Is it inevitable that you will end up playing bad cop to DP's good cop? I don't like it...

[bohemianbint]

Because I look after DS all week and DP only really sees him for any length of time, I end up being the witch parent and at the weekend it's all "daddy daddy daddy!" DS doesn't want to know me at the weekend because daddy compensates by being supersoft and letting him do whatever, whilst I have to deal with the discipline.

Yesterday DS refused to eat anything because he'd seen an Easter egg someone brought round and he only wanted chocolate. I said if he didn't eat something proper for tea there wasn't anything else. He refused it but the minute my back was turned, DP gives him chocolate.

I'm already bored of being typecast and quite pissed off with DP for perpetuating it. What do you do to avoid this?

make breakfast on Sunday, then announce you are going out for the ENTIRE DAY and off you swan, returning at 6pm calling out "How do you like THEM apples" as you return to a house filled with chaos and resentment and a surrendered dh.

You don't have to be the bad person all the time

Your DP needs to have long think about why he is undermining you all the time. I understand that he wants conflict-free time with LO but nevertheless boundaries around behaviour are there for a reason.

I feel very bad for you

like suzys approach. depending how stubborn he is, you may need to do this several times, or for several days.

ort you can talk. tell him you want to talk , seriously, about the kids. not now but

Totally agree with going out for a long day our - preferably involving your dp putting him to bed as well.

I'd have a good talk with him where you state clearly and calmly how unfair he is being on you, then I would tell him the day you are out for the day and leave him to it.

LMAO suzy - I'm liking that idea...

THanks Boys. I was wondering if I was being over sensitive and tight not letting him just eat chocolate, but to be honest, it's me that'll have to deal with the fall out when he gets scurvy...

Thing is - if I left him for the day, what would I come back to? Hyperactive child? Chocolate smeared walls?

which is why you should amke it a w/end. dont just pick up the pieces or he'll never learn.

how did YOU learn to be a parent?

in at the deep end, thats how.

You might come back to that I guess but you'd also come back to a DH who had spent the day having sole responsibility for his child....he can't NOT learn from that experience IMO

Totally agree. It is really unfair of your partner to undermine you like that. TBH, I get cross enough when my partner says stuff like 'Oh, don't do that, mummy will be cross'

FFS! It's not because I will be cross, it's because it's dangerous/mean/not allowed.