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Original poster

Letting baby stay away over night

32 replies

yvonneb13 · 08/02/2024 23:16

DS is one and has never had a night away from me and my mum wants to have him this Saturday so me and my husband can go out and celebrate valentines as he's away working next week. I've said said but as Saturday gets closer im getting more and more anxious he loves his granny but he gets very crabby round bed time and im scared he'll miss me his bed his routine ect.. I would love this night with my husband but I am just so worried it's gonna go awful and
He'll cry and
Not settle. any tips??

OP posts:
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mdinbc · 08/02/2024 23:55

Your mum has experience with little ones, and will manage. If he doesn't settle, just get her to call you. I'm a granny, and had mine overnight. Sometimes they settle right away, sometimes not, but I cuddled and eventually they relaxed.

Enjoy the opportunity to have a nice night out with your hubby.

Lizzieregina · 08/02/2024 23:57

Just make sure you give your mom all the tips and tricks for getting him to settle. And enjoy your night out!

HeddaGarbled · 08/02/2024 23:57

You’ll never know if you don’t try.

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DinnaeFashYersel · 09/02/2024 00:14

You mum wants to do this and has experience either babies.

Go out and enjoy yourself

Tatonka · 09/02/2024 00:16

Totally do it, it's much easier to get used to this if they are younger and then you can try and make it a semi regular thing

Tatonka · 09/02/2024 00:16

Totally do it, it's much easier to get used to this if they are younger and then you can try and make it a semi regular thing

NuffSaidSam · 09/02/2024 00:22

Chill out and give it a try.

Go somewhere nearby for dinner so if he's inconsolable you can go back, but chances are he'll be good as gold for his Grandma.

Mumoftwo1312 · 09/02/2024 00:22

It looks like I'm in the minority here but if you don't like the plan, you can cancel it.

The priority of needs/wants goes:

The baby
The mother (especially if breastfeeding)
Everyone else. What Granny and Daddy want does not trump what the baby and mother need/want.

Babies don't particularly like being away overnight from their parents and it will unsettle him, not that that would do any long term harm. If you really want the night away, then on balance it's worth unsettling him. But if you're in two minds about it, just downgrade it to an evening out.

Caffeinequeen91 · 09/02/2024 01:26

My youngest is 3 and has not ever had a night away without me or her dad. It isn’t something I want to do. And that’s okay.

Trynato · 09/02/2024 02:42

How far do you live and how often does baby see his grandma?

If you are nearby and your baby sees her a few times a week, I'd give it a try.

If you live three hours away and your baby sees his grandma 4 times a year and she is otherwise pretty much a "stranger" in his eyes, then I personally wouldn't.

The rule I like to go for is my child can stay without his dad or myself when he is old enough to ask himself, but it's of course up to you and what you are comfortable with x

Ponderingwindow · 09/02/2024 02:54

I wouldn’t have wanted to at that age. I would have had to pump regularly for an overnight and at that point I wasn’t really pumping often. Mostly though, I just wouldn’t have enjoyed myself because I wouldn’t have relaxed. DH wouldn’t have either.

2amclubx · 09/02/2024 03:00

Trynato · 09/02/2024 02:42

How far do you live and how often does baby see his grandma?

If you are nearby and your baby sees her a few times a week, I'd give it a try.

If you live three hours away and your baby sees his grandma 4 times a year and she is otherwise pretty much a "stranger" in his eyes, then I personally wouldn't.

The rule I like to go for is my child can stay without his dad or myself when he is old enough to ask himself, but it's of course up to you and what you are comfortable with x

Edited

We're 5 minutes down the road see each other most days x

Trynato · 09/02/2024 03:01

2amclubx · 09/02/2024 03:00

We're 5 minutes down the road see each other most days x

Show quote history

I'd definitely go for it and have fun xx

WandaWonder · 09/02/2024 03:35

My ilaws had our baby when they were young so we had along weekend I figured they raised kids before so handed baby over, missed them but had a nice break as well

No I don't think I needed to be glued to my baby we spent enough time together as it was it wasn't a competition to see how stuck together were to each other

Dh and I still did things occasionally without our baby sometimes, the world didn't change when we became parents

crew2022 · 09/02/2024 03:56

I was happy for an overnight stay. It was good for all of us.

Original poster
yvonneb13 · 09/02/2024 04:06

Im definitely leaning
More
Towards the letting her
Have him we haven't had a night out together in a year it's well over due lol im just worried but im sure it will be fine. Although he has been up every hour tonight 😩 teething I think

OP posts:
Stevesellsshells · 09/02/2024 06:47

Go for it. Send some Calpol with him and go have some fun (and get a decent night's sleep). Mine always slept better at the GPs than at home at that stage!

Sometimes we need to put on our oxygen masks first.

Mummy2823 · 09/02/2024 06:50

What if she minds him at your house. That way he gets to sleep in his own bed and then when you can home you can check on him and he wakes up to you in the morning.

mrssunshinexxx · 09/02/2024 06:59

If you love local to your mum I'd go for it and just don't drink incase it doesn't go well you can go and pick him up straight away z

Beansandneedles · 09/02/2024 07:10

I wasn't ready until my children were 2. It's totally up to you what you're comfortable with and whatever you decide is fine :)

ZsaZsaTheCat · 09/02/2024 07:16

Mummy2823 · 09/02/2024 06:50

What if she minds him at your house. That way he gets to sleep in his own bed and then when you can home you can check on him and he wakes up to you in the morning.

Can’t imagine OP would be getting in before baby wakes up?? It’s an overnight.

canttellyouwhereorwhatido · 09/02/2024 07:46

I couldn't wait for a baby free night. Left first with GPs at 8 months. For a weekend away. 2nd at 6months and 3rd at 3 months. I bf all so had to pump for the last two but a weekend child free was well worth the effort. Kids loved it. Parents loved it and GPs loved it. Winner all round.

Like pp mentioned . I was never one who felt they needed to be attached limpet-like to the kids - which worked well for us all - as it made them comfortable and confident to be away from me at an early age.

Mummy2823 · 09/02/2024 07:59

@ZsaZsaTheCat I didn't realise it was overnight. I thought they just meant a night out

Mariposistaaa · 09/02/2024 08:53

WandaWonder · 09/02/2024 03:35

My ilaws had our baby when they were young so we had along weekend I figured they raised kids before so handed baby over, missed them but had a nice break as well

No I don't think I needed to be glued to my baby we spent enough time together as it was it wasn't a competition to see how stuck together were to each other

Dh and I still did things occasionally without our baby sometimes, the world didn't change when we became parents

Lovely to read a sensible post on here in amongst all the ‘ohhh I just coooooouldn’t’.
Trust me, the baby will be fine. The problem is most usually the mother.

TheBirdintheCave · 09/02/2024 08:58

WandaWonder · 09/02/2024 03:35

My ilaws had our baby when they were young so we had along weekend I figured they raised kids before so handed baby over, missed them but had a nice break as well

No I don't think I needed to be glued to my baby we spent enough time together as it was it wasn't a competition to see how stuck together were to each other

Dh and I still did things occasionally without our baby sometimes, the world didn't change when we became parents

Yeah this.

My parents had our son for a week when he was nine months old as my husband and I needed to travel to Venice for work (wedding photography). They sent us plenty of photos and videos and we face-timed with him a few times but ultimately we didn't feel bereft of his absence as we knew he was safe and well cared for. We had an amazing week!

OP, this is one night and it sounds like you'd really love to go and spend time alone with your husband. Go and make the most of it. You deserve a break :D