Nursery/Pre-school WWYD?

[VERYBRUISEDPEAR]

Sorry - this is a bit long!

DD(3) has been at a private nursery from 11 months, is really happy there and has a great bunch of friends. She's a September baby and most of her friends (all her good friends except 2) will be going to school in September 2024, whereas she will be going in 2025. We're now wondering what to do with her next year.

If we keep her at the private nursery she'll end up doing 2 years in the preschool room. They do some phonics etc but I don't think it will really stretch/stimulate her much. On the other hand she is really happy there and knows all the staff, plus has 2 good friends that will (probably) still be there.

The alternative would be to send her to the preschool of the primary that she will almost certainly be going to. It's quite an academic primary, and even the preschool does a lot of phonics and maths which will set her up well for reception. She'll also see her friends who will already be in reception as they do after-school club together. She's quite a gregarious little thing so I think she'd make new friends too (although how much of her confidence and gregariousness comes from being so happy and settled at her current nursery idk).

Wild card option would be to do 2 days at her current nursery and 2 at the school preschool (one at home with me).

If you get this far, thanks for reading! Any thoughts/experience would be appreciated as we don't know what to do!

Personally I wouldn't be splitting her time between 2 settings at that age. I think both options sounds fine but just choose 1. It would be a pro to send her to preschool as I believe it might make settling into reception a lot easier.

I'd keep her where she is. Presumably the pre-school will make her wear uniform etc (I personally feel they're too little for a such a structured day) and will be shorter hours than the nursery, so not as useful for childcare purposes?

I wouldn't split her between 2 settings - especially as her friends have now gone - and then having to learn new routines / adults / friends etc.

I would personally pick the pre school so that she is familiar with the environment ready for school & can still see her friends with the added bonus of getting ready for reception.

Does it matter that the preschool will be term time only? Will the after school club definitely have space? I would normally say preschool so they'd get used to the school if the hours worked. I don't think splitting between the two venues would work.

Only thing I'd flag is that I've found the reception children tend to view themselves as far, far older than the preschool children (the "babies") and her friends might act a bit like that. Certainly DS1 was confused that his cousin (a year above him in terms of school, 4 months older than him in reality) was quite dismissive of him at school.

School nursery is going to be 9-3ish term time only. Can you manage the school holidays keeping in mind that holiday camps for nursery age kids are limited/virtually non existent for nursery age kids? Will you need wrap around care and can the school nursery children access it, guaranteed, because sometimes they aren’t eligible or there can be waitlists prioritising the older ones. If a SAHP I’d go school nursery but if you’d be scrabbling for childcare stay put. They all have to follow the same early years framework so she wouldn’t be missing out on anything important.

I put younger one in the school setting. Definitely the right decision! She is now in reception and well settled.

My eldest stayed in the private nursery though, because I wasn’t 100% sure she’d get a place at the school.

Thanks all - interesting thoughts.

I'm not too worried about the hours at the preschool, as they can do breakfast and after-school clubs with the older children. Holidays would definitely be a faff though.

My biggest concern (as a pp mentioned) is her previous friends dropping her because she's a "baby". She's pretty socially aware, and I think it would upset her and might knock her confidence.

If the holidays are going to be a faff and she still has friends at the private nursery then I'd probably stay. Round here there's only one holiday club that will take children younger than reception (even the ones that say they take 4 year olds specify they need to be in reception).

Are the children at the private nursery likely to go to the same school? That would also be a factor for me.

I kept mine where she was.

She's also a September baby heading to school this year, while most of her friends moved up last year. She's made new friends from the new preschool cohort, and her old friends have made new friends amongst their new class mates. It's sad, but it's just the way of things when they're small. If there's a two form intake into her school, she may not have any of her friends either. She'll do the same when she goes into reception itself, when there's even more new children to meet. They'll be fine.

On the school readiness front, I feel that the nursery also seems to work a little harder on phonics and other school ready activities with those leaving for school, rather than those staying behind. So I'm hoping my DD will be stretched a little more this year. Or that she'll take more interest in it than she did last year anyway.

Also putting off having to organise holidays around term time for another year, is a bonus!

Honestly, she'll be fine.

My daughter does 1.5 days at pre school and 2 days at her private nursery. She is a summer baby so age wasn't my reasoning but she is bright, work changes meant we needed more than 2 days childcare and tbh, it was cheaper! With her brother already at the school it worked ok for us. She has settled well and seems fine about attending 2 different settings 🤷🏼‍♀️

My DS is currently in his deferred year of nursery preschool (pretty common in Scotland) so is in his 2 year at private preschool nursery.

My advice is to speak to the nursery and discuss it and if they can tailor elements to what she enjoys/challenge her a bit. For him they actually challenge him more, he does reading, writing, phonics, Spanish and maths. He's now doing more then his friends that went to primary (scottish system is different so large play aspect for P1).

I think school pre-school, if she's ready for that kind of setting. We had that plus a childminder, so they had a nice chilled out home setting after nursery.

DD2 made a good friend at nursery and her friend was almost exactly a year older than DD2. They are still good friends now in Y11 and Y10.

We've kept DD1 at her private nursery in a similar situation (although practically, we had no choice, as our school doesn't do wraparound for nursery). I'm not worried about straight academic skills, but just in terms of stretching and engaging them, the nursery has always seemed to smoothly adjust to the children's interests and levels. She isn't the oldest in the room, though, and I know a couple of others who are clearly bright, so I'm sure that makes it easier on the staff for planning stretching activities.

I also think it's been good for her in a broader sense. She's now had the experience of being one of the 'big ones' in the room and helping the new cohort settle in and learn the routines. There were apparently some issues with shoving/snatching/etc. with some of the littler ones, and it was highlighted that DD1 was good at assessing when she could resolve this herself by including them in the game/making space for them at the colouring table, or by asking them to stop/give it back, and when she needed help from the staff – and she used to just withdraw in that sort of situation. That's all really, really valuable learning for a small child.

I wouldn't worry about 'friends' at this age. Small dc play with whoever happens to be near them.
I think the important point is hours and holiday cover.
Unless you have a < school hours job that is term time only, I'd keep them in the PVI for as long as possible.

I’d keep her where she is if holidays would be a faff. My DD was in the same situation and a lot of her friends went to school the September just gone but she’s now made plenty of new friends so I wouldn’t worry about that (she’s outgoing and sounds like your daughter).

Thanks all for your views and taking the time to reply. Lots of things to think about. We'll be visiting the pre school soon so it will be helpful to have these ideas in the backs of our mind.