Parents of children with ADHD

[Honeybeebuzz]

I have a 7 year old
He's always been quite willful and doesn't follow instructions well but no more than a typical child
He is quite dominant around other children but makes friends easily.
His school have suggested that he may have ADHD and have referred him for an assessment. I accept his behaviour in school can be challenging, not listening and getting up from his seat but didn't think ADHD, what signs did your children have before diagnosis?

You are measured in 3 areas for ADHD. you have to score above average in at least 2 out of the three areas. So you will see a huge variety of symptoms, as some children will score highly in all 3 areas, and some just over average in 2 areas.

The three areas are attention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity.

You can have someone who scores highly for hyperactivity who can easily follow expectations to stay seated in a chair without getting up. But they will fidget constantly (shake leg, doodle, shake pen, twirl hair, bite nails etc)

Common signs are talking incessantly, needing a lot of support to get ready in the morning, sleep issues, inability to sit still, sensory seeking behaviour, mood swings, constant snacking, being withdrawn.

You might find this list of symptoms helpful OP:

My DS's couldn't stay still for 5 mins from about 2 years old, woke up at 5am every morning from babies, had 100 times more energy than I did, even after swimming 30 lengths in a swimming pool they'd jump out and have this unlimited energy that drained me, 1 DS cut things, the other chewed anything and everything including his wooden bed, a bit like a chipmunk. Between the elder one cutting his bedsheets with his pencil sharpener and the younger one literally eating his wooden bed I felt many times like Id have a breakdown. DH did help a lot and took both boys out bike riding miles to wear them out. We bought a trampoline and our youngest had to bounce for 20 mins before school every day to take the edge off his energy on the recommendation of the consultant. Both boys got put on medication despite my initial concerns about it. The eldest got medicated at 11 but we were offered medication from 9 and the difference was amazing. Then we felt guilty for not allowing it earlier. Once we'd seen this transformation including going from bottom Maths set to set set of 4 all within a year we allowed the youngest to be medicated from 6. The eldest didn't like school and in spite of ok GCSE's insisted on leaving school at 16. He's a Class 1 lorry driver now with his own home. The youngest went on to get A levels but refused to go to uni. He has a decent job and is also buying his own home. When they were little I thought they'd never succeed in things because they couldn't concentrate. As they grew older they learned strategies for coping. I'd say take them to a consultant and let them assess your DC.

As PP says, there are many different symptoms. I have a DD and girls often present very differently from boys - and are under-diagnosed because of that - so this may not be helpful, but I think they do apply to both sexes.
So a few of the less-known things which correlate with ADHD are: being very energetic, resistant to sleep and extremely alert and talkative from very young; problems toileting, so having accidents past the point where you feel it's 'normal' (say 7 or 8); sensory issues shown with things like always wanting to wear the same t-shirt (because of its feel) or relying on a 'cuddly' when others have given them up (eg stroking); problems dressing and undressing, and things like tying shoelaces; not doing any/much schoolwork in class but managing homework better (fewer distractions, 1 to 1 if helped by parent); really needing to exercise (massive effect on mood); stimming; having very intense but short-lived obsessions.

My son has ADHD and autism and is similar. I didn't know toileting problems were a symptom of ADHD, thanks @Namechangeforadhd , we have had that in spades.

If school have raised concerns please listen to them. They wouldn’t have said anything if they did think there was a good chance they’d be right. You might not see some of the same behaviour at home because you are not trying to manage 30 child all at once. You will also unwittingly be managing his behaviour because he’s your son and you have just set up your home and own routines to make your life easier and you will do things that suit him. It is very common for parents to think their child doesn’t have additional needs just because of how they are at home. Often they are very different at school.

@SoIRejoined I found out a lot of the stuff on American websites. There's some really funny stuff too like 'adhd kids putting a coat on' : it's apparently very common to sort of fling their coat over their head and kind of let it slip over both their arms at once. Who knew?! (apparently lots of Americans with adhd!). Broken lamps, vases and picture frames were the order of the day until DD learned at about 11 or 12 how to do it 'normally'!
The toileting thing was a total nightmare and I wish someone had told me. The amusement of the coat thing doesn't quite make up for it!