. First, got pregnant at 18 in the 60s, you got married,that was it. Lived in a caravan till DD was 5, no way I could have anymore, wasn't one of these fancy park homes. Bought house,needed 2 ft incomes. Maternity leave in the 70s,80s was just 3 months after birth. They were all told, involved in a baby on the way,all perfectly happy. Last one,we sat round the dining table, told the 3 we were hoping to have a baby,DH didnt have any children. Last kept saying could I have another.... went through the menopause the following year. Never felt like I was having a first or starting again.

2nd family - age gap 12/13 years. Older kids were brilliant - very accepting, have enjoyed having a little sister (and 50% of their time away) and they all get on really well. Actually a nice gap, no rivalry over toys and suchlike. We haven't really struggled with time together/holidays for everyone either.

9 years between my girls and they love each other to death. No issue with pregnancy announcement or anything else. My eldest is very easy going though

10 years between our first two. We had 2 miscarriages before number 2 arrived so ds had time to get his head around having a younger sibling and was excited about it. It was a bit difficult to try and provide entertainment etc for the different ages at times but each had their opportunities. Now they are 20, 23 and 34 and all are very close. The oldest has given us a grandchild/nephew who we all adore too.

I'm not really an older Mum as I was 34 when I had my third child but I was 23 when I had my first and there's 8 years between my first and second DC and 12 years between the eldest and youngest. My eldest would say he was a little put out when his brothers were born, he was 8 and had got used to the idea of being an only child and he has subsequently told me it was quite an adjustment for him to make. We made a big thing of making sure he still had plenty of our time and attention and I think that's key - in a way a bigger age gap is better as there is no vying for attention that you can get with two smaller children who are close in age. He is a fantastic older brother and the younger two absolutely adore him, their relationship is lovely to see. He's a real role model to them. The two older ones have been a real help as well with their younger brother and it does make life a bit easier managing the younger years when the siblings are older and less dependant. I wouldn't let age gaps hold you back.

Twelve year gap here. The main difference for me was that I was quite a lot more tired at 41 than I had been at 29. On the plus side though I was experienced and so much more confident. My eldest left for uni when his brother was 6 which changed things again. They were always close and are now the best of friends.

I had a 7 year gap between the older two (girls) and the younger two (boys) same father. But 10 years between the oldest and youngest.

Maybe because the older ones were girls but it was great. My eldest DD is very close to the youngest, even though they are all adults now.

8 years between mine. Was fine! Although think my body forgot how to give birth as was told second labours usually quicker! The pushing stage was just as long as with the first one! Although both mine were whoppers at over 9lbs each. You’ll be grand OP!

From the other viewpoint, my siblings are 10+ years older than me. Felt a bit like an only child when I was little, by the time I was old enough to really remember holidays, they were too old to want to come so we went with another family, or I took a friend. Their children are older than mine, but once we got to 40/50, I've been very close to my next oldest sibling and we holiday and do a lot together.

How about ask the child instead? My sister is 10 years older than me, has always hated me. My cousin has a sister 9 years older than her, equally horrible relationship

The first 2 were 12 and 10 years old when the very planned 3rd baby arrived. I was terribly broody and DH finally relented. Right now the 17 and 7 year old are playing a computer game together.

They all adore each other. I think the older two were happy to share my attention in the later years. The little one is the star of the family. The downside has been fewer holidays, but it’s hard to blame just the third baby as travel is so much more expensive. My career has really suffered. It’s been great for the family but terrible for my career.

I worry she will be broken hearted in the autumn when both boys are at university. I am planning a very active autumn for her.

Is is so depressing