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Parenting

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Is this civilised co parenting?

14 replies

Babygirlmum · 08/02/2024 12:07

I allowed my ex to my house to see DD, as when he tried to take her a few days prior, she was in so much distress and would not go with him, the screams was uncontrollable, she was scratching and screaming not to go with him, I allowed him to come and see her from my home, he came I was nice and civil with him I made him tea and let them bond, after about an hour he pulled me into him and laid me on his chest and was touching me and kissing the top of my head, he would grab me any chance he got, he came behind me while I was putting DD in her high hair for dinner and grabbed me from behind and held me really tight, he passed a few sexual comments over, and then he went home, I didn't say much about it straight away as I was trying to process what had just happened let me add, we are due in court next week for a contact agreement, which was applied for over a year ago now, he asked me could he FaceTime DD however I was in work so he wasn't best pleased about this, however I can't help being in work when he asked, I then out of curiosity asked him, why he persisted to do these things, like pull me in to cuddle and touch me etc, he would not answer me and he continued to become angry, I asked him I just wanted to know as to why he does this as he he said it was civilised co parenting, he would not tell me why he done it nor would he acknowledge the fact he done it, he then mentioned he is not interested.

OP posts:
Snowdropsarecoming · 08/02/2024 12:09

You’ve already posted it and were told it was unacceptable and lots of advice was given.

I’m sorry but you have been sexually assault. There are charity groups out there who can offer advice and support.

Smartiepants79 · 08/02/2024 12:11

Don’t have him in your home again.
You need an alternative arrangement.
At the bare minimum you need someone else in the house with you, mum, friend etc.
He doesn’t sound safe to be around.

feathermucker · 08/02/2024 12:13

You know this is not civilised or normal/healthy in any way. Do NOT let him into your home and mention this to whoever is representing you at court. Sorry this has happened to you.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Babygirlmum · 08/02/2024 12:14

When I asked him, he would not acknowledge the fact he done this, however when I told him I had moved in, he then started to throw it up in my face about this when he was the one who was doing it to me, it makes no sense at all, and the reason why I have reposted is because I couldn't see some comments it stated I had on this.

OP posts:
LilBus · 08/02/2024 12:17

Did you post this exact thing word for word 6 days ago?

Babygirlmum · 08/02/2024 12:18

@LilBus I did, however as I stated I couldn't see some of the comments and so I have pitted it back up as I want opinions on this, as he makes me believe that it's me. Is this a problem. I thought posts could be removed?

OP posts:
LilBus · 08/02/2024 12:24

Well you know the answer he is trying it on. I’ve read your posts before and you and him clearly have a very volatile relationship so not sure why you are now letting him have contact in your house. Stop letting him in.

Babygirlmum · 08/02/2024 12:25

@LilBus I know this, he gets into my head, I lost my mum and dad both within 12 weeks apart so I was very vulnerable and he told me he would take care of us and then turned again, so this was me being stupid I guess, he turns all the time.

OP posts:
mintmagnum3 · 08/02/2024 12:30

Snowdropsarecoming · 08/02/2024 12:09

You’ve already posted it and were told it was unacceptable and lots of advice was given.

I’m sorry but you have been sexually assault. There are charity groups out there who can offer advice and support.

I know it can be frustrating to read threads when they've already been covered, but sometimes just getting it off your chest and reaching out to different users really helps.
I was a victim of emotional abuse from my ex, talking (which often involved repeating myself) really helped me. I only have a handful of people who will listen. Some have none and resort to these forums. Shouldn't be embarrassed about it.
I think maybe the best thing, if you're irritated by repeating posts, is to just ignore them and be thankful that you're (hopefully) not in that situation.

mintmagnum3 · 08/02/2024 12:30

Sending you love OP ❤️

Babygirlmum · 08/02/2024 12:33

@mintmagnum3 very true I thought the same, thank you for you're kind comment, I really do appreciate it and it's nice to see somebody actually understand, there is a lot of negativity on here I see. Not sure why as it makes no sense. Take care.

OP posts:
Igmum · 08/02/2024 14:03

Sending love OP and sorry you're going through this. Yes, it was assault. Please report this to the Police and tell the courts what happened (frankly the Family Courts don't really care about assaults on women but it is a good solid reason never to let this man into your home again).

If he has a key change the locks.

Make sure all contact with you is written - texts, emails or WhatsApp.

Again, this man isn't co-parenting, he's assaulting you, probably to assert his dominance.

mintmagnum3 · 08/02/2024 14:29

@Babygirlmum you're very welcome.
I can't understand why people make unhelpful comments like that. You're reaching out for help and support and don't deserve those comments.
Some people find it very hard to remember that there's a person behind these comments.

I hope you find some peace and an answer ❤️

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