5yo struggles with greetings

[JumpinJellyfish]

My DS is 5.5 (year 1). He is a lovely sociable boy with lots of friends but he really struggles with saying hello when we meet them out and about. Eg coming and going from school there will be lots of children shouting his name and he just blanks them. I’ve talked to him about this and he says he feels really shy when it happens. I’ve tried practising with him
at home and he’s great with me but he can’t seem to put it into practice. Bribery hasn’t worked and I don’t know what to try next.

It’s been an issue since covid (which was when he was 2-3.5) and I was hoping he would grow out of it but he hasn’t yet.

My daughter was like this, I told her she was very rude and that's its unacceptable and she got better. It's difficult though because you can't force them to speak can you 🤦‍♀️ I would say just persevere and highlight how it makes people feel if they are ignored.

My boy was like this too - I think it's pretty common. He was very shy - especially with adults and wouldn't say hello to people.

I enlisted nice parents on the school run to help. They'd say hello to him on the way in, and we started with "You can just smile or wave if you can't speak to them" and gradually progressed to actually speaking. Took a while but we just met him where he was and went fr there.

Can't shut him up now...

Thank you both for your replies. @Hygeelady Ive explained to him
that it is rude and needs to stop but I think that was probably a mistake as I’ve made more of an issue out of it now. I’ve also pointed out that if he feels awkward that actually just saying hello makes it all end quicker, because sometimes people
just think he hasn’t heard them and will shout at him repeatedly!

@silversmith I will try the smile and wave approach. At the moment his friends don’t seem to find it a problem at all but I worry that as he gets older they might start getting annoyed with him.

My DD is the same. She's in y2. Nothing I say is going to help and just adds to the feeling of anxiety around it.

I do this I have a pathological fear of using peoples names which started when I was 6 and I wanted my friends mum's attention to tell her something I didn't know what to call her.

Saying hello and pleasantries is something I consciously have to do. So much communication with other people causes me distress due to social anxiety so to add in additional communication that feels superfluous is a challenge to me when I'm vulnerable or life is challenging and I'm "low on spoons" when it is a decision between using a spoon on pleasantries or showering or eating or having a conversation with a loved one I do have to question why I am using my energy on them. People that know me now recognise it as a sign that I'm currently struggling with my mental health and that freedom not to be masking my feelings is so good for my mental health. Trying to fit my square peg into a round hole just created distress for me

Would you call him rude for other displays of anxiety? Maybe this is a place to start, what would you do if instead of not saying hello to a person they were shaking with anxiety or having a panic attack? What support would you give? I would do that when he isn't able to say hello to a person. Approach the situation with compassion rather than bring guilt that they are being "rude" might be more fruitful.

Thanks @Superscientist I completely agree - my whole aim here is to reduce his anxiety, not increase it.