2 under 2's how bad is it really?

[anniz91]

I'm considering another...BUT is having 2 under 2 really as bad as everyone makes it out to be?

Wow, you must be a super mum! I can barely manage one!

I think for those for whom it is a really bad idea it's just never on the cards.

For me it would have been an horrendous decision. When my daughter turned 1 I was in a mother and baby unit with severe pnd and psychosis. My daughter was pretty much solely formula fed, wasn't engaging with weaning, was heavily medicated for reflux and between 12 and 18 months had a really bad relapse and was waking up every 30 minutes. I was still struggling so much with number 1 that number 2 was absolutely no where near my radar. Not to mention I still wasn't ready for that level of intimacy because of the severe depression.

You will get a range of opinions from it was great to hard but worth it to hard and I hope it will be worth it. I think if you are actively considering it there's a reasonable chance you will cope. If it was a complete no go the chances are you wouldn't have made this thread your automatic response to number 2 was hell no. For me when I started to feel a tingle of sadness and not relief when I heard about friends announcing their number 2s that we started to discuss the possibility with medical professionals which was around 3 years post partum. It took until 2 years to recover from the pnd. My daughters reflux is still bad but we cope better. Generally being able to cope with daily life as a family of 3 has been the marker for if we are ready given there is a high chance of me getting unwell again after giving birth

16 months between mine. Youngest is now 9 months.

It was easy to start with. Then she had horrific colic from 6 weeks until 4 months which was hell. But it would've been no better without toddler. Once that passed, it was mostly lovely.

From 7 months when baby would nap in her cot, rather than on me/in sling it became absolutely fine! Also by that age she was less fragile with a wild toddler sister!! When baby went to 2 naps it became a bit trickier, as baby now naps 11-12/12.30, toddler 12.45ish until 2, baby 2.30/3-4.30/5, so we only really get to go out and do activities in the morning (baby gets too distracted to nap when out unless continuously walking, which obv doesn't happen with a toddler)

If I was to do it again I'd keep a 14-16 month age gap. They already make each other laugh so much and play together. Totally overlapping the harder bits! And both love the same age appropriate stuff.

22 month gap. Now 6 and nearly 8. It was great, all my second maternity leave DC1 was still napping so I got loads of afternoons with them both asleep while I relaxed. They've spent most of their lives being at similar enough stages to play together really well.

I wouldn't have wanted any bigger gap.